poems from youth

June 29 004

I look at the ground
To steady my feet
Study my emotions
But the ground falls away
Into a cloud of colors
Dark bright
Confused
I try to catch the fog with the mind
Once again fades away
Past the night
In forgotten lands lit only by pain
Forgotten in life
****

June 28, 004

Thinking
Emotions cloud thoughts
I push away
the focus
that lurks
in the back
in the dark
of my mind

Pushing away
To deal with later
Remaining still stalks
Inevitable
Impossible
****

June 28, 004

Pushing away emotions
Until tomorrow
I forge ahead into the now
Attempting to forget
Leave behind whom I am
Strip heart from mind
To leave it behind
Lingering in the dust
Hopefully forgotten
By me
By the world
****


March 18, 003

I write but
The words
Don’t matter
The stroke of the pen
Wont matter

What matters
Is that the words take form
I realize the reasons
The words exist

Reasons I
Desire to ignore
I can hide
No more

Too painful
To know
Too stubborn
To hide
Too real
To rationalize
And they remain

I write
But the words
Don’t matter
I can no longer
Escape
****

Clouded windows
Removed myself from this world

Clouded windows
I refuse to look through the fog

I am afraid of what I might not see
Fears of what the world may not show
I refuse to think
Refuse to feel
Refuse to see
So afraid my world is real

Clouded windows
Safe within
And yet I’m suffocating
I refuse to think
Refuse to feel
So afraid my world may not be real