merry maryjane

and where is that beautiful, wonderful feeling?
deep inside my lungs, clouding my insides
with warmth and fire and clouds...

the only better experience is the next breath
when your senses and thrown into your face

you squint your eyes so you can see them, catch them
but the earth keeps falling away from under your feet,
you stumble, but only in your mind.
you're still standing, slumping,
laughing and smiling and wanting to lay down,

watch the clouds molding and folding like clay,
all the different new shapes,

im in a cardboard world, nobody has surprise guns.
i can hide beside a skyscraper, enfolded in its
thin outside shell...

and when your eyes start to warm, and soon they start
glowing from your sockets, heating..
its okay because their mostly closed anyway.
it doesnt hurt you.

and oh my ears are on my face!
your ears become directly attached to the brain,
sounds start massaging the scalp,
throbbing, loud, isolated noises

noises you never notice when your sober...

the ground becomes a layer below you,
you stand on a layer of air, just inches above the floor.
You can still walk, but the ground becomes lava,
and you cant touch that.

suddenly out of nowhere! a wave of fear, panic, such excitement!
what was that noise? somebody is coming to get me!
my mother is home, the police showed up!
and then everything is okay
it doesnt matter what that noise was because it wasnt real.
its almost never real.

sometimes things that have always been important to you
become foolish, seem so stupid.
and maybe, i think, the real you is only you when your high.
Everything is so stupid.
that stupid haircut you thought was so cute,
that dumb guy you dont even like anymore,
the stupidest parents, cant bother with them,
oh jesus what was i thinking?
i understand it all better now.

and then meaning of life will come to you. you will feel a great peace, and youll understand everything perfectly.
you cant expain it, you just feel it. it is from then on you know the true meaning of exsistance.

you suddenly want to make yourself a better person.
you are ashamed of who you are.
how ugly you really are.
or maybe your just seeing the inside??

oh... and kids? dont forget your sunshades, eh?