If Wishes were Horses

This story is dedicated to my father Reverend Laverne Mueller. He was called to heaven in 1982.
Gods’ Gift
By Becky Prunty


Growing up I was the fourth child in a family of five. My father was a Congregational minister and I learned from an early age that Santa Claus was not real. My Daddy told us that Santa was from an old story about a very nice man but that he was definitely not real. As a matter of fact my older brother John had gone to see the school principle after telling some of the other children about this during recess.

At our house we knew Christmas was about the celebration of the birth of Christ.
In front of our Christmas tree stood a large present wrapped in white tissue paper with beautiful gold ribbons. There was a pretty lettered sign on the front that my Mother had made which read, “The greatest gift is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord”.

I knew that everyone’s Mommy’s and Daddy’s were the ones who really brought the Christmas gifts and a horse would cost a lot of money. No jolly, fat Santa Claus would give me my hearts desire and I wanted a real horse more than anything else in the world. What I did believe was that if I prayed every night and asked God for my very own horse that He would bring me one. God could do miracles and He didn’t even need money.

I needed to pray very hard and it would help if I could be very good. My Dad had sermons all the time about how God wants for us to be good and to always love each other no matter what. It seemed like I was already doing my best but it is hard to be very good all the time, especially when you are only five years old.

I had two brothers and two sisters and I was sure God could see they were not always easy to get along with. We did not have a lot of toys and I was not as good at sharing, as I should have been. Daddy told us God forgives us though and I knew that would help me a lot. Every night without fail I prayed and I never doubted for a second that He would send me a horse. I didn’t care what color it was or how big or small, just so long as it was a real horse and it could be all mine.

During the day I pretended I had a horse and spent hours galloping and trotting everywhere. My stick horse was a strip of wood that I had tied with a piece of rope for a bridle and reins. Who would want to ride one of those silly store bought stick horses with the plastic heads and yarn for manes I wondered? I rode my faithful little stick horse and we jumped the rose bushes in the back yard and grazed in our neighbor Mrs. Burkes’ flower garden. I even made him little bales of hay from our grass clippings. God please bring my real horse soon!
We had a nice big garage for his barn and I thought our backyard would be the perfect place for my horse to live. Then my Dad wouldn’t have to mow the lawn anymore and that would save him a lot of time! I asked Daddy about that and his eyes got all twinkly and he looked at me with his gentle smile and gave me a hug. I didn’t tell him about my prayer though. Instead I held his hand and we sat on the steps together and I smelled his good smell of talcum powder and peppermints and thought how much I loved him. He was so good all the time. If I could be like Daddy I was sure God would have sent me two horses by now. I leaned over and kissed my Daddy and then we sat quiet and still together and we watched the sun go down.

After a long time my horse had still not come. I decided that since Daddy said God answered prayers then it must be that I was doing something wrong. I prayed harder and longer and tried as much as I could to be really extra good all the time. I promised Him that I would take good care of my horse. I would brush him and feed him and clean up after him. I would even let my brothers and sisters ride him sometimes when they were nice to me.

Finally I was six and I had to start going to school. I wanted to ride my stick horse and gallop the several blocks to school because I was getting very fast. I could make good neighing sounds too and we could jump all the sidewalk cracks without ever touching one. I asked my Mother if I could take him to school but she said no. She smiled and laughed a little bit and then she showed me a special place underneath our kitchen window where I could tie him while I was gone.

She said she would watch him till I got home from school and if he got thirsty she would give him a drink. I knew that everyday she washed our dishes there in the kitchen and she always sang so pretty as she lifted things out of the soapy water. It would be a good place for him and he wouldn’t be lonely. I was sure of that because it always made me feel really happy when I was out playing and I could hear her singing.

So off I went to school and when I got home I pretended to give him a sugar lump. I told him I missed him and petted his splintery wooden neck. I could almost feel a soft velvet muzzle pick the sugar gently from my hand and a real mane that was soft under my fingers. I took off his rope bridle and let him run free and imagined the sound of galloping feet. Are you sending the real horse soon God?

Finally I began to despair. I would never be good enough for God to send my horse. I thought endlessly about my prayer. Maybe I was saying it all wrong. It was probably too long now and maybe He didn’t have time to listen. I knew I was still being selfish about not sharing the horse. I couldn’t help it though because I wanted so badly for him to be only mine.
My Daddy said God answers prayer though and he knew everything! So I kept on praying for my very own horse and finally the morning of the “miracle” came.
I woke with an instant alertness because I knew that sound. It was a soft whinny just outside my window. I ran to look out and there in my very own back yard stood a beautiful white horse. I rubbed my eyes hard and looked again and he was still there. My horse! God had finally sent him!

It was barely dawn and the grass was still wet and ice cold with dew. With my feet bare, I ran with delight and joy to catch my answered prayer. I startled him and his head came up in a frosted cloud of breath. He danced several steps sideways in alarm and then watched me as I slid in the grass to a stop in front of him. I could barely think what to do. I had no halter or rope so we just stood eye to eye and looked at one another. He blew softly into my hair and then dropped his head again to graze. I had to get my Dad. He would know what to do with my miracle. I backed away slowly and held my hand to my heart. My horse from God!

“Please Daddy get up and help me.” I begged. “My horse from God is here.”

Daddy was very confused and his hair kind of stood up on end but he got dressed anyway. As we walked outside I tried to explain about how I had prayed every night and God had finally sent me this beautiful white horse.

“ I’m sorry Becky but I think this horse must belong to the farm down the road.” We’d better call the Baughman’s and let them know he’s here.” Daddy told me gently. “ He must have gotten loose in the night and wandered into the yard.”

I was devastated. “No Daddy you don’t understand.” I said. “I prayed and prayed and God sent him. He’s a miracle. I‘ve been praying for the longest time Daddy.”

“I’m sorry but we have to take him back home, baby girl. He doesn’t belong to us.” My Dad’s voice was soft and he held me while I cried and cried.

“Oh, please Daddy” I tried one last time.

He looked away and cleared his throat and then we sat on the back steps. I thought a long time as I watched the white horse. Then I put my hand in his and asked, “Daddy could you ask God for my horse? You are always so good and He would give you anything you wanted, wouldn’t He?”

Daddy smiled and hugged me up tight up against him. “ I ask God everyday to bring us the things we need and He answers my prayers every single day. We have plenty of food to eat and warm beds to sleep in and we all love each other.”

He kissed the top of my head. “ I know it’s hard to understand but don’t stop praying, baby girl.” I liked when my Daddy called me that. I was the youngest of us three girls and then came my baby brother Paul. I wasn’t the baby anymore but I was still the baby girl.
“Always remember that God loves you even when he doesn’t bring the things you ask for. God knows what we need even more than we do.”

I looked up because Daddy’s voice sounded kind of funny. He took off the blue handkerchief that he always kept tied around his neck. He blew his nose and wiped at his eyes and I could see he felt sad too.

Then I smiled up at him because I had thought of something I had not ever thought of before. It seemed like a big thought. Not like babies think or the kind you have before you are old enough to be going to school. I knew I didn’t ever want my Daddy to be sad because of me. He was the very best Daddy anyone ever had.

“It’s okay,” I said as I patted his knee. “Maybe I will get a real horse someday but God already brought me the best Daddy and I never even had to ask.”