The Listener

The Listener

Today was special. For the first time in a very long time I was able to come clean to my folks about the things that were bothering me. I’d usually keep them inside. I’d rather not talk about my pain at all. I kept it within in hopes that it’ll just disappear. Not knowing that it’ll only poor over into different areas of my life. The pain turned into rage because I didn’t express it when it first manifested itself. Because pain always manages to find its way out, it came out in many different forms. I had fights at school, tried drugs, totally disrespected my parents and friends. I became jealous of friends who had close relationships with their parents. I didn’t know that all I had to do was talk about my problems. Talking about your problems gives you internal healing. But you need a listener. Your listener can be whomever or whatever you want it to be. Your listener can be a pen and paper. It can be your favorite stuffed animal. It can be your tears. It can be someone you trust. It can even be you. When it’s you, it’s called thinking. You may say, “Duh!” But read a little more. When you sit and think your problems through, you now have the pleasure of listening to two voices. Yours and God’s. After I saw that my other listeners were just making my problems worse, I chose God. That’s the best listener any person could ever choose. Sometimes people choose the wrong listener. I know! Because I did. I chose drugs to be my listener. I chose jealousy and rage. When I chose them, they took over and did the thinking for me and made my situation worse. But when you choose God and let him take over he will definitely make everything alright. Now, you may ask, when did she learn all of this? I’ve always known this. My parents take me to church every Sunday. Christians go through problems as well. What I learned finally manifested itself. I allowed God to be a part of my life. No, this did not happen overnight. Changing your life is a process. You have to identify what it is that’s separating you from the love of God and ask God for the strength to remove it from your life. That’s important. Trust me, we all need Jesus. I know your other question is, what is it that upset her about her parents? Well, I guess I can share it with you. They made me clean the dishes! (laughing) No, I’m just kidding. I was tired of my parents attacking one another. Arguing, cursing and fighting. I was product of my environment. There was pain and anger in my household daily. So I became filled with pain and anger. I didn’t know how to express it so I kept it within. My parents became filled with rage because of past disappoints. So did I. I was hurt every time I seen them fight and call each other everything but the name that was given to them. They eventually turned into scars because I could not erase the memories. I refused to take sides. But they would come to me in secret and explain their side of the story expecting me to take their side. I was torn. That turned into another layer of anger because I loved them both. I had no one to turn to that would listen. So I chose the first listener I came into contact with. Marijuana. My friends had it. Marijuana was their listener. So it became mine as well. Then came Outrage. I really enjoyed Outrage because I felt that Outrage took care of my problems exactly how I envisioned. Punching someone’s face in! (laughing) What can I say? Finally, I found Jesus. When Jesus became my listener, things changed for the better. Because I changed for the better. When you change your attitude about how to your handle problems, you change your life. Most of the time, the outcome of a situation is based on how you chose to deal with the problem in the first place. Sometimes things just happen. But most of the time we make situations worse. But when you get Jesus involved, things will always turn out alright. So I want to ask. Who is your listener? Make it Jesus.

Author: Iris N. White