Writer's Block

The obsessive compulsive reaction in all of me is driving me mad. The paranoia of finding negativism when I open the window screams at me like a million banshees, it’s almost too much to bear. What’s left to understand? What in the hell is left to learn? Brainstorming sessions turned to a horrid mess that’s only missing a pool of blood under this disaster of words by a critic’s gun. Is he grinning? Is he crying? Is he…?

Blank screen, blank paper, and blank mind. Another brainstorming session gone to waste and I haven’t even pushed one single key and I’m already shedding tears of despair and failure. The niche in my corner looks perfect cuddly and comfortable and this wooden chair seem to grow splinters after every second I sit here staring at the bright light. My fingers bleed from where my nails used to be and my eyes burn from the wounding shine; I wouldn’t be surprised if my mind was mush now. Dear God, give me words. I’d do whatever for my blood to be ink, for my heart to beat ideas.

Like a stone wall breaking my nose in milliseconds, I cannot type a single letter, utter a single word, nor finish a single sentence. What lies beyond the blankness in front of me I cannot tell, nor do I dare imagine. A lush and full story that’ll make some cry and others smile. Letters intertwined and coming together to form something that’ll prick more emotions than any painting, move more feelings than any song and anger more than any freedom speech. But, like a roadblock, it hits me. Stone hard and grinning behind bricks, we meet yet again.

I’ve battled pain and death and fought the mightiest of foes and yet I stand a childish man in front of this evil. Without any ideas to beat it, without any ideas, at all! What am I to do? Cry in the face of adversity and whimper in the aftermath of a critic’s poisoned arrow? No more wounding shots, no more bleeding minds. In the wake of my final disaster, only the wall will worry about my bleeding brain now. Am I understandable? Have you seen blankness, too? Nodded your head in approval? If you have, this same bullet will help you, too.