Joining Hearts- Chapter 2 (part 1)

Chapter 2

          Hank was in pain. He'd been tracking outlaws as a bounty hunter for thirteen years now and this time he was in Colorado. As he winced from his pain, he suddenly realized that this was the first time he had ever been shot. Sure he had been banged up a few times, having been on the receiving end of some punches and he even had scars from a few knife wounds but this was a pain unlike any he'd ever known and it hurt like hell. This pain started in his upper thigh and seemed to spread through his entire body as if he were on fire. Hank took a moment to look around his immediate area to make sure he was safe from danger.

          “Of course it’s safe, I finally killed that son-of-a-bitch and it felt damn good.” He managed to sit down against a nearby oak tree as he noticed that he was starting to lose some more blood. “I still need to get that other SOB but damn it, if I don’t get help soon, I might never get the chance.” He tried to stand up to get back on his horse and promptly fell back down as a stab of pain shot through his body. “Damn it!” he cursed as he was not used to being debilitated in this way. His leg was throbbing excessively now and he knew he was in trouble. The only other pain in his life that could even come close to matching this particular pain was slightly different. That pain had been in the form of grief over losing his mother. “I don’t have time for this!” he shouted and as he made one last attempt to climb back onto his horse, the void of unconsciousness overtook him and he passed out. As he did, the events that led up to the loss of his mother came rushing back vividly.

          Hank was seventeen years old when his mother Lucy died. Because her death had been an accident, many things had been left unresolved. Questions had been left unanswered and he would not likely ever get the information he so desperately wanted. The topic that had caused a rift between them was simplified into two words ... his father.

          The year before, he ran across an open letter that had been left in plain view on the table. He did not intend to pry but as he set the dishes out for supper, the sight of his name caught his attention. Because he did not recognize the sender, he went to find his mother to ask her about it. Upon presentation, he could visibly see the color drain from her face and he asked her what was wrong. After much hesitation, she relented and told him that the letter was from his father. For a moment, the room became so quiet that the silence was painful as Hank’s emotions began to spin out of control. His father… alive? He had naturally assumed his father had died when he was a small boy since his mother had never mentioned him and the answer that followed explained why his mother was hesitant to tell him the truth. His father was a Cheyenne Indian.

          Hank was so shocked with those words that he immediately ran out of the house, mounted his horse and rode away as fast as he could. He was too angry to care where he was going. He had too many thoughts and questions running through his head. “How could she do this to him? Had his father ever seen him? Did his father even care?” Hank kept riding on and on until the sun went down making it difficult to go any further. He looked around, and did not realize where he was but it did not matter. He stopped and tied his horse to the nearest tree, gathered some kindling and built a small fire. Hank then realized that he had missed supper and was hungry. Fortunately, he always carried his knife with him and was now very grateful for that. He hunted for something to eat and having satisfied his appetite, sat down on a log next to the fire, staring deeply into the flames trying to sort out his feelings. “My father is an Indian.” he said aloud, as though saying it could make him believe it. “I have Indian blood flowing through me and I am a damn half-breed.” Hank was bewildered and not sure what to do with this information. Indians were savages and they were dangerous. They were society’s outcasts. Out of fear or hatred, people either attacked them or stayed far away from them. He pondered his life and as he did, a few things started to make sense. In school he was always a loner with very few, if any friends. He had figured it was because he was hardly ever there. Not having a father at home, he grew up missing a great deal of school because of the work that was necessary on the farm, especially during harvest. His skin was a little bit darker than theirs was but thought it was because he simply spent more time in the hot sun than they did. Reflecting even further, he recalled that as he got older, some people seemed to eye him strangely or cross to the other side of the street when they came near him. He realized that he had been rejected in some form or another most of his life!

          “Some Father!” Hank shouted up to the star covered sky. “Managed just fine without you then, definitely don’t need you now!” Hank paced around the surrounding area for a little while to finish getting his anger out of his system and to hopefully figure out where he was. A little while later, he realized that he might as well get some sleep and find his way home in the morning. In addition, maybe just maybe, he could have a rational conversation with his mother.

          The next afternoon, Hank guided his horse through the open gate, slowly into the yard. He by no means wanted to face his mother after the way he darted out of there the previous night. As he got down to go put the horse in the barn, he looked toward the house and thought he could see his mother looking out of the window. He found out he was right a few minutes later when he saw her fling open the front door and throw down the broom she was holding as she quickly ran toward him.

“Hank ... Son... How dare you run out of here like that! I was worried about you all night long! I ... I... Are you okay?” she cried with tears running down her face as she gave him a big hug.

“I’m okay.” Hank said distantly, pulling away from his mother as he was still not sure how he was feeling towards her at the moment. He grabbed the horse’s reins and turned his back to her as he walked toward the barn. When he was finished, he passed by his mother without looking at her. “We need to talk,” he said bitterly as he kept walking towards the house. Lucy hesitantly followed. Somehow, she knew this day would come and she had dreaded it for years. “Damn him.” she silently cursed as she walked up the front steps into the house. “Damn that man for making me do this to my son.”

          Hank was already sitting at the kitchen table when his mother entered the house. He seemed to be lost in thought.

          “Honey?”

          Hank slowly looked up at his mother. “This table is where it all started; it might as well be where it is finished.”

          “I am so sorry we have to do this.” Lucy cried as she pulled out her chair to sit down.

          “Sorry that we have to do this or sorry that I found out? We should have done this sooner. Oh say, when I was a child? How could you have kept this from me, Mama? Didn’t you think I would have found out eventually?” Hank winced as he fought back tears now. The anger had passed and he was starting to feel hurt from the betrayal. This was his mother! The only family he had ever known! In fact, that was something he wanted to know. “Why not start with that very question?” Hank thought.

          “What happened Mama, why don’t I have any kin?”

          “Actually you do, you have just never met them. Let me figure out where to begin.” Lucy said as she paused for a long moment. “It all started when I was your age. I was sixteen and had gotten into an argument with my parents one night over a man. They were telling me that they had arranged for me to marry the local banker and I wanted nothing to do with it. You have to understand, he was an overweight, greasy looking man that was more than thirty years older than me. I was scared of him and they only wanted to marry me off so they could get a loan to buy equipment for the farm. They did not tell me that of course, I just overheard them talking about money a few days before they sprung that news on me. My father was insistent that I was not going to get out of it so that night I ran away. I ran to my room, packed a few clothes and grabbed what little money I had. I had no idea where I was going but I knew I was not staying and being forced into marriage. I lit a lamp, snuck out of the house a little after midnight, and started walking. I walked for several hours and the next thing I knew, I was lost in the woods. Since I had left in the middle of the night, it was too soon for anyone to notice my absence so I decided to lay down and tried to get some sleep. The next morning I woke up and tried to get my bearings so I could keep walking somewhere, anywhere, just as long as it was away from my parents. That was the day I met Screaming Eagle.” Lucy paused here, as she seemed to be temporarily lost in thought. What Hank did not know was that the events that took place during this time were a little more intimate than she wanted to share.

          “Mother?” Hank jolted Lucy back to the present. “Where were you? Is there something you are not telling me?”

          “No dear, I am telling you what you need to know. I was just caught up in the moment. It has been a long time since I have revisited that part of my past. I’m sorry, let me continue.”

         The next day, while he was out hunting, the search party found me and took me home. I was not even able to tell him goodbye. After my little adventure, my parents were furious at me and more determined than ever that I was going to marry the banker. I was now a burden that was hard to control and he was going to be the man to tame me. Fortunately, to avoid a scandal and for my mother to save face, they did not rush us to the altar. He would have time to court me and she could have a big to-do and invite all of her friends. There was going to be no way for me to get out of the marriage. In fact, the day after I returned home, my father went down to the bank and signed the papers for a loan, sealing my fate to that man.”

          “Well, something must have happened.”

          “Oh, it happened alright. During the following months that the banker was courting me and my mother was planning the wedding, I was so happy that they thought I was coming around to the idea of marrying that boor. What they did not know was that your father and I were I were meeting in secret the entire time. I was happy because I was in love with someone else and they had no idea. Then, a couple of weeks before the wedding, I had started feeling not quite right. I was beginning to feel sick and nauseous and I was even too tired to do my chores. Once my clothes started getting tight on me, I realized that I was pregnant and I was thrilled! I knew my parents would be angry so I decided that I would not tell them. I would tell your father how much I loved him, that I was pregnant with his baby and we could run away and get married. I was so excited about my plan that I secretly packed a bag, stuck it under my bed, and waited for the next time I would see him. I could barely contain my excitement. When your father showed up a few days later, he asked me why I was so giddy and I told him. For a moment, he did not say anything and I was confused. I looked up at him and asked him what the problem was. He then hesitantly responded with three little words that I would never forget … “I’m already married.” I thought those secret visits were because he was an Indian and he was protecting me. I never dreamt that he might have been protecting himself.”

          Hank looked at his mother to see tears streaming down her cheeks and was hit by the realization that he was not the only one affected by this. “Mama? …”

          Lucy stood up. “I can’t do this anymore tonight. It is just too hard revisiting these memories. We will talk more tomorrow.” Having said that, she promptly and silently left the room. A few moments later, Hank heard her door close and he knew he would not be seeing her the rest of the evening.

          He got up from the table and walked out the front door, staring into the blackness of the night trying to comprehend everything he had just heard. He had to admit that now; he even had a little compassion for his mother as he realized she must have really been in love with his father. He had to know the rest of the story and why things ended up the way, they did. He went back inside and down the hallway. As he raised his hand to knock on the door, he heard muffled sobs coming from the other side. Deciding to let it rest for the evening, he retired to his room where he lay awake for several hours before finally falling off to a fitful sleep.