Hauntingly lonely

You wanted to protect me,
safeguard me
from being hurt
and yet
I'm being torn apart
shattered
into millions
of fragments
broken
into a smithereen
of glass splinters
hurting
bleeding
drowning in my own tears
hiding behind hidden fears
vulnerable
empty
alone
thrown away
onto the rubbish dump of life
from where there seems to be
no return -
because of you



What is there to life
but being hurt -
hurting
crying
breaking ...
yet,
I love you -
though there seems to be nothing
left of life,
nothing
to live for ...



You
gave me
a new lease on life,
a reason to live ...
All I'm left with
is loneliness
and heartache
beyond my wildest dreams ...
most profound heartache
more fragile than a bubble of soap
blown away by the slightest breeze



Wish I could dance
one more dance with you,
hear you whisper my name
in the wind ...
before it gets blown away
goes astray
lost
within the nothingness
of life ...
wish I could be with you,
just one more time ...



I want to sleep
nevermore to wake;
Should I be awake
nevermore to sleep -
to hurt,
to be,
to be hurt ...
to cry,
to cry myself to sleep ...
to be lost
and lonely
to love
to hurt ...



Filling my hands
with the emptiness
of life
needle sharp splinters
hurting
pricking into me
droplets of blood
oozing
from me ...
like a little wounded animal
fleeing in terror
hurting ...
would I be able to trust
ever again?
Could there be anything else
to life
but being hurt
hurting ...



hurting
because of you,
because of me ...
crying
hurting ...



I have found you
per chance
my soulmate -
my other
you
found
and lost ...



vulnerable
hauntingly lonely
crying
hurting
for you ...
for me,
breaking apart ...
being torn apart,
bleeding
and hurting
because of you ...

because I love you
beyond words,
beyond reason

because of you .....



DM 3.5.2006