The First

As I approached the door to our dorm room, I secretly hoped she wouldn't be there when I entered. We had been sharing a room for about three months and in that time my life had been changing so rapidly that I could hardly recognize it any longer. I had been struggling for so long, trying to convince myself that I wasn't one of "those" people..."one of those perverts" as my mom would say. I had dated plenty of men, slept with some of them also, but I could never figure out what all of the fuss was about. What was so great about it anyway? Then I would remember my mother's words, "Well, sex is really just for the man anyway." Maybe she was right, but I couldn't help but think that there was something missing.

As I entered my room, she welcomed me with a lazy grin. "Hey you, how was practice?"

"Crappy, I pulled that back muscle again. I can hardly manage to swing a club."

"That sucks." she replied as she was turning her attention back to her studies.

Thankful that she had averted her gaze, I sank down into my bed, grabbed my Sociology book, and made a show of beginning to study. My mind wasn't on school, though. It was on the way the soft light of the lamp accented the red in her short hair, the way her skin looked under the glow...soft and sleek. Then there were her eyes, they were the color of the ocean before a storm. Jesus, knock it off! Just because she told you that she had been with a woman before doesn't mean that she wants to be with you. It doesn't matter anyway, you're straight for Christ's sake!

I shook the thoughts from my head and closed the book...sleep was what I needed. I tried to get comfortable but with every move I made my back felt like it was on fire. I groaned, trying to find a position that would ease the pain.

"Come here." she said, placing her books on the desk beside her bed.

"Huh?"

"I said come here. I'm not going to be able to concentrate with you over there grunting and groaning all night long."

Wordlessly, I acquiesced and went over to her bed.

"Take your shirt off and lay face down." she commanded, sliding up on the bed to make room for me.

Oh God, this is all I need. She looked as if she was in no mood to be argued with, so I did as she asked. She stradled me, gently resting her weight on my butt, and began to massage my back. Her touch was soft and gentle as she slowly began to work on the area causing my pain.

"Jesus, you're so tight...it's your whole damn back." she said while leaning closer to me and massaging with more conviction.

I groaned, because the massage was nice, I told myself...but that didn't explain the heat and tingling I felt wherever her hands had lingered. My breathing had become uneven, as I struggled to get it under control, I felt the warm heat between my thighs. No. No. No. This is NOT happening to me. As I repeated that mantra in my head suddenly I became aware of something else. The hands on my back were no longer gentle but possesive, her breathing sounded strained. Oh my God, is this really happening?

Attempting to make sense out of everything, I said, "Hey, don't wear yourself out up there. it already feels much better."

"Roll over." she commanded.

I obeyed and turned over on my back. Her breathing became ragged as she stroked my stomach with hands that now had complete power over me. I tried unsuccessfully to stifle a moan as she cupped my breasts. Ah, God. This is it, isn't it? Please don't let me be wrong about this... I reached up, put my hands beneath her shirt and drew her down on top of me. I met no resistence.

I will never forget the way her lips felt as they touched mine, so soft and so tender. I never dreamed that I could feel something so powerful. The world could have come to an end around us and I never would have known. She and I were the only two people in the world, and in that instant I knew that I was indeed one of "those" people. But it just couldn't be as wrong as people said it was. How could a feeling so primal yet so loving be as sick and perverted as they said it was? No, no way was there anything wrong with the way I was feeling, I knew it in my heart. As we made love that night, she touched my soul and claimed a piece of it as her own. She still has it today...that night she changed my life forever.