The 300 Game

Jack is an average bowler in search of something to improve his bowling game. So tonight after work he has decided to go the pro shop that has just opened up down the from the bowling alley. His work day is over and he starts to walk down the street to the shop. It is Friday and he's feeling pretty good so as he walks he is whistling an upbeat song. This song carries him to his destination a little quicker. Up ahead on the left he can see the huge bowling pin hanging up with the stores name on it. It reads "Peter's Pro Shop".

He walks up to the store front and looks in the window. He sees bowling balls, shoes, towels, and trophies. He rubs the palms of his hands together in anticipation of walking into the store and seeing every thing else he may need to improve his game. He walks up to the door and walks in. He sniffs the air and he recognizes the smell of new leather and carpet cleaner. He walks up to the man at the counter and the man looks up from his phone conversation and signals to Jack with a lifted finger, "Hold on". Jack nods his head and begins to peruse the rack with all the bowling balls.

He sees blue, green, red balls, some that sparkle and some that don't. He also notices that they come in different weights. He picks up the dark blue one that sparkles as the lights reflect off of it. It feels a little light to him so he puts it back and grabs a new one. This one is a flat green in color and this still feels a little light so this time he looks at the tag and notices that he has a fourteen pound ball. At the bowling alley he always uses a 16 pounder. So he looks on the rack for one that weighs 16 pounds and he finds another blue one this time and this one also sparkles like the eyes of the pretty blonde at the bowling alley. Oops now where was I, oh yes. He had a blue 16 pound ball, sparkles, and...

"Hello, May I help you?", asked the clerk.

"Well" , said Jack, "I was kind of hoping of improving my bowling game."

The store clerk said, "Well then you've come to the right place. Not only can I improve your game but I can improve your look".

Jack was curious about how he looked could remotely be responsible for his lacking bowling scores. Any ways Jack went along with the clerk on a tour of the store. The clerk would stop at different parts of the store and telling Jack that he needed this and that to improve his game. After four complete laps around the inside of the store Jack held in his arms a new monogrammed bowling towel, a new pair of slip resistant bowling shoes, a wrist support, a rosin bag and a new bowling bag.

"I suppose you are wondering my friend when we are going to look at bowling balls?" said the store clerk, "Let me tell you my friend of the deal I have for you."

"This ball is so special that it is one of a kind, and stay right here while I go get it."

The store clerk walks into the back room. In the background Jack hears groans and grunts like someone is moving something heavy and then putting it back down. After about five minutes of these noises he hears squeaky metal wheels being rolled on a cement floor and then he sees the store clerk with a wheeled display stand. The stand is about 3 feet tall and is painted in a gray and white marble pattern. There is a sign on the back of the cart that reads, "Put a little beast in your game!!!". On the top shelf of this cart was this gray and white ball. The colors of this ball closely resembled cement mix mixed with marshmallows.

Jack took a look at the ball and the display and he rubbed his palms together and raised his eyebrow. He was excited about this ball. Then he was horrified when he discovered that this ball; the ball he now desperately wanted, had three holes already drilled into it. Jack had always had a hard time finding a house ball that would fit his hand so he knew that there was no way that this ball was going to fit his hand to his liking. He reached out his hands any ways and decided to place his fingers in the ball to see how it felt. He grabbed the ball with both hands then cradled it in his left hand while he tried to put his right thumb, middle finger and ring fingers into the ball. After getting his ring finger into the third hole of the ball Jack realized that this ball wasn't drilled for him.

Then the strangest thing happened, Jack thought he felt movement on the ball. The ball itself wasn't moving but it still a moving sensation and to his surprise the ball felt like it was drilled for him. He took his fingers out of the ball and stared at the it and then his hand. Nothing looked different. He put his thumb and fingers back into the ball and they still fit.

Inside, Jack he was jumping for joy because he was about to be outfitted with the finest bowling equipment that a part time job could buy. He walked up to the check out counter and watched as the clerk rang up his purchases. The clerk gave him the total and he walked out of the shop.

Jack began to whistle again only this time he wasn't thinking of the song he was whistling. He was thinking about what a ball like the one he just bought could do for his game. He envisioned his bowling team picking him up and carrying him around the bowling alley after winning the championship. He envisioned being kissed by the beautiful blonde at the bowling alley... Oops that's another story altogether.

He walked into the bowling alley, looked at the schedule that hung on the bulletin board as you walk in the door, to see what lane him and his teammates would be bowling in. His team, The Struggling Splits" tonight were playing "Pins-R-Us" the number one team in the league. They were playing in lane 15 in the middle of the alley. His friends were there and they greeted him with the usual hello's and such until they seen his bowling bag.

"Hey!!" said Jimmy, "What gives...did you rob a bank?"

"Does this mean Jack that you actually came to bowl tonight?" said Chuck.

"No", Jack said, "I didn't rob a bank and yes I am here to bowl. I see the lanes are open for practice so why don't the three of you get to it while I get ready."

"Ok!!", said Sam, "but who woke up on the wrong side of the bed today?"

His friends were bowling there practice frames as Jack slowly and meticulously laced up his new bowling shoes before putting them on his feet and tying them. Then he took out his bowling towel out of the bag and placed it in his left hand while reaching for the ball. He brought it out and took the towel to it and wiped it off until it looked shiny. He spun the ball around in his hands and he looked at the marbling on his ball to see if he could make out designs in the splotches of gray and white. He got the weirdest sensation when he looked at the markings around the finger holes...He could have sworn that they looked like eyes and a mouth.

"Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen", said a voice on the public announcing system, "welcome to league night. Tonight's bowling will now begin so first bowlers get ready."

Jack puts his ball in the channel in the ball return and takes a seat because he bowls last on his team. Jimmy gets up and bowls a strike. Then Chuck bowls a strike and so does Sam. The other team so far has matched "the Struggling Splits" pin for pin. The fourth bowler on "Pins-R-Us" stands up and throws his jet black ball into the gutter and on his second attempt was only able to knock down four pins.

Somewhere out of the blue Jack puts on an air of arrogance and strolls up to the ball return and with his bowling towel in hand picks up his ball and spins his ball into the towel to wipe off any moisture or dust that might've accumulated in four minutes time. He puts the ball in his left hand and he puts the towel down on his seat and steps up to the line. He's concentrating on where his feet are, the way the ball feels in his hand, his stance. When he feels that everything is perfect he takes a deep breath and starts to charge forward...one...two...three...slide and throw the ball...follow through with hand.

The ball is rolling down the lane, it has a beautiful spin on it, it's curving into the pocket. Pins go crashing and then there were none...STRIKE. For the first time that any of them can remember they were leading after the first frame. The first place team actually were silenced because they were already in the hole from a team that they should be able to beat with their eyes closed.

The second frame brought even more good news to the Struggling Splits because they were able to build upon their lead with another series of strikes and a bad break on Pins-R-Us. Another missed spare and Jack had his strike streak increased to two. Jack's team now lead by eight pins and they knew that maybe this was going to be the start of something.

Third frame greeted the opponent's team with four strikes and Jack's team had two strikes and a spare...but It was Jack's turn to bowl. He stood at the ball carrier and followed through with the same routine. Eyes on the lane and not the pins, slide and follow through and...STRIKE. Jack had three strikes in a row. Jack had never bowled three strikes in an entire game nevertheless in a row. The television screen began to flash with three X's then a pretty cartoon turkey. The lead stayed at eight.

In the fourth and fifth frames the Struggling Splits managed to add five pins to their lead and Jack still had his streak going...he now had five strikes. Jack began to sweat as he approached the ball return in the sixth frame because he wanted to continue what what he's been doing all along to keep his team in the running. He toweled off his forehead and then wiped his ball clean again. He looked down the lane and then looked at the arrows. He takes a deep breath and holds it. He slowly releases his breath as he walks down to the lane and fires the gray and white ball down the alley...STRIKE.
The screen now flashes 6 X's and two turkeys appear on the screen.

"Ted can you please come to the counter please?" said the voice on the intercom.

It is now the ninth frame and Jack's team has increased their lead to fifteen pins and Jack has eight strikes now. Jack is now sweating profusely, but the sweat soaked shirt was no deterrent for him to keep him from making his ninth strike. A small cheer erupts in the alley in praise of Jack's effort and the bowling begins to quite it down. People are beginning to leave their games in progress to watch Jack bowl.

The tenth frame was looming in the darkness for Jack. His team somehow managed to lose most of their lead. Jack's has continued his streak by bowling two more strikes. The bowling alley now becomes deathly quiet and people are beginning to hear a rather odd noise coming from the ball return but nobody really pays it any mind.

The bowling alley is quiet, and a rather large crowd has gathered around lane 15, they come to watch a person bowl a perfect game. Jack is nervous, and he is having trouble concentrating on what he needs to do to get the ball down the lane. He looks up from the ball return and sees all the people gathered around now. He bends over grabs his ball, wipes it off, puts his fingers in the ball. Stares at the arrows on the floor. He takes a deep breath and exhales. He takes another deep breath and exhales. Some one in the background sneezes and to Jack it sounded like a starting gun. He takes his one...two...three steps and slides forward bringing the ball back from behind his head...He misjudges the distance between his leg and the ball and he brushes his leg with the ball and then releases the ball straight for the gutter.

Some people brush it off and say "Oh! well"it would've been nice to see a 300 hundred game in my life time.

Others look through their fingers to actually see the ball go into the gutter, and others just walk away.

Jack on the other hand is devastated because he hit his leg causing the ball to go wide. Everyone hears the ball go into the gutter and nobody seen it come out of the gutter, but the ball did...It came out of that gutter in such a hurry that it looked natural for it to be able to bounce out of it. That then started to head straight for those pins. The pins were standing like soldiers at attention, oblivious to the dangers that awaits them.

At the very second before the ball, uhmm a monster, creature, alien, or whatever you'd call it sprouted arms and legs and crashed into the pins with open arms. It swept the pins in its arms and in less than a second he had eaten all ten pins. The noise of this sounded like a chain saw.

Jack, his teammates, and everyone else in the bowling alley were amazed at the recovery. Of course many people had already given up and were walking away. Some were including Jack were looking through gaps in their fingers that was hiding their face and they didn't believe it either. Everyone cheered and applauded and even the blonde with the sparkling eyes gave jack a kiss. Who knows maybe they could've been an item.

Well any ways it was a great day to take part in. History was made because the Struggling Splits broke all kinds of team records that day. Started off with a lead, keeping the lead, everyone bowled their best game, and yes they even won their first game. All of this happiness was short lived for Jack because the manager of the bowling alley walked up to Jack and handed him a thin piece of white paper with blue writing and it had columns on it. It looked like a bill of some sort. Then the manager looked at Jack and said, "Is this thing the thing you used as a ball?"

Jack looked at this thing, it had little arms and big hands, small little legs and feet. It's eyes were black and deep and his mouth was round and had plenty of teeth. What used to be Jack's ball was trying violently to break the grip of the manager.

"BEEP,BEEP", "BEEP,BEEP" sounded the alarm clock. Jack wakes up and sits up in bed, wipes his eyes and sees sitting in his chair a brand new bowling bag, which was torn to shreds and half a monogrammed towel. No ball was anywhere to be found.

I wrote this actual account of that day to warn you of the next mediocre bowler who bowls a 300 game. Check his ball, it might be a "Little Beast in his game".

THE END
Dec 2000