My Step Fathers Death-

I thought growing up was the hardest time of my life but the last nine-and-a-half months have been the hardest time of all. Easter weekend my step dad, Doug, went to the hospital for chest pains. He had a stress test done and then was discharged; the doctors said his heart was fine and all he needed to do was change his diet. We had a family gathering Sunday for Easter dinner at our house. It was the best Easter ever with everyone together; now it is a great memory to keep in mind. My Grandpa Steve and Doug were joking around who was going to eat the most spiral ham. None of us saw what was coming up next.
The last Friday of Spring break, exactly one week later, happened to be April Fool’s Day. That morning I woke up around 8:30a.m. and my step dad had a doctor’s appointment at 10:30 a.m. I decided to play an April Fool’s joke on my mom. “ Mom, it’s 11:00a.m. Doug’s late to the doctor!” I yelled. It was really only nine o’clock in the morning. That was her April Fool’s joke. About quarter after ten, my mom left with my step dad to go to the doctor’s office. He was going for a check-up and he was so excited to get back to the Health Club and be able to have a life again.
That same day my mom had to go into work, about an hour away; so that afternoon it was just my step dad and myself at home because my brother was staying at my grandma and grandpa’s for the week, working with my grandpa. That afternoon Doug said he was going for a walk. He walked to the Oak Park Lounge down the street from our house. He had been gone about three or four hours before I called him. I had called my mom at work after I waited and waited and hadn’t heard from him; she said I could punish him by letting him sit out side in the rain since it was raining outside, so I locked the doors and turned on my music. When he got home he was pounding on the doors, calling my name, and I was upstairs in my room listening to music so I could barely hear him. When I did hear him, I just ignored him at first. After a couple minutes went by, I called my mom and she told me to me I could let him in—“He’s been out there long enough”—so I let him in. He got on the phone with her and they got into a huge argument because he was at the bar most of the day and I was at home. The rest of the day they spent angry at each other and gave each other the cold shoulder. I was a little angry with myself for that, but also angry with him.
It got to be about 10:30 at night, and I teased Doug that I had April Fooled my mom and he hadn’t. He said, “Ha, ha! The night’s not over yet.”
About a half hour later I fell asleep on the couch watching Law & Order while my mom was painting her nails. A little before midnight, I woke up to my mom screaming to me, “Kristen! Call 911! Doug had a heart attack!”
I got up and dialed 911. The operator put me on hold for a couple minutes. While I was just sitting there my mom was screaming and freaking out, “ I don’t know how to do CPR!” she said repeatedly.
I threw the phone on the ground, even though I was still on hold with the operator, and I started CPR on Doug. I knew how to do it since I just had gotten certified about a month before. First the two rescue breaths while plugging his nose with his air way opened. My mom started giving two breaths for every 15 compressions I gave. We worked together for a long time, but it was too late.
After Doug’s death the first couple of months were very tough for the whole family to even stay home or not even think about him. Today, I am feeling guilt, thinking I didn’t try my hardest, feeling bad for being so mean and rude to him, not showing him how much I appreciated him and loved him. Some days bring good memories; other days bring bad memories, and even some days I don’t even really think of him. Since then our household has fallen apart; no one is used to cooking or cleaning, or we are always constantly fighting, and he was the one always to take care of that. He did a lot more than any of us realized, it took a lot just to do what he did, which was being a stay-at-home parent. He still worked from home, I just never really realized it, but he did. We always thought he was lazing, sitting on the couch watching T.V., but we notice he was something more than that lazy bum. HE WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR ME! Always….
What I have realized since his death is that he was the one person I could always rely on. When my cat, Daisy, died, he made the time to make casket, buried her with a small ceremony, and immediately took my mom and I to Home Depot to get daisies to plant over her grave. Doug put a lot of work into her casket. Just for me because he knew how important she was to me.
Since Doug’s death I lost my bird, Tommy, who was not just a bird; he was a very special friend that I could talk to. We also lost Gizzard, my brother’s bearded dragon, and I was the one who found him.
Since Doug’s death, my mom has been unable to make ends meet and with her own grief she has been unable to be there for us. Doug did many things we didn’t notice. Dinner was always on the table, my mom never had to cook in 10 years, and we barely ever ate fast food or out. When I needed help with my homework he was always there. I never realized how much he really did even while he was sitting in his chair. We knew he would be there as soon as I came home from school or babysitting. That comfort is no longer there. Now our family is lost, broke, and having to learn the things Doug did for us now that he is no longer here to do them.