An epiphany story:A man is caught between day and night. Epiphany. |
I zipped up my brown leather jacket, prepared myself one more time, before staggering out of the heavily guarded front door of Latitude into the summer night's heavy rain. The nightclub had been fun. It always was. It had everything you needed. Girls and alcohol; although I still couldn't believe I had failed to get lucky. Again. It had been a long time since Destiny, and I was starting to wonder if I had lost my touch – if I ever had one in the first place. Latitude had been full of all sorts of girls: The pretty, the not so pretty, and the downright ugly. My standards had slowly started the climb down the ladder as I got progressively more drunk. Now I'd fallen off the ladder altogether and I was lying on my arse at the bottom; I was so drunk and so desperate that I’d spike my own drink. Usually at this stage of the night I would go to the nearest fast-food establishment with the rest of the guys, but not tonight. Kebab wasn’t going to fill this particular hole. It would take more than flesh wrapped in pitta bread to fill the emptiness inside me. My lack of success with the ladies had led me to take off on my own, and the only other thing I needed to think about as I stumbled drunkenly along the road was my destination. Sure, my final destination was home, but I wanted some fun first; an adventure of sorts, so I decided to take the long way around Blackstone. The route through the built up semi-rural estate would still get me home in the end - albeit half an hour behind schedule. My safety wasn't a huge concern, Blackstone was by no means the roughest of areas; and besides, in this state I probably wouldn't even feel the pain of a harsh beating. I was feeling so sorry for myself after my recent 'losing-streak' that it didn't really matter to me anyway. I just needed a walk. To exlplain, Blackstone is an out of town estate; so that meant the long road around to home would direct me out of the city and through a quieter, greener place on the other side of the hill from Downtown. As I caught sight of the roundabout that forced me to make a final decision regarding my route home, I decided that it would be best to go the long way and take the opportunity to sober up a bit. Good plan Terry. Good Plan. The roundabout stood proudly mounted on the brow of a hill, and as I got closer the strain on the back of my tired calves eased, and I was given a beautiful view of the sun rising over Blackstone – and beyond. Even though it was little after 4am, the summer sun was projecting a carpet of yellow light across the tranquil countryside that was stretched out below the hill in front of me. As far as I could see, the farmhouses and villages scattered throughout the distance were illuminated by an aura of natural light. A short distance downhill - and a little to the right - Blackstone stood still in time; caught on the threshold between the receding night and the advancing sunlight of the new day. Everything but the closest of Blackstone's houses – those on the start of the hill's ascent – stood dazzled in awe of the rising dawn. Back in the valley behind me, in the direction I had just climbed from to reach the top, Downtown still reigned in its complete darkness – an entirely different universe from the one stretched out below me. The first signs of sobriety cleansed me momentarily and I remembered an ancient proverb. Turn and face the sun.......And the shadows shall fall behind you. On this beautifully wet summer morning, the middle of the roundabout was sleeping under a blanket of red and yellow dew-soaked flowers that were neatly planted in octagonal plots around a large wire frame horse. The horse itself was also woven with an embroidery of bright petals; greens, purples and blues – as well as carefully concealed power cables which served the decorative lights inside. The frayed edges of the sunlight's creeping carpet were still struggling to cope with the ascent up the steep hill in front of me; permitting the dull ambience of the horse's bulbs to shine through both the rainbow of thin petals and the fading remains of darkness. As I stood on the circumference of the roundabout, I let the poignancy of the moment wash over me. Here I was - Terry Redemption - the only man present to watch this brave, radiant stallion attempting to fight off the inevitable army of sunrays. If I waited for a short time I would actually experience the sunlight conquering the hill and passing over me, bringing with it a new day. An amazing feeling entered me. Epiphany. I had the perfect opportunity to welcome a new day in all its splendour; forget about the troubles of the night and physically let the glorious path of light wipe the slate clean. I anticipated the elation of the event.....a return to reason, to optimism...and sobriety. I continued my magnificent reverie as my thoughts were heightened and decided to close my eyes for a few minutes until I could feel the gentle intrusion of the sunlight passing through the curtain of my eyelids...... For a short period of time, as I stood there in the perfect threshold between dark and light, I opened my eyes and everything on the roundabout seemed to glow a little brighter. The hind legs of the illuminated horse appeared to laugh a more intense light as it was tickled by the probing fingers of the morning sun. The sea of flowers beneath the horse participated too; as the freshly recharged beams of the day penetrated the clear dew on the leaves. The effect created was an ocean of gleaming jewels, awash with all the reds and yellows imaginable. Even the grass around the neatly planned plots was shining; the beads of dew impaled on top of the blades glowing orange in the sun like a million streetlights. I couldn't believe my eyes as I stood over the botanical kingdom. Before I knew it, the 6ft horse was in complete sunlight, the electric bulbs hidden inside now rendered redundant after their enchanting encore. As I stood there proudly watching the steed accept the sunlight and cast the first shadow of the day over the dew-sequined city, an abundance of ideas and feelings started sweeping through my mind. Sunrises, sweethearts, seasides......strangely; Mr 'Tambourine Man' by Bob Dylan: "Let me forget about today until tomorrow....." It was as if the sun had recharged, restored and rejuvenated me. The light had now passed across the roundabout and was about to find the other side of the hill, I watched patiently as it sprayed light across most of the valley – most of it except Downtown. Downtown lay obscurely in the valley; and poised at such an angle beneath the hills that on this particular day it was completely sheltered from the refreshing light. A looming shadow cast over it, its dirty grey buildings unable to escape the corrupting darkness. Some would say it's never sunny in Downtown. I turned around again and prepared to set down the hill – on the sunny side – and head towards Blackstone. As I followed the roundabout's curve – its perfect form extrapolated onto the pavement – I read the square sign mounted at the edge of the roundabout, far from the reaches of the horse's extending shadow. You Are Now Leaving Downtown: Have A Nice Day... |