Table 6.

Table nr. 6.

On the top of the waiter’s tray two beers were flying through the smoky, noisy air of the pub straight to table number six. Two beers were coming, and two chaps in their late twenties were eagerly waiting for them. Both were smoking long cigars, so you could scarcely see their faces. The jazz band played in midst of an opaque cloud of smoke, and their music became quite tame by the time it reached table number six. The two guys grabbed the bottles with haste, and after a few giant draughts, talking started.

‘And what about Suzanne?’ The bald chap posed the first question.

‘Suzanne…? Don’t mention her name. She drove me mad,’ said the other man with a bitter smile. He was wearing an old-fashioned shirt with vivid summer patterns.

‘What, aren’t you together anymore?’

‘Are you kidding? No, we departed two or three months… err, some time ago.’

‘Really? Sorry, I didn’t know. What was the matter, she looked quite gorgeous, and I’m sure she was a kind girl.’

‘She looked gorgeous indeed, and she was a kind girl, indeed, just too kind with a particular plumber,’ said the other man with an intense tone of voice.

‘Oh, dear friend, you keep struggling with girls.’

‘Yeah, it’s an everlasting war, and I think I lose each and every battle of it. So no prospect of victory,’ said the man in the colourful shirt.

‘Don’t be so pessimistic.’

‘Pessimistic? Me? Only this year I had some eight girlfriends. And it’s only April!’

‘But Suzanne? She even moved to your place, didn’t she?’

‘Yes, she did, and I think that was the core problem after all.’

‘Why?’ asked the bald man after finishing his beer. No problem, because table number six was a special place in this pub. Who could book it (had to be booked at least three or four days in advance) had to stay there until closing, but in exchange he received a waiter-priority. Which meant that anytime a guest at table number six rang the bell, the waiter aborted his current work, and flew there to take the order. So the bald chap rang the bell and even the fog of smoke seemed to fade away for a moment to help the waiter get to the special table as quickly as possible. In two minutes’ time, another pair of bottles was sailing through the smoke towards table number six.

‘Great place, isn’t it?’ asked the guy in the strange shirt.

‘Sure, but please tell me, what happened to Suzanne?’ The bald guy looked with eyes reflecting great enthusiasm.

‘You know, she moved to my place. She had twenty tons of stuff, she brought her herbs, her bicycle, her puppy, her everything. No problem, although that silly little dog drove me mad. But she had no job, therefore she was shopping all the day to occupy herself. No problem either, but to do so, she needed money. A lot of money. She didn’t work, so she didn’t have money. But she spent a lot, a whole lot, I mean slowly we were running out of space in my little two-room flat. Despite, the real problem was of another kind. She couldn’t accept my job. She was looking at me working in front of my computer, and I noticed that her face was puzzled. I asked her what the problem was. And she said “I don’t understand your job.” “Well, it’s not a big deal,” I replied, “I am a freelance translator, who works on projects distributed through the internet.” And do you know what she said? “I know what your job is, just I can’t understand it. You are sitting in front of a computer which assists you in your work, you work for people you meet not more than twice a year, and you are working on non-existent documents, called files, or whatever. Do you call this a normal job?” Well, I tried to explain to her that documents exist even if they are not put on paper. I tried to tell her that I do the same thing that traditional translators do just with the latest methods, and I tried to explain everything, but her face was becoming more and more perplexed.

‘And what happened?’ asked the bald one, as he rang the bell. Soon two new bottles were standing on the wooden top of table number six.

‘Well, next morning, during breakfast, she threw her plate on the ground. I knew what she was going to say. “You are not a man with a proper job. With my needs, I want a financially well-situated kind of man, who is not working on virtual donnowhats like you.” “But honey,” I told her “I earn more than a company director, what else do you want?” It was the worst thing I could say. She began crying, and told me in her most threatening tone “Don’t you understand me? I simply don’t care about your cash, I don’t need anyone’s money. But I get mad of this computer-aided nonsense. Either stop this job forever, or I’m gonna leave you.” Well, this was unfair. Before Suzanne, in year 2004, I had not less than fifteen girlfriends. The longest affair was two months with Jennie, but she was abroad five weeks from that. So I was in a desperate situation. Should I risk my dream job for the statistically probable four and a half weeks to be spent with Suzy? I couldn’t afford it.’

‘Wait a minute, am I catching it? She spent your money, she lived in your flat and yet she told you that she doesn’t care about your cash? Amazing…’ The bald guy was staring with an idiotic smile.

‘Yes, and I asked for some time. She gave me one week, and during this period she looked at me with a lethal fire burning in her eyes. And she spent my money with a furious anger. I was going mad, I couldn’t decide, because she was a beautiful girl, like a glamorous Barbie doll, and I madly loved her.’

‘And what did you do?’

‘Well, you know, I began this year with the obligation of finding a woman whom I could marry. I felt that Suzy is that woman. That she is the one for which I had to fight myself through the previous hundreds of girls. I decided to give up my job and apply for the position of a driver at a taxi company. All I wanted at that time was to become the taxi driver husband of Suzy, and I loved to imagine her coming home with our little boys from the park on a lazy Sunday, me washing the car in front of our house with a garden…'

‘What was the problem then? You decided to do what she wanted, so you could…’ the bald guy couldn’t finish as the other one went on with his elegiac tale.

‘I think Heaven didn’t want this marriage. They just want me to keep on with my tormented voyage, not to stop anymore, and… Well, I drank a bit too much, I’m afraid. So, if Suzy wasn’t shopping, then she was in the bathroom. On the last day of the proposed week I had to go for a consultation to the company (you know, this was one of the two consultations per year). I was even preparing to announce my final resignation, but thanks God I couldn’t do it, because my boss was in a hurry, and didn't really care about my problems. I had to travel to the capital, so I was away the whole day. When I arrived home around eight, the flat was empty. And the rest is history; I think the whole town knows it.’ As an effect of the beers and the recall of the story, the man wearing a shirt became a bit gloomy. He let out a huge cloud of cigar smoke, just as if he wanted to let sad memories fly away with the smoke.

‘No, I don’t know anything, but seems to be a thrilling turn. What did she do?’ The fourth pair of bottles landed safely on table number six. Before getting on with the story, both drank a half-bottle sip from the beer.

‘Well, Suzy was very bored, alone in the flat, me away, no money (actually, I was running out of cash), so she was in the bathroom, holding a day-length bathing marathon. Unfortunately, the bathroom wasn’t ready for the challenge. She discovered that the whole flat was sinking in her bathwater. Then she called me on my cellar and asked me what to do. In the middle of my consultation I could only say her “Get a plumber!” I shouldn’t have done it. The plumber arrived and repaired the water supply, and poor Suzy was so astonished that she couldn’t resist him. I don’t exactly know what happened then. But on that day she moved to the plumber’s place, and as far as I know, she still lives there. By the way, this is the place where we had our last talk…’

‘You mean you met at table number six? Were you talking all night long? And how could you book it so late?’ asked the bald man, who was mutely shocked by the fact that not so long ago Suzy sat at the place where he was sitting now.

‘Well, the guys saw I was in a situation, and they somehow managed to give me number six. But we didn’t talk all night. She left after half an hour, and only I was drinking all night long. I got so drunk by closing that I couldn’t go home. I had to sleep in the kitchen on seats pushed together for me.’

‘Sounds bitter. Shouldn’t we drink a short?’ Table number six soon hosted two cups of excellent Hungarian paprika brandy.

‘Didn’t you lose control, I mean getting mad or something? You loved her and she cheated you in such a way! I should have knocked my head in the wall.’ The bald man was thinking about their peculiar story.

‘You see, you notice such matters for the first hundred times. But I had innumerable girlfriends in the last few years, and man gets used to everything, even to saying goodbye to or hearing goodbye from a girl. On the other hand, you know me. I had so many girlfriends, and I really loved all of them. I am never sad for a long time, because there are so many girls left, and in a few days I am again in love with someone. I had five girlfriends since Suzy, and I truly adored them.’ The bald man felt inexplicable relief after hearing this.

‘Well, I’ve been talking for a long time, but man, what about you? Are you getting on well with Mary Ann?’ The man who couldn’t drink so much because of constantly talking now decided to catch on.

‘Yeah, getting along, getting along. We are… thinking about a child.’

‘What? You becoming a father?’ the man wearing the colourful shirt laughed loudly. ‘And what about our evenings spent here at number six? You want children, you want to replace sessions like this with nonstop working, babycrying, always waking up in the night? Is this what you want?’

‘Oh, it’s not so terrible, and after a certain age, man has to…’

‘Bullshit, my friend. Do something because you wanna do it, but not because others usually do it at your age. Everybody’s got his own pace.’

‘Hey, were you not dreaming about Suzy and your children coming home from the park, and so on?’

‘Well, but it was a prospect of ten years or more. No matter, it’s already spoilt. But I’m afraid you will regret being in such a haste. You’re in your twenties, and’

‘I am thirty next year, Mary Ann is thirty this year, and they say it’s the best before thirty.’

‘Well, it’s none of my business, but don’t come to me crying that these bastards are making you mad. You, as a father…’ For a minute or two they were diving in the sea of their own thoughts. Then the apparently more talkative man asked

‘What about your job? Pays well?’

‘Yeah, it’s okay. Good money, bad job, but what can you expect from translating European Union governmental texts? I would happily say it is interesting, but I’ve drunk too much to lie.’

‘Same for me. I have to translate such amounts that I operate like a mental machine typing with 300 miles per hour. I used to be a computer-freak, but now I simply hate it. When Petra left me... Do you remember her, the smart brunette with bewildering eyes and a disarming smile? Oh, she was the most beautiful of all my girlfriends, I loved her so much. But why did I, ah, yes, when she left me, I bought a hammer in the supermarket, and beat my computer into tiny little white and grey pieces. Poor computer, mad of numbers, didn’t understand it. Should computers have eyes or heart, it would have hammered itself for Petra! Er, I think I’m getting really drunk.’

‘Do you know that I envy you? Okay, I’m settled down, but you, you are still full of deep feelings, and you know, I love Mary Ann, but we have been together for seven years, and I really love her, but the whole thing is not so exciting anymore. She is always there, she is always ready, but I would like her sometimes to disappear, I would sometimes like to be forced to re-win her grace. I love her, but I sometimes would like to fight for my right to love her, do you understand me?’

‘Yeah, that’s the point. Every man is a man, a proper man, and what a proper man needs is fighting for a proper woman, no matter if she is his wife, his mistress, or a girl only present in his dreams. Colonel, if you have an army, you need a war! This brandy is superb. Another one?’

‘Sure. You are right, and not only in brandy matters. I don’t know what should I do.’

‘Nothing, just look at me. Slowly I am getting mad of another girlfriend in every three or four weeks. Still I do it, because I feel I’ve got to do it. Everybody is laughing at me, but I don’t care. You should do what you really feel you’ve got to do…huh, damned Hungarian drink.’

The man in Hawaii shirt was tricky, he ordered two cups of brandy for both of them, and it proved to be too much. After closing, the friends were escorted to the kitchen, where you couldn’t take a step without bumping into a seat, so many of them were pushed together for the guys. The waiter cleared away table number six, which was covered with empty beer glasses and brandy cups.

***

A few months later, table number six was booked for the bald guy and his friend again. But now it was more crowded, as two girls were sitting with them.

‘And how could you meet, I mean you didn’t ask her phone number, nothing. A lucky chance meeting?’ asked the man, who was wearing a yellow T-shirt this time.

‘You remember, we were talking all night long, and I felt from your tale that Suzy is…a fantastic girl, and that her erratic way of thinking is just what I want. So, after waking up at 5 in the pub’s kitchen I felt something driving me out of the building, commanding me straight to the next phone box, and…’ the bald man stopped for a short moment. Six eyes were watching him pretentiously.

‘I called all the plumbers in the town, one by one. I told them that I was seeking for my sister called Suzy and that I had just arrived from my hometown, and all I knew was that she lived with a plumber. I kept phoning for half an hour, and only the last plumber in the phonebook was left. My heart was beating loudly. The phone was ringing, and after a short while, the plumber answered. I told him the passage I had already known by heart. And he said “Yes, she’s here.” I was frightened. Suzy asked with a sleepy voice “Yes?” I told her “I am a bald man, and I’ve got to meet you, Suzy.” And the rest is history.’

‘Not history but my favourite story.’ commented Suzy. ‘Can you imagine it? You wake up in the early dawn. Your plumber boyfriend is already plumbing something, and someone calls you, and grabs you out from the boredom of your life. It was such a wonder, I moved to this mad man on that very day.’

They drank their beers. The bald man continued.

‘Now, tell me about you two, you made me quite a shock for the first time.’ Mary Ann and the T-shirt man were sitting opposite him, and they obviously had an affair. Mary Ann began talking.

‘It’s a funny story, indeed. After you told me what happened to you and Suzy, I was a bit confused. First I couldn’t understand you, nor Suzy, but I knew that our relationship was not the same as in the old times. I knew you were right in stating that we were empty for each other, yet it was unusual. The freedom, the fact that you weren’t there in every moment of my life, this was something new. First I was taking a bath in my sorrow, then I realised that in my heart there is no sorrow at all. I enjoyed this new gift of freedom, I took long walks in the city, I read books, I made up for everything I missed previously.’ Here the man wearing a T-shirt took over the story.

‘One day I finished a longer translation job, and I felt that I have enough of this for a time. I suspended my services for a few months. I decided to do something more practical, less profitable, something that I can see really assists people in some way. I chose to do pizza delivery with a little moped. And where did I have to deliver my first pizza? Of course, to Mary Ann. I never forget, it was a quattro formaggio plus two cans of beer. I rang the bell, and Mary Ann opened it.’

‘I saw that man in a silly Hawaii shirt, and I was thinking that he is doing something solely for me, and this again was something new. Now I could understand Suzy, both for the plumber and for you. Of course, I would never fall for a pizza-man, but he was so kind, and to tell the truth, his eyes were so beautiful, I couldn’t resist. I didn’t let him deliver any more pizzas that night. And the rest is history, with certain traces regarding our common future…’ Here Mary Ann stroke her belly, and a sudden stillness settled around table number six. The bald man broke it.

‘Do you mean…are… are you expecting? It’s really wonderful! Waiter, four paprika brandies, please… or no, only three! I simply can’t believe, life is such a, it’s such a…’ The bald man was very happy.

It was a long night again, but no one finished in the kitchen this time. After a few drinks and a dinner they left the place. The bald man opened the door of a cab, and drove them away with the taxi sign unlit. They left table number six in the abandoned pub. It stood still in the smoke, with that strange silence of things that never change.