Do you know?

No one can hear me screaming if I don't let it out
do you, do you, do you know...
guess you couldn't if I've never aired it all out
in clarity, lucidity, away from the bottle that I hide in,
in sanity I have never told you a damn thing that mattered
not that any of this matters, I fell for a dream
amidst the chaos, yours was the smiling face that brought me back to myself
but now that I've woken, I can no longer look up and see the same sky
it's all grey, and I am like a watercolor
running from the picture but not fast enough for my heart
(it wasn't for you, I wasn't looking for you)
and where am I?
(I wasn't looking to be found)
Can anybody see me? Can anybody feel me?
I love this living thing, I love this seeing thing,
even these tragedies that walk down my face, curve down my cheek
and rest on my lips that should be smiling at you
(I used to make you smile)
do you, do you, do you know... just how far I'd go
for that illusion... to bring it with me to the morning pillow
for an explanation that didn't make me angry
And I'm fine, yes, I'm fine. I'm always fine, you know.
But what the hell does that really mean? I'm just living and breathing.
There is no real sense of peace in that, but who looks any further?
But... if I want to live this life, and love this life
and laugh and love and scream,
it's time, I think, though I don't know how, to give up on the dream.
After all... knowing you, is really only knowing me when you are gone.