"Erased"

"Erased"

So much pain,
I cannot bear it alone!
The weight is heavy on me,
Bringing me down.
Dragging me further down.

Is it worth it to feel this way?
I search aimlessly for serenity.
Or go crazy with guilt and grievance.
Waiting and watching, hoping.
Numbness has overcome me.

As there's nothing left to feel.
Is this weight my fate?
It falls upon me heavily.
Grief and guilt they suffocate me.
Nothing left, but to cry.


Angels stand, watching, guiding us,
they are neither friend nor foe.
So fragile I fall, being ever enthralled.
I lay myself down tonight,
farther down than I've ever been.

There is NO calm for me tonight.
No there will be none.
If I could I'd send God's grace tonight,
could it be found?!
Will I drown tonight? I'm drowning!

What follows me?
Who will follow me?
Am I just begging to be imbrued?
I sit and watch the stars go out tonight,
but, I'm on sinking ground.

Feeling so strewn about across the floor,
Piece's of me lost, never to be found again.
I'm led to this empty place where I belong.
This is where it's all erased.
What follows now, will swallow me whole!


Inspiration for this poem was also from listening to AFI's "Girls Not Grey"