In Response

i want to live in the city in an apartment with a balcony where i can sit and smoke and watch the traffic. i want shorter hair and more eye makeup,,, i want to surround myself with equally passionate people and get close to everyone so no matter where i go ill have somehwere to stay. even peru. i want to stop letting people drive my car and get there on my own// anywhere on my own/ i want you to scream (interpret that any way you wish just don't search for answers...ask). i want to feel alive every second of every day and i don't want to waste my time with people who can't handle feeling that way. i want the kind of passion that seems (surreal). i want a life-time supply of vanilla coffee and marlboro menthol milds/ i want to answer my phone more and call the people who matter back so they know how much i really do care. i want the strength to erase all those text messages. i want to fall in love with someone who loves me because of who i am..... not who i could be. i don't want to hear the words 'i love you' unless im worth fighting for. i want to make a soundtrack of the past year and i want 'leather' by tori amos to be the first song. i want to watch 'rent' more than twice//////// i want to burn everything that reminds me of anyone who makes my stomach feel inside out. i want to get mad as hell and hear something shatter.. i want to throw those handcuffs away., then buy new ones. i want to spit in someones face....then i want to let go.

finally