The Outside In..

Outside of me..

The wind at my back
I walk slowly,
trying not to fall
A target for sinners
to entrap my soul,
Im lonely from it all;
I put on a front
to hide what I cant
bear to tell..
My heart is breaking
from lack of trust
and self esteem, as well;
The ground hardens
as I see a grey patch
looming up ahead,
There is no warmth
or a place to rest
my tired, heavy head..
I laugh and smile
but deep inside
theyre tearing me apart,
and in my dreams
theres no love there
to calm my aching heart..
Again I smile
and put on the mask
that they always expect..
But secret tears come
and my soul weeps,
feeling such neglect..
And such as this
I tell no-one but
within my looseleaf pages,
I write my heart out
and my thoughts..
of which it has been ages..

Inside of me..

Inside my skin theres a joy
that I cant point out,
that I cannot describe
Inside my shy exterior
theres a love
I try to hide;
Far away from hurt
and the world
in which I live,
Is you settled there
waiting for me
with all this love to give;
Within the long hours
and the days Ive spent
with desperate sighs
All that just stopped,
it all went away
when I looked into ur eyes;
For this I tell you
in a humble and such
strange serenity,
You know these words
and timeless dreams
are all disguised as me;
The long, dark years
spent getting hurt
meant another looming fall,
Now your gentle hand,
and endearing smile
contradicts its all..
I cant describe the peace
I feel when you are there
letting me believe -
I take a breath, and jump
into a new unknown..
and there you are with me.