A Manhattanite accepts his duality in life. |
“Good morning!” Sarah chirped gaily as she entered the kitchen. She had already showered and had gotten dressed, and was headed toward the coffee maker. She was humming lightly while she poured herself a steaming cup. The tune seemed familiar, but the title of the song escapes me. I was never very good at remembering those things. I was still in my pajamas, and was sitting at the dinette, eating my bowl of cereal, paper in hand, pondering the meaning in today’s Garfield installment. She leaned against the counter, as she took a few sips from her cup, and eyed me suspiciously. “And, where are you off to today?” I was in mid-bite of my Lucky Charms, and I held out a finger as I chewed the tasty morsels before responding. “Around.” She rolled her eyes. “You think you’re being mysterious, is that it?” I shrugged, and returned to reading the funnies. Sarah simply stood there, drinking her coffee, and I could feel her gaze linger on me for a few seconds more before finally looking elsewhere. Outside, I could hear the city waking up, replete with the sounds of jackhammers that no weekday morning could ever be without. The jingle of keys made me look up from my paper, and I was expecting to see the back of my better half as she exited the kitchen. Instead, I saw that Sarah had not moved from her spot, and was looking at me quizzically. She had finished her coffee, and was absentmindedly playing with her keys in her hand. I simply provided her with a stoic expression, silently wondering what was going through her head at that moment. It had been a while since she had taken this stance, and I knew that my time would run out sooner or later. “You’ve been at it again, haven’t you?” she finally said. “What do you mean?” I said, returning to reading my paper. She didn’t immediately respond, and I knew she was hoping to use the silence to get me to talk. She said it always worked with her students. But, in our fifteen years of marriage, that technique of hers had never worked on me. It boggles me that she keeps on trying. “It’s very concerning, John,” she continued, “It had been a while since…the last time. I don’t know if I could go through that again.” “I really don’t know what you’re talking about, dear,” I muttered, spooning another helping of the now-soggy cereal. “I’m just…worried,” she managed, walking toward the door. I sighed as she left the room, and blankly stared at the empty doorway. I held my breath while I listened intently as Sarah opened and closed the front door, signaling that she had finally left the apartment. I breathed a sigh of relief as I heard Sarah’s distinct footsteps trail away into nothingness down the exterior corridor. Yes, it had certainly been a while since Sarah had questioned me about my wanderings about town. I would always deflect her questions with my signature shrug. A part of me wants desperately to tell her the truth. But, I know that Sarah would never understand. And, by God, how could she ever? How could an educated, rational individual like her ever understand? I couldn’t finish my breakfast, and I took the bowl over to the kitchen sink. I watched as the bloated lumps disappear into the garbage disposal. I looked out the kitchen window, and noticed that it was turning out to be a beautiful day. I went into the bedroom, and walked toward the wardrobe. A profound sense of excitement began to bubble up inside me as I opened the wardrobe door. There was my suit, nice and clean even after yesterday’s meanderings. I couldn’t wait to put it on. I decided that I’m not going to shower this morning. I took the suit out of the wardrobe, and ran my fingers across its furry texture before donning it. I walked over to Sarah’s full-length mirror, and marveled at the image in the reflection. I got on all fours and looked in the mirror again. Perfect, I thought, and had to stifle a guffaw at the sight of my floppy ears. As always, I practiced walking around the room, hoping to master the movements before venturing out. I went to the full-length mirror again, and let out a playful growl. God, I look great, I mused. Satisfied that the persona was complete, I headed toward the exit of the apartment, the only thing temporarily ruining the illusion was the use of my fingers to turn the knob. Across the hall, Mrs. Sotheby was unfortunate again this morning to be exiting her own apartment at the same time as me, and was, once again, afforded the baffling sight of her strange neighbor. She looked down toward me, unflinching from her door for a moment as if in shock. “Well, hello, John,” she said in that creaky voice old people get the later they get on in years. “Woof!” I responded, slightly panting. She forced a smile. “The weather is certainly shaping up out there,” she said. I continued to pant and responded to her statement by shaking my rear, feeling the weight of the wagging tail in the back of the suit. Mrs. Sotheby stepped out into the corridor, and closed her apartment door. As if on cue, I also exited onto the corridor, and stepped aside to let Mrs. Sotheby shut the door to our apartment. We both walked toward the elevator, and I broke our silence with occasional mild whining. In the elevator, as we headed down to the ground floor, Mrs. Sotheby gave me a sideways glance, and then shook her head. “Poor Sarah,” she said under her breath as if to believe I couldn’t hear her. The soft ding of the elevator signaled the end of our brief ride, and the doors opened into the lobby of our building. Without much thought to etiquette, I got out of the elevator ahead of Mrs. Sotheby, and didn’t look back. The bright morning sun was shining through the lobby doors, casting a glow on the face of Donald, the doorman. Unlike Mrs. Sotheby, Donald had not gotten used to seeing me in this persona, and gave me his usual disdainful regard as he opened the door to let me out onto the sidewalk. Predictably, the hordes of pedestrians outside my building stared at me as they walked past with mixed reactions. Some were amused; others were a little nervous. But, as always, I paid them no heed. I looked up at the New York sky, and allowed the brief rays of the sun warm my face. It certainly is a beautiful day, I thought, as I began my stroll in this urban jungle. |