Birthdays Suck

I woke this morning with a smile
My birthday finally here
I've begged my lover for awhile
To buy me a keg of beer.

I was sure that's what I would receive
As I hurried down the stairs
He waited at the table
Giving me a lecherous stare

I thought that meant he'd bought it
That he knew I'd reward him dear
But the present on the table
Was not a keg of beer.

I opened it with trepidation
Not sure what I would find
What's this? A lacy negligee
I should have known, his dirty mind!

I sadly went to try it on
The same present every year
My lover has a one track mind
Maybe next time, there'll be beer.