Getting Started (and living the dream)

I want to be a writer. All I need to do is get started.

I am positive that I will be a great writer because I have an amazing plan that I will stick to without fail. I will write for at least four hours everyday. I will revel in sitting in my pajamas at three o’clock in the morning unable to stop writing at my computer because the ideas are flowing from my hands like a fast torrent and I cant type quickly enough to keep up. I cannot wait to drink copious amounts of coffee that I have let cool to lukewarm because I am so busy writing pages of never ending interesting ideas and plots. I will finish my book in record time because it really isn’t that hard to do, especially with a plan like mine. All I need to do is get started.

I know that I will be published straight away and earn unlimited amounts of money which I will spend on shoes and handbags. I will buy myself an adorable tiny laptop that I will carry everywhere in case I find inspiration in the rest of the world. In fact I will be world renowned and have a surplus of adoring fans. I will run courses to try and help the unfulfilled write a book that is half as good as mine. Maybe I will even let them in on my excellent plan. All I need to do is get started.

Maybe I will write a bestselling thriller, a complicated and intelligent mystery, a mouth-watering romance, a humorous and fun chick-lit novel or even an acclaimed autobiography. I have so many options with my ingenious plan, I don’t know why it hasn’t been thought of before. I must truly be one of a kind. I should get a website created just for me. Maybe I will use a purple and gold colour scheme. I am a marketing genius. All I need to do is get started.

I must tell my friends about this so they wont be surprised when my picture is in the newspapers and I am referred to as a prodigy. I am sure they know of my many talents already however so it should not be that much of a surprise to them. I shall write each of them a letter and ask that they do not sell any stories about me to the press who will be gumming to know every single detail of my past life. After that I will definitely get started.

I should go onto websites like friends reunited and bebo and let all my old school mates know how successful I am now. I may even send them my first chapter when I write it. I know they will be impressed. Maybe they’ll put pictures up in my old schools as inspiration for the students. I’m sure they will have some kind of presentation to honour me, after all I have put their school on the map with their first famous past pupil. This is very important news, maybe I should do that now. After that I will definitely get started.

I must let my boss know that he will be losing such a valuable member of staff. He will be devastated I am sure. The entire staff will be lost without me but I must follow my talents to more profitable paths. They will probably make a plaque to say that I once worked there and give me a very expensive gift to send me on my literary way. I cannot possibly work a full-time job because I need the hours to put into other fruitful avenues. As well as writing my international sensation of a novel, I will spend a few moments every day churning out incredible short stories which I will then have published on a regular basis thus earning as I concentrate on my higher path. I will have a meeting explaining this to my boss tomorrow. Then I will definitely get started.

I really have to prepare my family for the fact that I will be the most successful relative. Ever. I can now make sure that they are all financially secure for the rest of their days. Of course, some of them will try to cash in on my name without my consent, but even their best efforts will be below par so I have nothing to worry about. Hmm, maybe I should let them know that their attempts will be futile and not to even bother trying to follow in my most fortunate footsteps. I will hold a family meeting and convey my theory to them. Then I can get started.

Actually, I should probably find an agent first. I will be so busy that I will need someone to help with the administrative side of things and to remind me how many glorious offers I have had in any given week. I need to look up the best agent immediately. I will have many agents pursuing me but I can only accept the very best. I need to start this immediately and then I will get started.

I’m starting to wonder about copyrights and people trying to steal my ideas. I need a solicitor to help protect me from those who would try to copy my original work. I cannot write a word until I know it cannot be ripped off by a jealous artist of much less talent. That’s the first thing to do on my list, sure after that, it will be no problem getting started.

I am a bit tired now, all this planning and stress has made me quite sleepy. If I go to bed early tonight I can be up bright and early in the morning, fresh with new ideas and plans. My life is very exciting and my brain works at ultra fast speeds. I am lucky this is going to be so easy for me when I get started. I cannot get started tomorrow night because there is a film on that I really want to see and who knows it may give me inspiration. Maybe I’ll get started the next night. Of course, I forgot I can’t, I am going to the pub for a few drinks. I know, I’ll only have one drink then leave early to write for the rest of the night. Only the others will be very upset if I’m not there to provide witty conversation. Right, I’ll have one last night of being social and then I will get started. Except I promised my sister I would go shopping with her the following day and that’s always a tiring experience. Then the next day I always go home for dinner with my family…

Ok then next week. Next week, I will definitely get started.