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Rated: 13+ · Short Story · Comedy · #1139294
A date gone horribly wrong...
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#1115385 by Not Available.


Tonight’s going to be the big night. The night when I finally become a man. I check the mirror for the one-millionth time, grinning at my reflection. I’m clean-shaven, don’t smell like wet socks, and my breath’s minty-fresh thanks to several sticks of Doublemint bubblegum. I sniff my armpits quickly, nod in satisfaction and step out of my Dad’s borrowed BMW to make my way to my date’s front door. I know I look good dressed in a pair of khaki pants and one of my best black dress-shirts. There’s no way she can resist me.

We crossed paths at the grocery store. Our eyes met, sparks flew, I mustered up enough courage to talk to her and the next thing you know, we’re exchanging phone numbers and here I am. Brandon LeBrock, high school senior, ready to meet the most gorgeous raven-haired, green-eyed, long-legged beauty with a downright sexy voice –

Huh? What’s this? This isn’t my date!

“Uumm…”

“You Brandon?” the woman leaning against the doorway asks, smacking rather loudly on her chewing gum. She’s dressed in a tight black dress, so short that it barely covers her ass. There’s a tattoo of a rose on her upper left arm and her shocking bleached blond hair is a sharp contrast to her heavily tanned skin. She might have been beautiful if she didn’t have so much makeup on her face.

“Yes…”

“Great. Let me get my purse.”

She saunters into the house, leaving me gawking in disbelief. I reach into my pockets, panicking at the thought of coming to the wrong house. But the woman had called me by name, which means she knows who I am. But what does this all mean? Where’s Ashley?

“Ready, handsome?” she croons, already walking towards the car, hardly waiting for me to open the car door or anything. I have to run to catch up, wincing as I notice her already lighting a cigarette as soon as she settles in. My dad’s going to kill me if he gets a whiff of this.

“Uuum…about Ashley…” I begin weakly, hoping I can stop this train wreck before it gets even worse.

“She ain’t coming,” the woman replies, digging through her enormous black purse. She smells of cheap perfume and it’s making me gag a little. “She had to go meet her husband. He had an accident or something back home.”

What?! “She’s…she’s married?!”

“Sure she is!” She laughs and shakes her head. “What? You thought she was really serious about going out with a kid like ya? She said you were cute and fun, so I guess I’ll be the one to give you what you want tonight.” She waggles her brows at me and gives me a toothy grin. I can feel my balls shriveling in disgust. Oh, dear God.

“The name’s Samantha by the way. Call me Sam. Now, are ya gonna drive this baby or what?”

Trying hard to swallow my disappointment, I reluctantly pull out of the driveway and drive to the restaurant I had reserved for the night. However, I’ve hardly gone a mile when the sudden loud sound of some obscure rock tune interrupts the silence. I watch Sam dig into her bag again to whip out a cellphone. After a very animated conversation, which involves some colorful curse words, she snaps the phone shut and barks coldly.

“Make a quick stop at the 7-11 over on Smith’s.”

“What? Why?!”

“Just do it, kid! It ain’t gonna take you more than five minutes.”

Grumbling beneath my breath, I do as I’m told and as I pull up to the brightly lit parking lot, I watch in horror as a figure runs towards the car and begins to scramble for the backdoor.

What the hell…?!

“Drive!” the girl screams as she dives into the back seat. Something loud goes off and I think I almost pee in my pants at the sound. That was a goddamn gunshot! And another one!

“Move it, kid!” Sam bellows and takes over the wheel for a moment. I’m frozen in terror, wondering if I’m going to make it out of here alive. I really don’t want to die. All I wanted was to lose my virginity tonight. Why does this have to happen to me?!

“How much?” Sam’s asking as she kneels on the seat to eye her friend.

“Only a couple of hundreds,” the other girl replies, grinning and holding up a bag of stuff and a wad of bills. “I think we’ve got enough.”

“Great! All right, change of plans, kid,” Sam says. “You’re going to take us to the bus station.”

I only nod, not having the strength to argue with them. I just want this night to end and to go back to being an ordinary high school kid with no criminal record. Wait a second…is that the sound of police sirens behind us?!

“Shit,” the girl in the backseat curses. “Cops.”

“Oh God,” I moan. “I’m so dead! My dad’s gonna kill me!”

“Well, if you weren’t driving like such a pansy, we’d be out of here!” Sam yells at me. “Stop the car! We’ll find the way from here.”

I do as I’m told again and to my chagrin, she leans close to place a firm kiss on my cheek. “Sorry about the mess, cutie. Maybe we’ll do this next time.”

I certainly hope not. I pull off to the side of the road, watching with mild fascination as the two women quickly blend into the shadows and disappear from sight. Unfortunately, my night doesn’t get any better. The cops finally catch up to me and I’m taken to the county jail where I’ll be held until my dad comes to bail me out.

I wonder how I’ll even begin to explain the events of the evening. At least I can always start with the words ‘You see, tonight was supposed to be the big night. The night when I’d become a man…

Word Count: 997



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