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'judgement day' doesn't seem like it... |
a busy day in heaven... St.Peter: hey.. hey... no pushing!! just one line please!! there!! good... now.. next!!! St.P: Yes?? state your name and former occupation... Aya: Aya Zhao... Fashion Model... St.P: Fashion Model?? what's that?? Aya: well.. i wear clothes and show them to people and fans.. St.P: no.. really.. what do you do?? Aya: i'm a fashion model.. people pay me to wear clothes and show them how good it looks.. St.P: you kidding me?? people always wore clothes... what's so special about that?? Aya: well.. i look good in clothes... and.. and... St.P: next!!! name and occuptaion... Hugh: Hugh Rewnings... hair stylist... St.P: hair stylist?? Hugh: i style the hair of people.. i fix and beautify the hair of people.. St.P: didn't God, "the man", give people hands to fix their own hair?? Hugh: well.. they don't have the beautifying artistic hands that i have... St.P: well.. i can see the same old hands i've seen for the past centuries... next!!!!!!! Hugh: what?? please i need to get inside!! St.P: NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!! name and occupation.. Chelsea: Chelsea garcia... dog groomer.. St.P: you take care of animals? that's good.. Chelsea: yeah.. well actually people pay me to make their pet dogs beautiful and clean.. i also do cats... St.P: people actually pay you to groom animals that can groom themselves?? Chelsea: well.. they become more clean.. St.P: and you get paid?.... Chelsea: well.. yeah... St.P: next!!!! name and occupation... June: June Lee... Humanitarian... St.P: you protect humans right?? June: exactly.. if only i lived a little longer than i had i would have helped a lot more.... St.P: well.. i never thought i'd say this... step right in... here's you passport.. just go straight.. then turn left.. and then right on the door after the pillar... June: thanks... St.P: next... June: excuse me.. but was that straight then turn right?? then.... St.P: NEXT!!!!!! name and occupation... John: John Hemmings... St.P: occupation... John: politician..... St.P: next!!! Jade: Jade Deri..... St.P: wait.. you didn't pass your complete copy of birth certificate and your 2x2 i.d. picture... Jade: is that really necessary?? St.P: yes... come back if you have the complete requirements.... next!!!! name and occupation... Kaye: Kaye Beau.. Stripper/Prosti.... St.P: Stripper?? Prosti?? Kaye: well.. a Prosti is a new term for.... hmmm... well... a 'caregiver'... St.P: you give special attention to people? Kaye: yeah... you can say that... St.P: oh.. sounds good so far... wait Prosti sounds closely like Prostitute... are you sure it's a different thing??? Kaye: yeah... St.P: oh really... i was gonna decide that it was a prostitute but now it's clear to me.... a Prosti is a CAREGIVER and a totally diff. thing... Kaye: yeah.. let's go with that... St.P: okay then here's your passport... here's your room key... have an enjoyable stay here in Paradise... |