songsara (poem)

songsara


her memory sat with me for coffee today
strange angel peeled away my layers
fearlessly tapping the core
to be lovers would have lessened it,
though, being a man,
i would ruin my muse in foolish passion
spending my heart on mortal promise
and failing the surpassing reward

we are so foolish
protect us from the panic of loneliness,
meld loneliness into strength
into resolve to know the better meanings of alone

return to me at a secret hour my fair midnight love
my lover beyond passion
my heart beneath the beating
return to me when you find yourself a bit more free
when you and the finesse that drinks in the night
are put away
when you and the largesse that reveals perfect light
when you and your infinite resources
have returned to the abode of their proper belonging
have ceased hurting and come home

when i can hold you again like a bird with a broken wing
when i can bring you back to your own true self
when i can protect you once more
i will be happy
when i know that your mind is safe
i will be happy
though i know that the savvy of your innocence
will prevent you from being a victim
still i hope that you are among friends
i hope there is love in your life

as your wisdom summons my greater being
so are my gifts offered at your feet
let me clear your path of apocryphal terror and useless embrace
let me sweep away all false love and hate that could ever block your way
let me seed the fields of your future with golden apple trees and wine

meet me in the palace of our singular touching
where we will laugh on the roof until dawn’s quiet hand
relieves our reverie in her special way
rolling eternal sameness into a fresh moment
a new and brilliant day
waking the world with her sweet love
let us flee into the rising sun
taking what is offered; asking no more
living in the embrace of the world’s plenty
there by the cause of our giving of ourselves
after nights of knowing what could have been
- probably nothing
and all things possible within that

i fear what we might lose in vain embrace
and what could we find in that union
would we love each other past what we now know
or would we rescind the sacred space that always finds us
when we find ourselves together
i have no pictures of you
i would know you tomorrow
i guess i may see you again
and you will purple your teeth on the blood of my mind

As you are right in all matters which concern me
i can tell you what you most need to know to choose your next
i can find hidden and deep trails among your many possible futures
which will aid you most
i know the step you should take to continue your journey
but only when i see your face

teach me how to be again for one moment more
help me remember why i draw each breath
and why i wander this sad place alone
never knowing peace
prove to me that i can be kind in this harsh and desperate life
prove to me my mercy even on the fringe of despair
prove to me that our seeing of each other was true
that such an accident is impossible

to say that i miss you would render my promise false
i would not burden you in that way
but to say that i long for you now and again
when ordinary love has turned to sadness
when rain taps its sad and mystic rhythm through days of distraction and desire
when my broken heart would be offered as your feast
does not make me untrue to you in any way