Boredom

3:15 PM
Chicken or fish. Chicken or fish.
Which one, which one, Fish or chicken? Chicken or
fish? If I were stranded on a desert island
with a chicken coop at one end
and a koi pond at the other
which would it be?
Chicken, maybe
no, definitely fish
or chicken today and
fish tomorrow
or fish today and
chicken tomorrow
or both of them today
or a little bit of chicken
and a whole lot of fish
or a whole lot of fish
and a little bit of
peanut butter.


3:22 PM
Someone should make a clothes dryer
that’ll only eat
even quantities of socks
so no matter how many you lose
you never have any leftover
as long as you’re not one of those
slaves to fashion
that gives a fuck
whether their socks match

3:26 PM
Your mom
invented the internet

3:29 PM
No matter how much a cat eats
you still can’t claim it as a dependent
on your income taxes
even though cat food is expensive
and kitties are cute and cuddly
and stuff
But if you have an infant
whose face bears the traditional prunish
wrinkles of recent emergence
and sort of looks like
Mickey Rooney sans teeth
you can claim him as a dependent
even though he isn’t cute and cuddly
and pretty much
eats for free

3:31 PM
I can believe it’s not
butter.

3:32 PM
What if Elton John
is really just a
heterosexual man, who
for the last decade
or so
has been unable to locate
his other earring

3:33 PM

3:34 PM
cricket cricket
grasshopper
cricket cricket
grasshopper
cricket cricket
damn
beetles again

3:34 PM

3:35 PM
You would think that
eventually
testosterone would get the better
of men
and cause them to run outside
and piss on everything
they own

3:35 PM

3:35 PM
Eeny meeny miny
chicken

3:35 PM

3:35 PM
30 seconds. 29. 28. 27...

3:35 PM
20. 19. 18...

3:35 PM
Fifteen. Fourteen
Thirteen. Fuck it.
I’m going to go
worship the devil
or something

3:36 PM