Freewriting

This is the darkness that coils inside your brain, the lightless tunnel of pain. Where do you go and who do you turn to when all that you have has slowly died? Being in this alone makes you wonder and think who are your real friends, do you have any? What exactly are you going to do now, now that everyone has turned their backs on you, now that there is no one left to dry your tears. No one left who cares, nothing left to live for, nothing left to offer. Loven and happiness the farthest thing from mind. Feeling the sense of being left behind. Nothing to calm you down, no way to let loose. Anger bottled up inside, feeling so hard to hide. Trembling in fear at the mere thought of what's going on around you. Not wanting to truly believe, lost in anger and deceit. Misfortune and sadness creeping closer each moment. Left out in the rain, hearts and minds empty. No way back and no way out. Cold, so very cold it sinks into your bones as if a freshly sharpened knife, one that slowly slices away every ounce of pain you've ever felt. All in a swirl, down the drain, no more pain, no more pain. Turning black, time rolling back. Faster and faster backward i fall and i seem to be getting nowhere at all. Letting go, no longer feeling the falling, seeing the black, or hearing the calling. The voice no longer there to chase away each innocent stare. What's going on? I don't understand what i'm feeling, i usually use this for healing. Now it's all fading to grey, i wish i wish it would all go away