Not Anymore

I am confused now
Baffled at myself
At my mind
Who are you really?
I wonder
I know you as my friend
But are you really even still that?

I don’t know much of you anymore
Is that a wrong thing for me to do?
I can’t really focus now
I am still thinking
You are weighing down my thoughts

I never thought myself to be nostalgic
I always thought I was different
Living in the present, in the now
But am I just another mindless zombie?
Worrying both about what’s happened and what’s not?
Was I never as special as I thought?
Am I like you?

You.
The one who can never seem to let go
The one who thought everyone was against her
You were like that since I met you, years ago
You were like that when we proclaimed ourselves best friends
You were like that
But what troubles me now is
I don’t know why you were, why you are
Not anymore.