My Anniversary

So I was in my weight room and I finished doing 3 supersets in a row and I was heaving but I still wanted to do some negative reps. So I called to my son and I said for him to help me do some negative reps. He said "wow dad you're arms have gained like half an inch in the past month." I was aware of my gains but I still said thank you cause that was my son and I wanted to show him how to have manners.

I told my son "I need the 15 pound bells put on." and my son gave me a weird look like he was puzzled. My son said "dad, the 15 pound weights are missing, I think they are lost and you need new ones."
And I said "Well I'll get some tomorrow. I'm taking a break. Please get me my Hardline MegaFuel so I can make a shake to drink."

My son gave another weird look filled with puzzle and he said "That is missing to. You need to go tonight and get more tonight." I looked at him and nodded that yes I would have to go tonight to get more bells and MegaFuel shake mix.

I thought it was suspicious but I went and got into my car. My car was in my 3 car garage and it was a sleek red Mazda RX-8. I saw myself in the reflection in the gleaming body and I could see that I was indeed ripped. I peeled out of the garage knowing full well that I could smoke anything on the road if I needed to.

I stopped off at the second hand sports store and bought some weights. The cashier was a hottie and wanted my number but I was like, "Look baby, I'm taken, otherwise I'd take you." I feel like a gentleman when I stand by my marriage vows. After that I went to GNC and got some MegaFuel. When I got back home all the lights were out. I got suspicious as I pulled into my garage. I cut the engine and coasted the car through the open garage door. I reached under my seat and unholstered my 9mm.

I pulled the handle on my door and gently pushed my weight against it, not letting the latch engage. I quietly snuck out of the garage and darted from tree to tree in the dark yard. I made my way to the cellar and pulled the door open. Creeping on the balls of my feet, I made my way to the stairs that led into the rest of the house. I climbed the stairs and slowly turned the knob that led into the kitchen.

As I pulled the door open, I saw three male figures hunched over. They looked as if they were waiting to ambush somebody. I took aim and fired. The first dropped straight to the ground without making a noise. The second screamed and fell to the ground writhing in pain. I shot the third man and sent him flying through the bay window. He fell ten feet to the ground outside.

All of a sudden the lights came on. I saw banners that said "Happy Anniversary, Dad and Mom". There was a room full of friends who looked shocked. My son had a party hat on and stood by a large table with a cake on it. "Those were your friends, dad." my son said.

"Jeez, I hate surprise parties." I said. My joke cut the tension and everyone laughed. It turned out to be a pretty good party after all.