Sometimes it Stinks to be a Sneaker

You probably know me as “Flash”. I’m THE sneaker worn by that world famous basketball player, Mickey “The Elevator” James. He is the best player in the whole world. I helped him to get famous you know. Not to toot my own horn here, but it was my move, the double back step leap, which made his career. Then he dumps me, just like that. "No "thank you," no "nice knowing ya," nothing..." just outta there, like yesterday’s garbage. I was devastated. My whole world was turned upside down. I thought my life was over until the day I met Cody.

It all started about a year ago. Right before Basketball season started. I was just out of the manufacturing plant, a rookie really, but ready to take on the world. My first place was a one room cardboard box. It was a little cramped, but it had a real homey feel to it. It was on the upper West side though, and it is all about location, location, location.

I’d been sitting up on the shelf for what seemed like weeks, contemplating my life, when all of a sudden the roof is ripped off of my box. There I was breathing fresh air and feeling the warm fluorescent lights for the first time since I was made and loving it. I mean, I just naturally smell great, being real leather and all, but there was no central air in my place so it could get kind of stagnant in there. Besides, I’m a size 10 and I know they must have had me in a size 9 box.

Anyway, back to my story. So I'm out and I'm free and this really BIG dude has
me in his hand and he's checking me out. He's tugging on my laces and generally
starting to annoy me. The nerve! I was shocked and none too happy about it, let me tell you! I wanted to scream at him, whoa, buddy . . . hold 'em up there, cowboy! When his foot came in my vicinity, it was certainly NOT fresh air that assaulted my senses, if you get my drift! NO WAY! Anyway, he tried to cram that big 'ol foot in! Get out of here! I struggled every step of the way to get those smelly Vienna sausage toes away from my senses! But here's a trade secret. Shh! Don't tell anybody, okay? It's easy enough; all I have to do is take a really deep breath and I pooch out everywhere, offering as little room as possible inside. That's just between you and me, okay?

Finally, after he nearly caused me internal injuries, the big dude with the stinky digits gives up. I guess he figured out who he was messing with. It’s a good thing, too or I would have put the big hurt on him. P-U! Anyway, I had just about caught my breath when I felt another pair of hands on me. They were slowly loosening my laces, making me more comfortable. I braced myself for another assault, but none came.

This foot just eased right on in. It didn’t hurt a bit and it smelled fresh and kind of minty. It was okay, as feet go, and it fit me perfectly. As a matter of fact, when I hit the ground running, it was like that foot was made for me. We were running and jumping and sliding and slamming. We had a blast. “The Elevator” and I made a great team. We could jump the highest most of the time, we ran the fastest, and there wasn’t another sole around that could do the double back step leap like I could. I was a natural born basketball sneaker.

“The Elevator” would take me out for a few hours everyday. I got plenty of fresh air and exercise, everything a sneaker needs. The only downside was, whenever we were done practicing for the day, I had to go home to my new digs. It was a high rise apartment building. You know, a two-story with no windows to speak off, just some little slats that barely let any light in at all. It had thin metal walls and when the door slammed it would have made my teeth rattle, if I had any.

The building was called the locker, and it must have been in a crowded neighborhood because I could hear doors slamming all over the block. To top it all off, I had to share it with a couple of roommates, “Jim Shorts” and “Tee Shirt”. I don’t normally like to talk bad about others, but those two had some major hygiene issues. They stunk that place up something awful, and then they had the nerve to try and say it was coming from me. Yeah, right!

I managed to get through those times only because I knew that “The Elevator” would come for me. We worked really hard out there on the court. Everyone always clapped and cheered for us. Not only were we fast and able to make those incredible jumps, but man did we ever look GOOD! Well, I did at least, he just had pretty feet.

For a while, we were IT. Everyone always ran up to us after the games and wanted autographs and pictures and even hugs. I didn’t ever get hugs, but they always asked about me. I heard them all the time, kids and reporters saying, “What size sneakers do you wear?” or “Where can I get a pair of sneakers like yours?” The little kids would beg their mommies, “Please, please buy me some just like “The Elevator” wears.” I was so proud. I thought I had it made…until one day after the game.

Instead of being taken home, I was tossed into a big canvas bag. Jim and Tee must have been having their family reunions in there because they were there too, with all of the other Shorts and Shirts family members. There was a whole mess of them. There were some others too that I did not recognize. Before long we were on the move. It was a little disorienting and I did not know where we were being taken. More and more things kept getting thrown on top of me including sweaty socks of all sizes and I could barely breathe.

All at once, the motion stopped. I got picked up then along with my roommates and several nasty smelling socks. I might not have mentioned this before, but we sneakers have no known natural enemies, except for one-- socks! We are sworn adversaries. Yet here I was being covered with them. I was blinded by a pair of particularly stinky ones and I could not see where I was being thrown. But I could feel myself being hurled somewhere.

I was just thinking that this situation was not looking very good for me when the world began to quiver and shake and water started pouring onto me from all sides. It was coming in fast and all of these ominous white bubbles started appearing everywhere and multiplying right before my very eyes, all twelve of them. The bubbles were consuming everything in their path, including me. The water kept rising until I was completely immersed all the way up to the tips of my laces. Suddenly the water stopped pouring in and I thought that I would be all right if I could just push my way to the top of the pile of gross wet socks.

The next thing I knew I was being sucked under again. There was a big propeller looking thing in the middle of the room and it started turning back and forth making a half circle in one direction, before switching to the other direction and making another half turn. It kept bouncing me all around and off the walls. The whole experience was terrifying. Even now just thinking about it gives me the creeps. Let’s move on, shall we?

When all of the water started to recede, I thought that was it. I thanked the big shoemaker in the sky, as I asked to please be returned to my safe dark locker, smelly roommates and all. I soon discovered that was not in the plan for me. Instead, the giant propeller started up again, but this time instead of making half turns it just started spinning. Slowly at first, but it started to gain momentum with each rotation. I was thrown head first against the cold steel wall. I could not move no matter how hard I tried. I was suspended; it seemed, in mid-air with my tongue pressed against the side. Just when I thought it would never stop turning, it did. Slam! That fast, I hit the bottom with a loud thud. In seconds I was covered once again with socks falling on top of me from every direction. Did I mention how much I hate socks?

I was shaking, coughing and my laces were all tangled up around Jim Shorts. I was choking myself to death with every passing second. I was on the verge of unconsciousness when I was abruptly picked up and heaved into yet another torture chamber. This one while roomier, proved to be even worse than the first one. Not only did it do the whole spinning thing, bouncing me from top to bottom, side to side and back again, but all the while it spit fire-hot air at me. I was almost burned to a crisp, I tell you. I think I have heard of this place before. I heard “The Elevator” more than once, telling people he did not like to go there.

I am a survivor though. I made it through and was none too much worse for the wear. I was a little wiser, no longer a stranger to the pitfalls that life sometimes has to offer. I knew then that there was nothing that I could not handle from that point on. So, when I was taken from that room and tossed into a deep dark hole, it did not faze me. I eventually ended up in what was called a resale shop.

At first I was really depressed. I had been ditched. I gave “The Elevator” the best three months of my life and how did he repay me? No goodbye, no nothing! He just threw me out. I sat on that shelf for weeks feeling sorry for myself, thinking no one cared about me. All around me there were other shoes. There were high heels, bunny slippers, and cowboy boots. They were all in the same fix as me. That is… until Cody found me one day.

He picked me up and tried me on and man did it feel good to be walking and running and jumping again. I have been with him ever since. It is different here now. Cody keeps me on his feet all day long, every day. No more being stuffed into a crowded apartment. I sleep at the foot of his bed and I’m with him from the time he gets up in the morning till the time he goes to bed at night.

We go everywhere together. He takes me to school, the park, bike riding, and even skate boarding. Sometimes he gets me wet by jumping in puddles or playing in the rain, but that’s okay. It is fun to do those things with him, because I love him. He is the perfect young man. Well, except for that smell, but hey, who is really perfect anyway? I guess there is a price to be paid for a life like this. Even though for the last couple of weeks it has been getting pretty rank in here, it's not that bad. I would not trade him for the world. At least I know he would never torture me and abandon me like “The Elevator” did.

On the way home from school today we got caught in the rain again. We are soaked. I hear Cody’s mom in the distance. She is telling me not to leave tracks on the rug. I try hard not to, but it’s not always easy. Here she comes. I hope she doesn’t get mad at me. “Whoosh, Okay, I’m safe." She just told Cody to strip off those wet things and put them in the laundry hamper, whatever that is. It must be something special though, she really made a big deal out of it. How cool, that she told him not to forget about me. It’s so nice to be included.

Yep, this is working out beautifully. I am so lucky to have found a nice place to live like this one. The perfect kid, lot’s of fun….what the? HEY! Wait a minute! What are you doing? I’m surrounded by dirty stinky socks! Oh NO! Don’t put me in there! HELP! Somebody get me out of here!!!