"Almost Missed But I Didn't'

‘ALMOST MISSED….BUT I DIDN’T’

Dat reminds me bout one time Luster wuz up to Strazi's Drive Inn, one Sattiday night and wuz in his mamma's new, red, chevrolet caprice…Da one, wut had dem cut outs on it, ...dat she didn't no bout.... Luster had dun been drankin a few beers and cided he gonna ride up on da levee and take da jump over da pipe… like eberbody did, when dey has dey mamma's new car and dey out drinkin and riding...Luster don't member who all wuz in da car ...sept for Billy Keeton....So Luster got em a damn fine start and hit da ramp over da pipe and airborne dey went....Well ...wen da car started back down, towards da planet....all dey seen wuz a red Pontiac Firebird ...in they line of decent....Luster almost missed it…but he didn’t ...so he didn't think he had did much damage…so he didn't bother to stop...Well here come da Pontiac...chasing after Luster ...and down da side of da levee he run ...wide open.....and da Pontiac be gaining on em...So Luster took da short cut.... up threw dat trailer park where Rita and dem used to stay and headed into town...

Well somewhere’s over near Short Pollack dey caught em and Luste pulled ober, cause he thought da mens in da Pontiac wuz gonna shoot his mamma's tires out...Well outta da other car come da redneck, wut wuz driving, and Luster ain't neber seed him afoe ...but da next two RedNecks wut got out, wuz one a dem Cantrell boys and a Rochelle....Luster said to hisself…"You is one dead wite man now"... And dats wen Billy Keeton got outta Luster’s car and Luster swears dat dem other boys froze when dey seen Billy Keeton get outta Luster‘s, mammas car…it wuz da damnest Mexican stand off you eber seen...It wuz like Matt Dillon and John Wayne squaring off...Boaf wuz bad and boaf didn't wanta have nuthing to do wit da other one...Luster swear he didn't know Billy Keeton wuz dat bad...Well da redneck wut wuz driving come up and Luster told him he sho wuz sorry and dat he wuz gonna pay for da damage...Luster told him to take his car down to Meadors Chevrolet and they fix it like new for em...So Luster went home an tole his Daddy dat he had dun backed into a nice man, when he wuz at da library working on a term paper, last nite. And his Daddy say to tell da man to take his car down to Meadors Chevrolet and us gonna pay to have it fixed", so his Insurance man wouldn't fine out bout it....Luster’s daddy said dat he wuz becoming a wise young man ..

So Luster wuz feeling kinda proud bout hisself ...all day...Dat is till his daddy got home dat night...and call him in da room and say, he had dun got a call from sumbody named Vernell,…wut wanted his car fixed ...Luster said, "Yes sir Daddy...das him ...Mr. Vernell"..Das when Luster’s daddy said..."Well, Vernell said.... He also needed to get an alignment" …"Wut do he need a alignment for …Daddy"?... "Cause he say he dun knocked da front end loose. when he hit dat cattle gap, last nite... trying to catch you …after you dun jumped dat pipe over on the levee, in yo mamma‘s new car."