Cancerby Abhijit Dasgupta

CANCER





By Abhijit Dasgupta

+++++++++++++++



"Then die!" Suparna had blazed out of the room. Uddalok didn't even stir as the door shut with a heavy thud.
******************************************

At first, Suparna could not believe that this was the same Uddalok she used to know in college. "I have cancer, Suparna. It's just a matter of months. The liver…it's wasting away," he said, slowly, deliberately, making the pain come out through his words. He had a stubble and as he lay on the bed, Suparna asked, "How are you managing things…medicines…meals…the rest. Don't you have a help?"

"No. I manage. Anyway, I don't have the money for medicines. I have been to the doctor only twice. When I learnt about the cancer, I just let things drift…What's the point? I eat when I can and sit on that chair on the balcony waiting for death. It doesn't bother me. Not as long as the pain becomes crippling. Then there would be only one way out. Suicide. I am prepared for that too," Uddalok said without emotion.

Suparna felt like letting the tears go but she persuaded herself not to cry in front of the man who had loved her since she was in college and even attended her wedding, doing all the chores that are expected from a best friend.

Both of them knew that there was much, much more in the friendship than just trust, loyalty and dependence. There was love. It burnt like an active volcano inside Uddalok while Suparna's was restrained, giving only that much that was required from a dear friend. Uddalok never demanded more; he knew he wouldn't get any more.

Suparna kept her distance from Uddalok only for one reason: she was madly in love with Subhajit, her classmate, whom she was to marry later. Otherwise, as Suparna later reasoned to herself, there was nothing that could have stopped her from tying the knot with Uddalok. The guy had everything going for him.

It was just that Subhajit was better. More sobre, kinder and definitely, more generous.

" You have never kept a single word of mine. Now that we meet after so many years and in these circumstances, can I ask you for one last favour? Promise you won't deny me that? I am a dying man and I have a request. Don't say no, Suparna. Na bolo na. I won't be able to take a rejection now."

Suparna thought for a moment, adjusting her glasses in the moist, humid heat of the small room. What could Uddalok want? What was there for her to give? She tried to focus as the noise from the office-going traffic filtered up two floors to the room. It wasn't a very healthy atmosphere to be in, she thought.

But she still loved Uddalok, a friendly love which had suddenly been rekindled in a strange fashion after she had heard that the man had cancer and would be dead in a couple of months. They had had great times with Uddalok at one time.

"What's your request? Boley phelo. Tell me…But I can't promise without hearing what you have in mind," she said, looking away from the man lying on the bed.

" I want to make love to you. Today. Now. Right now. Ekkhuni. Tumi na bolle ami morey jabo. I will die at your feet if you say no."

Suparna was first stunned, then surprised and, finally, disgusted. " You are crazy. I had heard cancer kills, didn't know it makes people mad too. How dare you say such a thing, Uddalok? How can you even make such a request? You haven't changed, Uddalok. You still are the same selfish man I always knew you were. But how, how on earth could you imagine that I would say yes? ?" Suparna's eyes were burning, a lot of it in anger but some of it with pure embarrassment.

Uddalok spoke silently. " Because I am convinced that you still love me."

Suparna sprang up like a goddess in anger. "Then you are wrong. I was never in love with you. I have always treated you as a friend. If you have not been clever enough to understand, it's your funeral." And then, she became cruel. " Anyway, that's not too far."

Uddalok suddenly seemed to turn into a corpse. He turned towards the fall, not facing Suparna any longer.

"Ekbar, just ekbar. Once, Suparna," Uddalok said feebly, still not facing her. "Before I die."

" Then die!" Suparna blazed out of the room, not looking back for a second.

************************************

Uddalok had always been the undisputed gang leader, the mastaan who always as if he owned the world. He had many female admirers, most of whom he ignored while he had countless rivals for whom he only had contempt. He was a chain-smoker and there were rumours in the college canteen that the smart, six-footer Uddalok had once challenged a friend that he would light up in class, a feat which he achieved without the lecturer realising what was happening behind his back. Literally, that is, because the smart guy had done his deed when the older man was writing on the blackboard and stubbed out the just-lit cigarette in a matter of seconds. He won the bet anyway though there were fights over whether lighting up and stubbing the cigarette immediately was part of the deal. Most of the girls in class supported Uddalok. Smart, handsome guys could be crooked and devious but they always had the women behind them in college. On top of that, Uddalok was a trained actor. He regularly played the hero at college functions.

This was a decade and half ago. Apart from the countless others, Uddalok worshipped himself as if he was his own god. The rest of the world meant little to him. Suparna liked and bonded with him but ignored him whenever she felt the need to do so. Uddalok, on his part, was madly in love. If there was one woman in the world he could die for, it was Suparna. She knew that. Whenever she talked to Uddalok, she made it apparent as to who was the boss.

Surprisingly, Uddalok never ever cold-shouldered Subhajit. They were not the best of friends but the relationship had always remained cordial.

Somehow, Suparna was always slightly confused and circumspect about the two men in her life sharing a cigarette together. It made her feel uneasy though she did not have an answer as to why.

Uddalok had never even touched her, not on any pretext ever.

***********************************

They had lost contact after college but Suparna and Subhajit both made it a point to visit Uddalok at his home at Hatibagan in old North Calcutta to invite him for their wedding. That was almost five years after they had graduated and not met even once, all three of them busy furthering their careers. Subhajit had landed a lecturer's job and was now absorbed in his Shelley, Tennyson and Wordsworth. He was rising and he gave everything to his career, slogging both at home with tuitions while attending every class with the same seriousness as if that was his first one.

Suparna was unambitous; her only thoughts lay with Subhajit's success. She was herself a good student and after much persuasion by Subhajit had taken up a school teacher's job in a renowned Montessori school. She was happy with children and the kids worshipped her.

The stage was set for marriage.

Uddalok bounded out of his ground floor room as he saw Suparna and Subhajit at the gate.

"Arrey, tora? You guys? Ah! I know…It's been five years… Kotodin pore toder dekhlam…Long time Where's the invitation card? Come, come inside. Let's have some tea."

After some small talk, they left, with Suparna handing over Uddalok their new address. Subhajit had already bought an apartment on the Bypass. Both of them had done up the house; it was a pretty picture. Uddalok said that he would be there at the wedding.

In the event, he started visiting Suparna's house from the very next day and, in a matter of days, made himself so indispensable that not a single major decision was made by the family without consulting him. Suparna did not quite like this and told her father as much.

"Ah, Buri! You fuss over everything. He doesn't have a job. You were college friends. If he wants to do this much for you, what's the problem? He means well, let me tell you," he father had reprimanded her. Suparna let it be, keeping quiet but an uneasiness lurked deep inside her which she tucked away.

Uddalok was almost the host at the wedding. The family was later to confide in private gatherings that the marriage would not have gone off so smoothly had it not been for this bohemian young, handsome man with a stubble.

A relative_ there is bound to be at least one such presence at all Indian weddings_ even ventured to ask Suparna's mother whether she thought Uddalok was a better candidate for her daughter's hand than Subhajit.

Suparna's mother had looked the other way and said, with some sense of remorse, " Ki korbo? What could I have done? It was Buri's choice. And anyway, Uddalok doesn't have a job." Then, switching topic, she said, " When are you visiting Subhajit's new apartment? They have everything there. The works. My son-in-law has been a good choice." The relative would smirk and move away.

After that, it had been a decade. Suparna suddenly met Uddalok at Ballygunge near her school, of which she was now principal, absolutely by accident but not without its inherent sense of drama that had always been Uddalok's calling card.

As their eyes met, both of them forgot that they were now pushing 40.

*****************************************

Suparna's car had conked out that morning and she had been forced to take a cab to school. Subhajit had offered to drop her but she had refused saying that she was already late. After school hours, which was around 5 in the evening, she ambled out of the gate, sure that there would be a cab waiting somewhere on the main road.

Suddenly, she noticed a cab screech to a halt in front of her. She looked through the front window and told the driver of her destination. Before the driver could even respond, a strong, male hand opened the rear door and was on the seat in an instant. An indignant Suparna didn't even look inside and curtly told the driver, " Onake namte bolun. Ami agey dhorechi . Ask him to get out, I got you first."

There's was a moment's silence as the driver tried to salvage the situation by looking back and telling the man , " Sir, please. She called me first."

Uddalok's gentle voice gave the answer in typically his style, "Don't worry, Driver ji. She will come with me."

Suparna faintly recognized the voice, and then she looked in, sharply exclaiming, " Tumi? My God, the last person I expected was you. Where are you going?'

" Home, Tumi? You going home? You still work in this school?"

" I am the principal,'she sounded proud. " Anyway, you go. I will get another cab. Hope you are well. Drop in sometime. Subhajit will love that."

"And you…?" He left it hanging, definitely deliberately.

" Of course, I will love it too. Drop in any time."

" You get in first. I will drop you home. Goppo kora jabe. We can talk in the meantime."

Suparna was only too willing. It would have been a pain to get a cab now. Also, she was meeting Uddalok after ages and she too wanted to talk.

The spark had suddenly come alive again.

******************************************

They talked and they talked. Old times, middle times and present times. It was a long journey and with the traffic snarl-ups holding back their cab every fifteen minutes, they had time on their hands.

" You have become thinner. You unwell or something?"Suparna asked with concern.

Uddalok shrugged. " Jani na. Majehe majhe mathata ghorey. The head reels, could be blood pressure. Otherwise, I am fine."

" Why didn't you get married?"

" Because you married Subhajit," Uddalok let out one of his huge laughs. Suparna joined in too.The man hadn't changed one bit.

" There's still time. We are 38, aren't we?"

" Never counted, should be. I don't think marriage will suit me, not without you." Suparna suddenly felt a chill down her spine as Uddalok's voice turned slightly serious, for the the first time since they had met.

After exchanging numbers and addresses. Suparna got down. She asked Uddalok upstairs but he had a tuition to go to after home and left. Suparna noticed_she always noticed these small things_ that Uddalok didn't even look back once after the cab had reversed gear.

Uddalok had now shifted to a one-roomed apartment selling of his ancestral house which was difficult to maintain with the upkeep costs being too high for him to afford. He now lived in Beckbagan off Park Circus and spent most of his time gallivanting on the streets of Calcutta and taking tuitions for a living. The rst of the time, his single-room apartment was always full of friends and cigarettes, a few bottles of whiskey making forays once in a while. Uddalok lived a life of a bohemian, which his friends often told him, reminded them of the stories that they had heard of the Calcutta of the Sixties and early Seventies.

Uddalok merely laughed. "If I had been born a century ago, I would have still been the same, " he said. He still did a lot of reading but his handsome features had taken a beating, though the charisma of his youth still returned in flashes which earned him admirers even now.

But he kept off women.

Today, after meeting Suparna, he suddenly felt lighter, happier. The mist in his head was clearing; he wanted to do somersaults on the streets. The blood pressure, if indeed it was that, was not bothering him now. He bought a half bottle of whiskey and went home. He would miss his tuitions that evening.

Dead drunk, around 11 in the evening, he called up Suparna. She picked up the phone.

He was slurring.

" I am drunk. Just because of you…no.no.no.I don't drink, Suparna. Only today. Just because of you. Only today. I want to see you now. Please come to me. I am not drunk. You come. Pleeease. I am feeling so lonely. Ten years, I hadn't met you for ten years. I must meet you know. Erom koro na, Suparna. Chole esho, please. Do come. Now…" He kept on repeating himself.

Suparna, the little that she knew of drunkenness, disconnected. It was useless talking to someone who wasn't in his senses. The phone rang again. She kept it off the hook.

She would call to check Uddalok out in the morning.

Subhajit, who was preparing to turn in, called out. "Who was that?"

" Wrong number!" Suparna, removed her glasses, wiped them with her saree, and moved inside the bedroom. She was still a very beautiful woman.

*******************************

In the morning, it was Uddalok who called. He seemed nervous, ashamed and embarrassed. " Did I say anything wrong?" he queried.

" You have said wrong things for fifteen years. How does once more make any diference?" Suparna found herself laughing like college times.

" I am sorry. This will never happen again."

" It's okay. But what happened? Why did you have to drink? You have got high pressure, you shouldn't drink so much."

" I don't drink…Yesterday…I don't know what came over me."

" Beshi phurti hoyechilo. You were on top of the world." Suparana was still laughing.

For the first time, Uddalok let out a sound which resembled a laugh. "Will you come home today? I need to talk to you."

" Not today, but I will. I will call you before I go."

" Make it fast. There may not be too much time left."

" Why? You got a job outside Calcutta?"

" Nah! Not a job. Esho. Bolbo. I will tell you when you come. But fast, Suparna, fast. I don't have time left."

" Don't talk in riddles. Okay, I will come. I will call you anyway."

Uddalok hung up.

For a while, Suparna stood beside the phone wondering what Uddalok had meant by saying he little time left.

Subhajit called out. " Who's that?"

" Wrong number!" Suparna replied without hesitation.

" Jani na baba tomar byaparshyapar. Never quite understood your ways. This is the first time I have heard someone talk for ten minutes to an unknown guy. Was the voice like that of Amitabh Bachchan?' Subhajit went back to his newspaper after laughing heartily.

Suparna joined in, but not with mirth.

****************************************************

It was three weeks later that Suparna found time to go to Uddalok's place. There were test papers to be examined, Subhajit had been down with a strange, unknown fever for almost a week and refused to allow her to go work like a child, and, uppermost, Suparna somehow felt a trifle uncomfortable going to Uddalok's place. She did not know why though she asked herself this question many times over. At least on one occasion, she had even prepared to go to Uddalok's place, then rejecting the idea at the moment because she felt uncomfortable at the last minute.

She had not mentioned meeting Uddalok to Subhajit. Again, why, didn't have an answer to. They could have both gone but no, she wanted to go alone. She did not hide this from herself. She wanted to meet Uddalok alone.

In the meantime, Uddalok had not called even once, wounding Suparna's pride perhaps.

But that morning, she called Uddalok and said that she would be there in the evening. Subhajit's fever had gone and he was attending college, she had finished correcting her exam papers and that morning, she decided to go. This was being rude to an old friend, she told herself.

Uddalok sounded mellow. "Come, I will be home," he said.

******************************

"Then die!" Suparna had blazed out of the room. She was in a daze, her head swirling as she thought of what had happened, at Uddalok's devious audacity and finally, because of her own gullibility. Obviously, the man hadn't changed one bit and was only using his disease to get something which he had always desired but never got. And never would, Suparna gritted her teeth as she got into her car.

She drove back home only to find Subhajit lying on the bed. This was not the time that her husband was usually home. But Uddalok had driven out common sense from her head for some time now and she dropped herself into the nearest sofa, her thoughts going back to Uddalok's request: " Just ekbar, Suparna. Just once." She stood up, unmindful of her husband who was lying with a pillow on his face, covering his eyes from the lights as it were, and stormed into the bathroom.

As she stood naked before the full-length mirror, Suparna looked at herself. She was 5 foot 4 inches tall, very tall by Indian standards, and her face still retained some of the innocence of the years gone by. Her nose was somewhat of an aberration in an otherwise well-etched lovely face, it seemed to curl upwards at the end giving her a snooty look which put off many people who had not had the privilege of knowing her well enough. She was dark, her breasts were still ample with large nipples, slightly sloping on either sides, the effect of both age as well as natural gravity. She had a small belly, the navel placed slightly higher than is usual in most females and her vaginal hair resembled almost a small bush.

Subhajit continuously teased her about that. "Junglee! " he told her whenever they made love. "You must have come straight from the jungles…I wonder where all that hair comes from. Shala, ekta choto jungle. A small jungle you have there…" In return, Suparna would bite him hard in his underbelly, just above his genitals and he would scream in pain.

Their love-making was always noisy. Suparna sometimes thanked God that she was childless.

Suparna again measured herself in the mirror. She had a good enough figure to match even 30-year-olds now and she stifled a proud laugh when she thought how her previous principal had praised her publicly in the staff room, which had the other women colleagues squirming, and Suparna smiling.

Suparna realised, even as she continued to look at herself in the mirror, that she still looked every inch a very proud woman.

That pride had been badly bruised today.

Suparna let the shower take over. She needed to cool down.

*************************************

In the night, Suparna tossed and turned while Subhajit slept soundly. He had had a terrible headache and Suparna had given him some sleeping tablets. He was snoring.

As the night progressed, Suparna realised she would not get any sleep. Uddalok came revisiting her everytime she tought that she had fallen asleep. Finally, at the crack of dawn, she did fall asleep. When she woke up a couple of hours later with a heavy head and swollen eyes, she remembered that she had had a dream. In the dream, she had gone back to school and they, school friends all, had gone together for a film. The film was Anand, in which Rajesh Khanna played a cancer patient. The film had not left a single eye dry after every screening throughout India . That was way back when she was in senior school. Suparna wondered why she had suddenly dreamt of Anand.

The answer didn't take long to find out.

The phone rang. It was Uddalok.

" Rege acho? Angry?" Uddalok sounded meek and apologetic.

Suparna disconnected.

The phone rang again. This time, persistently. Suparna moved around the room trying to ignore the monotonous drone of the phone and finally found herself saying, "Hello?"

" Mam, this is Cutts, the butcher…" Uddalok was laughing feebly.

Suparna couldn't help but smile as she remembered how they used to tease her in college when she read Tintin comic books in the common room. Uddalok, whenever he saw her reading Tintin, used to act it out perfectly, as if phone in hand, and say grimly, "Mam, this is Cutts the butcher." The entire common room would burst into laughter and Suparna had to tuck away Tintin for home. There was such innocent fun those days.

The way he had said it now, it seemed like college had been yesterday. However, she couldn't get over what he had also told her the other day.

"Uddalok, don't call me ever again." He voice was tough and stern.

"Why did you take the call then?" Did she discern a mocking tone in his voice? No, she assured herself, he was in no state to do that now.

"You would have kept on calling. And that is disturbing."

"No, Suparna. You took the call because you wanted to talk to me. Be honest to yourself."

Suparna banged down the phone. She felt let down by herself.

******************************

A month passed and life had returned to its own boring normalcy. College, home, college. Uddalok returned at times in her thoughts but she brushed them away. Subhajit was having bouts of migraine and the doctor had advised him to get his eyes checked. Suparana had forced him to go to a homeopath and Subhajit reluctantly took the pills though they did not seem to help much. After some time, Suparna noticed that Subhajit had dropped the pills. Even his eyes were okay, there was no need to wear glasses. It was a migraine which, as everybody knew, had no cure. You had to bear it. Subhajit did precisely that though late into the nights, he would sometimes wake up Suparna and plead, " Suparna, aar parchi na. It's killing me. Will you massage the forehead for some time?"

Suparna did that without as much as him asking a second time and kept him on a diet of sleeping tablets every night. She had gone to the doctor herself. The medicine man had prescribed a small dosage of diazepam, which could do no damage.

Uddalok was far from her thoughts.

One day, on a bright summer afternoon, the phone rang. It was Suman, a college friend with whom she was in touch even though not too frequently.She was surprised. " What's happened? Tui, hotath? Anything wrong?" she asked.

Suman was now working as a software consultant and had a huge clientele. He was not the sort to waste time.

" Porna, Uddalok is dying. He refused hospital admission and things went out of hand. I have a request. In the state that he is…it's terrible…he has asked me to tell you that his last wish would be to see you once. Just once. Na bolish na, Suparna. Don't say no. That man is dying. After all, he was a friend at one time. And he loved you genuinely. Ja, ekbar ja. Meet him. It can't do you any harm." Suman was pleading.

Suparna heard him out and then tried to understand whether Suman knew what Uddalok had proposed to her during their last meeting. The tone in Suman's voice did not reveal much. It seemed an honest request to a friend from another. Suparna decided to keep quiet.

" Okay, let me see."

" Please. It could even be a couple of days away. Taratari jash, Porna. Visit him as early as you can." Suman disconnected.

Suparna thought for a while the dialed Uddalok's number. There was no harm in calling him anyway. The phone went on ringing. She disconnected, tried again. The phone kept away droning.

Suparna felt drained. She could feel small beads of sweat running across her cheek. What had happened? Had they forcibly taken him to a hospital? Wasn't he in any shape to take calls? Or, was he…was he…already dead?

Suparna changed fast. She drove like a woman possessed. After a long time, she confided in herself. Yes, she was in love with Uddalok too. She was not prepared to see him die.

***********************************************************
Uddalok was dressed to kill. As Suparna breezed into the room, she was shaken and somewhat stunned by what she saw. The cancer patient who the world knew would be dead in some time was looking fresh and smart. He had not shaved for some time now, but the radiance in his face was back. Uddalok was sitting cross-legged on the bed, a newspaper in his hands. He had just had a bath and was wearing a bright, blazing red shirt and spotlessly white pajamas.

He was smoking.

Suparna was shocked.

" Eki? You smoking? Suman called…he said things were bad…I rushed… Byaparta ki? You don't look sick…" She was taking deep breaths as she dropped herself on the bed beside Uddalok.

He let her get back her breath. She was looking at him with amazement.

" Tell me, Uddalok…What is the matter? Why did Suman call?"

" I asked him to."

"Why?"

" Because I am dying. Suparna, I am trying to make the most of my last days. The doctor has asked me not to smoke. I have not listened to him. What's the point in dying like all the others? I will, if I can, drink life to the lees till I am no more. The pain is taken care of by heavy dosage injections, I sleep most of the time, but today I had a gut feeling you would come…I dressed up, wore this shirt…I know you like red…and took out the pajamas from the cupboard after many months. And this is the second cigarette that I am having. I was getting impatient. Thank God, you came…"
He coughed a little and seemed to give in to the energy he had just spent talking. The cough continued; suddenly, Uddalok reeled and fell on the bed, his head hitting the pillow, only just about avoiding a sharp blow against the bed rest.

He lay on his stomach and let out hiccups which seemed to Suparna as far cries from another world, the wrenching sounds indicating a pain which nobody but the sufferer understands. The pain of cancer.

Suparna came closer to Uddalok. " Koshto hocche? Is the pain unbearable? Want some water? Any medicines…painkillers? Shall I call the doctor?"

Uddalok turned towards her and locked her hands in both his palms. " Ki labh ? What's the point? I am now used to it. Don't worry, I will be okay. Just pass me that capsule on the table, please."

Suparna rushed to the table, poured some water from the jug to a tumbler and handed over the medicine to him. Uddalok finished the entire glass of water with the capsule.

" Offff!" He looked above at the ceiling. " Ar kotodin? How many more days, my lord? I can't take this any longer." Then he looked at Suparna.

"Will you help me to the bathroom?"

" Sure…Esho." He caught hold of her. He felt her softness against him and his muscles tightened. She moved him towards the bathroom. She found it strange that a man who was in the terminal stages of cancer could have muscles like steel.

"Hormones, must be" she assured herself, without the slightest inkling of what hormones meant. She had simply heard that hormones were prescribed for terminally ill patients.

*************************************

Uddalok came out of the bathroom, looking better, having splashed his face with cold water.

" Feeling better?" Suparna asked.

" Hmmm. Slightly. I would like to get some sleep. Ektu amar pashe bosho. Please sit beside me."

"Of course, I will. You try and get some sleep first."

Uddalok lay straight on the bed, his face wracked by pain which he tried not to show.

Suparna sat beside him. He closed his eyes, took her hands, and kissed them. She did not object. He would fall asleep anyway, she thought.

" Ghoom ashche na, Suparna. I can't sleep." As he broke the silence suddenly, Suparna took her hands away, keeping them folded on her lap.

" Can I put my head on your lap, Suparna? Please…??"

For a few moments, she kept quiet. Then she looked at his face. She could see a prayer there.

She didn't think for a moment and moved towards him, taking his head on his lap.

As the minutes passed, and silence took over, she did not make any attempt to resist. His hands went all over her, his tongue entered her mouth as if searching for life itself, and as he undressed, Suparna could see his muscles ripple.

They made love. As she removed her saree, she only thought of her husband for a fleeting moment. For the next half an hour, it was only Uddalok, Uddalok and more of Uddalok.

She did not feel guilty; she had just given in to a prayer.

As she wore her saree, she suddenly thought that she had traced a faint flavour of imported perfume in Uddalok's armpits.

Uddalok came out of the bathroom after a wash.

" Suparna," he had a smile as he lit up again. He had brushed his hair too. And now the perfume was all over in the room.

" Don't smoke again," she shrieked.

" Why shouldn't I smoke?"

"Don't be silly…you know why!" There was reprimand in her voice.

There was mockery in Uddalok's. " It's you who has been downright silly. I expected you to be cleverer, Mrs Suparna Ganguly. Every pride comes before a fall… mone achey?.. Remember, how you spurned me? Remember how you used to insult me when all the other girls were falling at my feet. That day, the day you walked away with Subhajit, I promised myself that I would not allow you to go unscathed. Silly woman, you were too proud for your own good."

Then, without mincing words, he said roughly. "Remember what a good actor I was in college? That finally has come to use, darling."
Suparna was too stunned to react. She felt the room go round and round. A searing pain ripped through her heart. What was this man saying?

"I did not ever have cancer, Mrs Ganguly. With your best wishes, I will live a hundred years. And now, you may go back to your loving husband. By the way, please call Suman and thank him for me…I asked him to make that call. A good friend…that Suman…never lets me down."

Uddalok had not yet finished. "You enjoyed it too, didn't you? "

He lit up another cigarette. Uddalok had always been a chain smoker. "Where's the bloody bottle? I need to celebrate. This one has been the best in a long time," were the last mocking words she heard before she left the room in a daze.

******************************



Suparna went completely blank. The charade, the cheating, the diabolical drama to which she had been drawn like a small bird crashing into the windscreen of a high-flying airplane had left her sapped of energy, intelligence and confidence. Worse, she had not anticipated such evil.

She entered the sitting room, her hair tousled, her saree crumpled, her face a picture of desolation. The pain crept from her chest to the head. This was not a headache borne of migraine, this was simple helplessness casting its shadow on her body. The heart had given way, it was now time for the body to slip on soft ground.

Subhajit was sitting on the sofa, his head cradled in his two palms, a sheaf of papers lying in front of him. He looked up at Suparna.

" Edike esho. Come here," Subhajit seemed to whisper. There was no strength in his voice.

Suparna walked as if in a trance towards him.

" Look at this. Three months. That's what they have given me," his voice lapsed into a child-like whimpering cry.

Suparna did not even look at the papers he had handed her. She only mumbled, " Ki? What's it?"

Subhajit almost slumped in the sofa. "I kept it away from you all these days. I thought that everything would be okay. It's not. Dr Sanyal gave his final report to me today. I have three months to live."

Every word bounced off Suparna.

" Suparna, I have brain cancer."

Strangely, Suparna sat rooted to her sofa. After what seemed like decades to Subhajit, she spoke: " Tumio? You too?"

Then she stood up, walked straight to her husband and slapped him across the face, a stinging one which made his cheek bleed from the impact of her engagement ring made of gold.

Subhajit, weak and in despair, fell down on the ground. She didn't even look at him.

Without a word, she strode back to the sofa where she had earlier been sitting. She loosened her hair, threw her head back over the backrest, and then Suparna Ganguly started laughing, a coarse and heavy laughter which was not normal.

Her laughter did not stop for the next ten minutes. The she walked up to her husband.

"You too? Cancer, cancer…" she whispered in Subhajit's ears.

The whisper grew into a groan and then she lurched forward, fell in a heap across her husband, grasping her chest in a last-ditch attempt to gain air. Her face had the contortions of a stricken, painful death.

Suparna Ganguly had died of a massive heart attack.

Cancer had killed.


THE END