"Where to Begin"

"Where to Begin"

Where to begin
Where do I start
I have been a captive since the day we were set apart

Held at your mercy
At your beck and call
Flying me straight towards the heavens
But then,
Allowing me to fall

The promises that went unkept
The endless nights in which I wept
The emptiness that infiltrated my soul and left me at a loss

A loss that I can not come back from
A loss that grows with each passing day
Praying for the words that I hope to hear you say

Not that you’re sorry
Not that you were so wrong
But that the love was there in your heart,
All along
Guiding you and making you strong

That the glass was not half empty, but half full
That the distance made you see that you were a fool
A fool that left behind everything you claimed was dear
That the mistakes you made have allowed you to now see clear

To all that there was,
All that there is
And all that there can be

But that is marred by thoughtless actions
Careless words drip from your lips,
Like salt that rushes over a raw wound
A wound that is my heart

A heart that was blackened and quite near death
A heart that you brought back to life
Brought back by your very breath

Your smile, your touch, the things that are you
Are what I have held and what has brought me through
Through the misery and the strife
Through my existence which I can barely call a life

I can cry
I can scream
I can feel my heart break time and time again
When will it ever end?

When will it be enough
Will it be when I am beaten down and a shell of who I once was?
Will it be when I have one foot in the grave?
Or will it be when we can still make it right
And keep the promises and forever wipe away the tears and the long lonely nights

Or shall we stay on this destructive path
A path in which no one wins
We both lose

Lose all the good that there was to be had
All the happiness desecrated by the bad
The love, the faith, the bond that has been tied so tight
Watching it all fade away
Fade away into the night

For if that is what you wish
Let those words now leave your lips
Whisper in my ear,
That you no longer hold me dear

Look in my eyes
And tell me that it no longer hurts you to see me cry
That you want me on my way
That when I leave, to you it will be just another day

A day that goes on in which you feel no remorse
A day you turn your back on me
On us
And set out upon a new course

For if that happens
I shall hang my head in shame
And not let you see the disappointment in my heart
I shall hide my eyes as to not see you as we once again are set apart