Dead Logic

I ran through an endless maze of the one thing I cannot escape: the past. Not just any past, mine, my friends, everyone’s. I stumbled over a few more graves as I crossed through a yard of bones. I clutched the cross around my neck praying for safety as I walked across the barren wasteland of my memories. A cliché line I know, but how else am I to describe it?
I stopped walking when I came across a gravestone that said her name.” No." I said stepping backwards. I rubbed my eyes a few more times trying to see if what I was seeing was real, but it certainly wasn't fake.
I turned to run only to be faced with that empty graves girl, Natalia.
"Natalia, I'm so sorry." I sobbed falling at her feet. The stench of her rotting corpse was almost overwhelming,
"Sorry for killing me? Serity the time is almost here for you to give up on crying."
I sniffed and looked up at her.
"Get to your fucking feet you stupid little bitch." She said rolling her eyes and walking away.
I stood up hesitantly almost looking for a sign of forgiveness in the tone in which she called me a, "stupid little bitch." but I could hear none.
I tried to catch up to her; as she walked away I noticed she was wearing one of my dresses. A black one with a crimson corset with crimson strings. It had lost all beauty when she wore it, dirt clumped in the places where the exquisite lace used to be. It was almost a shame...
"Oh are you angry that i'm wearing one of your pretty dresses?" She asked picking up a wilted rose from the ground. She gently picked away at the dying petals and let them fall. We were now at the gate where I had first entered, looking for her.
"You always did take them..." I half mumbled.
Her eyes glowed bright red as she looked at me, "How in hell can you be talking about a stupid fucking dress when you're standing among the people that you've killed?"
I glared right back at her, "I haven't killed anyone!"
She walked right up to me. Her eyes were bloodshot with dirt crusting around the corners, not the shining example of beauty she had been when she was alive, "Really? Have you read any of the gravestones here Serity? They all date back to that day 3 years ago."
I turned away from her only to have my head roughly pulled back to look into her eyes, "The day you killed Ambre,"
"No!"
She smiled, "Daniel..."
Tears started gushing from my eyes, "No!"
She pulled my hair so that her mouth was at my ear, "And the day you killed Seacen."
I tried to struggle away from her. She was a liar. What happned that day wasn't my entire fault...I was in love with Seacen...and I loved my friends. I wouldn't purpously try to kill them, for gods sake I was only 13. At the time I was still missing Seacen the most. The thought of him made a tear fall from my eye.
She grinned, "I think its funny how hurt and upset you get when you think of Seacen but when it comes to me, Your old best friend, you don't even flinch."
"I said I was sorry!" I yelled at her exausted.
"But did you mean it Serity?" She walked up to me again whispering, "Did you mean it little angel?"
"I loved Seacen. You know that?" She said almost laughing, "I...I loved him...and right before you kill me, you go out and fuck him!"
"I did not "fuck" him" I said through clenched teeth, "We barely kissed and you know it,"
She turned away from me and pulled something out of her pocket. A moment later she was lighting a ciggeret.
She smoked for a few minutes before looking at me and then to the dangling peice of lung cancer in her mouth.
"You know, you always said that these things would kill me...Ha! But they didn't get a chance to Serity now did they?"
She flicked it out on the ground and smashed it with her red heels. Moments later a small worm wriggled out from her shoe. I shivered.
She stood there for a moment and stared me down. "You know, your blonde hair would look soo much better covered in dirt don't you think? Six feet under..."
I stood numbly watching her.
"Anwser me Serity." She said somewhat calmly.
"I don't know..." I said looking down.
" Oh but I think you do. And those lovely blue eyes would look so amazing if they were cut right from your perfect little skull don't you think?"
"No..." I said stepping away untill my back was against the Iron Gate.
She sighed looking at me her hand went to her head and rubbed her forehead, "Wake up Serity, you keep coming back here searching for your precious fucking memories, asking dead girls for forgiveness, you'll never live your mortal life. Do us all a favor okay? Next time you decide to come waltzing down memory lane and you want some forgiveness, go back in time and fucking undo all the shit that you did."
I shook my head, "You know I can't do that Natalia..."
She smiled, "Oh yes thats right! Thats right.okay well just never come back here okay. Seacens not here all right? So leave."
"I didn't come here for him." I said, "I'm begging you for your forgiveness."
She rolled her eyes, "Oh bullshit Serity, who do you think you're kidding here? You came here to try and save your lost love."
"I came to apologize to you!" I cried.
"Whatever. What do you want me to say? 'I forgive you for making me undead'?"
"That was your own fault..." I muttered.
This obviously didn't please her from the look in her eyes and the useless black wings sprouting from her back. But I didn't care, she needed to know.
"You're only undead because you're evil and you're holding a grudge against me I came to free you if you would just forgive me..."
Almost instantly her hands went around my neck, "Now you listen to me, you took everything! The love of my life...you took him. You did. You ask someone else for forgiveness."
I tried to turn my head away from her rotting teeth, "Oh little mortal girl doesn't like the smell of death?" She grinned looking into my eyes, Her black hairfell over one of her eyes as she smirked, "Get used to it angel. Who knows I might upgrade to Vampire? So then I could suck the life from you like you did me."
"That would be a downgrade you blood sucking bitch..." I pushed her away from me as I opened up the gate. She grinned from the ground.
I closed the gate shakily, my hands still holding on to the handle. Natalia came to the gate and stared at me through the bars.
"Mortals and their fucking laws" She said looking the gate up and down"...I will see you soon Serity, your little visit gave me some unexpected inspiration."
I looked at her confused, "You're dead what can you do?"
She clenched one of my hands, "I'm queen of the dead, and if you little angel, can bend rules, so can I."
My eyes went wide looking at her she sauntered away back to her grave she called over her shoulder,"Come back to dreamworld soon little angel..."
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I woke up face down beside one of the graves. I had fallen asleep in the graveyard for a reason. That was the only way I could get to talk to the undead. I rolled over, coughing up dirt. I squinted as the sun glared in my eyes.
I looked at my watch, 7:58.
I got up as quickly as I could and brushed myself off. I was wearing the blue jeans and light pink shirt I had been wearing yesterday. I wiped the bit of the dirt that had almost stained my shirt.
I whipped out my pocket mirror and inspected my face. My eyes looked almost as bad as Natalias did...My white face was almost discolored...My usual flawless complextion went down the drain right there.
I sighed and grabbed the pink bag I had brought with me the night before. There would be hell to pay when I got home. Dissapearing again without a reason wasn't good for a straight A student.
I started walking towards the gate leading out of the graveyard. My thoughts kept going back to what Natalia had said. Could she really bedn the rules? Technically I wasn't bending any rules but...could she do something without technically bending too?
I came to the gate where Mr. Carp, the groundskeeper was waiting.
He had gotten used to my usual nightly rutine of sleeping in the graveyard, In fact, I think he kind of supported it
"Hey Mr. Carp." I said smiling at him.
Mr Carp was an old man, and certainly a crazy one as well. His head was patchy and grey. He always wore a dark red trenchcoat over fishing boots. No one really took him seriously since his wife and kids were killed in an accident, everyone said he went downhill. But personally i think he's just fine, if not a little esentric.
He smiled at me as I approached, "Sleeping with the dead again girl? They reveal any secrets to you?"
I smiled back and shook my head, "No sir...but I was wondering...If.and this might sound crazy to-" I stopped...Hello? Whom was I talking to…?"I was just wondering...do you think the undead could break laws...you know...?"
He stood there for a moment scratching his head, "Well now...not really... i'm not sure!"
"Say...out of revenge or something...?" I asked
He looked at me strangley,"Why're you asking this girl? Now don't tell me you're meddling in other 'outside' affairs?"
I looked down nervously. "No I just...if i was to ask for forgiveness of the undead..."
He shook his head, "The undead are a bitter group Serity...don't go tryin' to change them. Especially the women." He mumbled taking out the gates keys, fumbling for the right one to the door.
He opened it for me and as I stepped out he grabbed my shoulder, "If they wanted to be forgiven they would be in a another place. Take whatever they say seriously. Girl, your messing' in places you shouldn't be."
And for a crazy guy, I was taking him pretty seriously right then too.
"Thank you sir." I said slipping away and heading for home. Maybe he was right, maybe I should have stopped going to the undead. But all these thoughts were muddled yet again by my past...I was so afraid of it repeating itself..
Little did I know at that time, all hell would soon break loose, and things would need to be repeated. In a grim manner.