Always a Silver Lining

Boy, can life suck. It seems life is just a series of shit happening, and trying to duck before it hits you smack in the face.

“This is not the first time I’ve been through this,” she said out loud.
Sitting at her kitchen table, smoking a cigarette while the TV spoke to no-one in the next room.
“And it won’t be the last. I’ll get through it. This too shall pass.” She said this out loud in an attempt to reassure herself.

Her cellphone beeped. A text message from Sally, “How did it go? I was thinking about you today.” She stared at the words, unable to reply. Tears started stinging behind her eyelids.

At 9:00am that morning she faced the firing squad. Exhausted from lack of sleep, heart pounding, she sat down in front of her boss, Alan; and Margaret, the mediator – brought in so that her ‘case’ could receive an unbiased judgement.

Margaret opened with some formalities. “Tess and Alan, this hearing has been called to determine whether there has been an incidence of poor performance and insubordination.” Margaret paused. “I have a letter calling for a disciplinary procedure dated 1 February 2005. Tess, you received this?” she glanced at her.
“Yes,” Tess replied.
“And you are aware of your option to bring a peer along to this hearing?”
“Yes,” Tess said.
“You’ve chosen not to have a peer?”
“That’s right.”
The next 2 hours were emotionally exhausting and left her feeling battered and bruised.

But Tess wasn’t going to go down without a fight. She had prepared whatever she could to counter Alan’s allegations. It boiled down to her word against his.
Alan, too, had prepared. A tall, handsome 40-something marketing man, very articulate, intelligent and persuasive. Tess knew she didn’t stand a chance. He had put his ‘evidence’ together with the same detail as he did his marketing presentations - well-researched, thorough.

The phone rang and she jumped, spilling her vodka and tonic. She put out her cigarette. “Hello.”
“Tess!” an anxious voice exclaimed. “You didn’t reply to my message!”
“Sal, hi.”
“I was worried!”
“Sorry. I was going to reply,” She said lamely.
“What happened?”
“The prick got away with it. I was fired.”
“Oh no! Are you serious? Bloody hell!”
“Ya. It went on for 2 hours. Alan lied. Jeff and Andrew lied. It was impossible.”
“Oh no! Tess!”
“Yeah. I’m so angry Sally. I’m so angry.”
“I can’t believe the bastard got away with this. Its shocking,” Sally said.

The day’s emotions finally overcame her. Tears welled. Her body started to shake.
“I tried to do the right thing,” she stammered between sobs racking her body. “And this is what I get.”

Sally was silent, not knowing what to say to make it better. She felt helpless. Sally lived 500km away. Her best friend needed her and she couldn’t dash over with some comfort food, hugs and tears to share, like they did as students. Life had taken them in different directions. Sally was now married and expecting her first child. She moved away when her husband got a job in another town. Tess was single, lived on her own, had no brothers or sisters and her parents were not well-off. She didn’t have a lot of options. She needed her job. She was so excited when, after years in dead-end secretarial jobs, she landed a job at a PR Agency as Marketing Assistant. There was room to move up to Account Executive. She was determined to prove her worth and make it. But her line manager, Alan Howell, had another scenario in mind for her to climb the corporate ladder.

At first it was subtle and Tess dismissed it. As it became more overt, Tess questioned whether she was just being oversensitive.
But there was no more doubt the day Alan summonised her to his office to help him with a report he was preparing. She innocently ambled into his office. They made some light conversation, cracked some jokes and had a laugh. Generally, they had a very pleasant working relationship. So it was a shock to discover just what a slimy character he really was.
He needed her help with a document he was working. She moved around his desk, leaned over to grab hold of the computer’s mouse. Alan passed one of his usual and what seemed like harmless flirtatious remarks. Then with no warning grabbed her by the waist and started to pull her down on his lap.
“What the hell are you doing!” she screamed as she jumped up as if a bolt of electricity had stung her.

She could pretty much kiss her new job goodbye after that. From then on there were constant complaints about her work and performance. Some of the other guys in the office joined in on the victimisation. There was snickering and gossiping and stares. The stares were the worst. They made her feel guilty even though she didn't do anything wrong.
After hearing what had happened, other female colleagues approached Tess with similar stories. The reason they still had their jobs and Tess didn’t, was because they kept their mouths shut.

“When you do the right thing, shouldn’t it turn out right?” Tess implored.
“It will. What goes around comes around. Alan will have his day. And things will be ok with you. You have to believe that.” Sally said.
“I finally get a job I like, and it gets taken away from me.” Tess’ tears had given way to deep sadness and hopelessness. Her body had slouched over and slid down the chair.

She lit another cigarette. “What am I going to do Sal? Why does shit keep happening to me?”
“Sweety, you’re not alone. You have friends, family, people who care about you.” Sally replied. Despite meaning this sincerely, somehow it sounded like weak encouragement and she sensed Tess wasn’t soothed.


A FEW MONTHS LATER

After losing her job she had sunk into the depths of depression, smoking and drinking too much and avoiding life. She spent days in bed, sleeping or watching TV, with mini mountains of crisps, chocolates and donuts taking up the other half of the bed. She seldom bothered to cook a decent meal. Insidiously, she became an addict of daytime TV and soaps.

Then one day it dawned on her – my life has degenerated to daytime soapies, Ricky Lake, doritos and M & M’s. I am gaining weight and losing my life. I’ve given up. What’s happening to me! I have to do something.

And she did.

For weeks Sally had been nagging her to put her skills and talents to use. "Why work for a boss and put up with the crap, when you are so dynamic and talented and could make that work for you!" she urged.
The message eventually filtered through to her foggy brain. "Yes," she thought. "Why not work for myself!"

A few months later, she walked into a meeting with a client as a very familiar face walked out. For a second she faltered, losing her confidence and nerve. But then anger welled up within her and a determination she never knew she had took over. She brushed lightly against him as she strode purposefully into the room, acutely aware of his disbelieving stare. The client thanked him and closed door, leaving Alan still stunned and speechless on the other side of the door.

Shortly after the chance meeting at the client and hearing that she had landed the contract, she bumped into Alan at a mall. To her surprise, the suave, self-assured man she had known was fidgety, embarrassed and at a loss for words. Some superficial words were exchanged in an attempt to be polite, before moving past each other.
Tess stopped and turned to watch him walking away. “Was that a hint of admiration I saw in his eyes?” she wondered curiously. “Mixed with apology?” Hmpf! She felt smug satisfaction.


ONE YEAR LATER

Tess’ eyelids fluttered open and she waited for her bleary eyes to adjust to the light and the room to come into focus. She had a wonderful intense feeling of satisfaction. Pure satisfaction. She smiled.

Yesterday had been a good day - a very good day. Now she was bathing in the after-glow of victory.

Here she was, after completing a successful event that her – yes, HER – PR agency had hosted. The client had beamed his thanks and told her he would have no reservation recommending her to other people. She recalled the day she bumped into Alan at the clients office. The surprise on his face. She smiled gleefully. Victory had never been sweeter.

She rolled over lazily and stretched her arms arching her back. She threw her hands behind her head and mused, “This was the best thing that ever happened to me.”
Thank you Alan for what you put me through. For out of it a brand new exciting future has been birthed.

She threw back the covers and leapt out of bed with an energy and enthusiasm she last recalled feeling on her 9th birthday when she heard her mum busily cooking & baking in the kitchen for her party. The same bubbly feeling of expectancy, excitement and thrill! It was back!