Untitled Vampire Comedy-Prologue

It was a dark and stormy night and the moon was full and bright. Jonniena was walking down a dark lonesome road…alone!. The tree-lined road stretched endlessly in front of her. She shivered as the wind whistled through the trees.
Suddenly: HOWWWLLLL!
Jonniena froze shivering she had heard about the ferocious beast that stalked these woods! Fear stabbed at her heart as she quickened her pace but it was all in vain as a great beast leapt out of the trees and pinned her on the dirt floor. She screamed as it stared ripping at her flesh in a ferocious manner.

Suddenly a dismembered foot flew out of nowhere and hit the werewolf right between the eyes. The stunned werewolf spun round to see two vampires, one male one female, and a one footed ghoul which was leaning on the female vampire for support,
“Oh shit I can’t believe I fell apart again, stupid foot!”
The vampire looked vaguely impressed,
“Nice shot though.”
The male vampire flew past them both and started to hack the poor helpless werewolf to pieces with a large silver sword. The ghoul hopped over to her dismembered foot and started to reattach it using a sewing kit.

Meanwhile the female vampire approached the still hysterical Jonniena,
“Oh shut up for fucks sake! You’re doing my head in!”
Picking the helpless girl up easily with one hand the vampire sunk her teeth into Jonniena’s neck and drained her blood. Throwing the corpse to one side, the vampire turned to her boyfriend who was still hacking the werewolf cadaver to pieces.
“Moose, dearest… honey?”
She sighed,
“MOOSE!!!”
The vampire spun round with a start,
“What?”
“Dearest I think it’s dead now.”
Moose turned to the remains of the mutilated werewolf,
“Oh yeah so it is. Where’s that human gone?”
His girlfriend looked at him guiltily,
“Ummm I’ve already killed her.”
“Again? You freaking kill-hog! God! I’m starving!”
“Sorry dear I’ll find you a snack on the way home.”

The newly repaired ghoul wandered over to the remains of the werewolf and looked down at it,
“Wow”, she exclaimed, “Look at that werewolf dick! I wish my dick was as big as that!”
The vampire rolled her emerald green eyes,
“Rachelle, you’re a chick! For the last time you do not have a penis!”
The ghoul looked hurt,
“Yeah that’s right Lithia! Rub it in my face! If you must know I’m going through a difficult phase at the moment and you’re not helping things! Just because you’re all happy with you coupleyness and, and… oh shit my hand’s come off again! Being a gender confused emo-ghoul is so hard! My life sucks and… oh look a moth!”
Lithia shook her head in despair,
“Shut up Rachelle! Come on you two, let’s go home.”

With that the trio disappeared as suddenly as they appeared leaving the two corpses strewn across the lonely dirt path.