Why?

(( No, its not completely formless. Some of the style is actually intentional ^^. I wrote this all at once, in one sitting, just after the funeral, so it represents the flow of my thoughts. Enjoy!))


Why?


The candle falters
On the black marble floor,
And the midnight tomb
Where my heart now lies
Why?

They file past
One by one
Hands grasped
Hearts ripped
And their grief leaves wet trails
Through dark lines
Why?

Your face is plastic,
A copy of the living you.
The spark in your eyes,
The light in your face,
Is forever gone.
Did you fall from grace?
Why did you go?

We were all here
The crowd filling this church
Is it only in death that we come to your side?
Could you not see the lives you would rip apart?
Could you not hold on just another night?
Was the pain so much that this flickering light
Over stone, over wood
Dripping eyes, bleeding hearts
Was it hidden from your eyes in eternal night,
On that day that your soul was let a flight?
Why must you go?

That place in my soul
Where your light was held
Now gapes with a scar
That may never re-meld
And my only escape is just to be held
In the arms of another
Love heals says the mother.
Why did you go?

But the darkness remains
An ever-present mark
A monster lurking just beyond sight
And I run and I run, and hide as I might
But the moment I lay down to sleep in the night
My mind brings it back, that loss that stings still
And the demons that lurk in that hole that you filled
Will never be gone, I am slave to them still.
Why must you go?

Was it your intention to leave behind as much hurt as you felt
Or was your mind simply turned inwards to something else
So that the image of those that one act might hurt
Was gone from your sight
Emotions inert
Why?

Held within this image of you
No, your shell,
Lying still in your coffin,
At peace?
Can we tell?
Must you go?
Don’t leave me.
This isn’t real,
I cannot feel.
Don’t understand,
Was this the plan?
I’ll never heal,
This can’t be real!
But they turn to go
End of the show
Your coffin’s gone
I’m left the pawn
In emotions hand
Since life began
The tears must fall
Must we all?

You are gone.