Change of heart

He looked into her eyes, wrapped his arms around her waist, and pulled her close to him. “I’m not like other guys. I just want you to know.” He paused. “Do you not believe me?” He frowned with a hurt look on his face.
She gazed up into his eyes, and placed her fingers on his lips. “ I believe you. I just want this to work out.”
“Everything works out in the end.” He kissed her fingers, then her forehead. “Nik if you aren’t ready for this…then just tell me. It wont change the way I feel about you. I’m not going to force you to do something you don’t want to.” Adam ran his fingers across her lower back. He placed his other hand on her cheek.
Nik pulled out of his arms, grabbed his hand and lead him to her bed. She sat down, looked up at him and sighed. “I’m just not ready. Couldn’t we watch a movie or something?”
To her surprise he smiled, sat down next to her and turned on the television. She was relieved to see that he didn’t hate her. But there was something different; he seemed more cold. Nik ignored it, and told herself to enjoy the night.
Adam looked at his watch, got up and headed to the door. “It’s getting late babe. I’ll catch you later.” And with that he left.
Nik sat there shocked not knowing what to think. “I hope I didn’t make a mistake.” She laid flat on her back and eventually fell asleep.
Nik was the girl who was always dreaming of her prince charming. She was the type of person who had her dream wedding planned out, with the perfect husband, kids, and house, at age 11. She had always dreamed of being in love.
The next day Nik was genuinely happy. She hadn’t felt that way for a long time. Nik couldn’t wait to see Adam later that day. It was 1:35 pm, and their date wasn’t until 5:00pm. But Nik had always been impatient. So she decided to get ready. The hours flew by. She started to think she wasn’t going to have enough time to get ready. It was 4:56 when the phone rang. She placed her lipstick down next to the sink. Rubbed her lips together in front of the mirror and walked to the phone. Nik reached the phone on the sixth ring, and picked it up.

“Hello?”
“Hi…Nik?”
“Yeah, hey.”
“It’s Adam.”
“Oh really? I thought it was someone else. I’m kidding babe, I knew it was you. What’s going on?”
“We really need to talk.”
At this point Nik had noticed something different. He hadn’t talked in this tone to her before. His voice was flat, and emotionless. Nik bit her bottom lip nervously, and waited to see what he had to say.
“I want to make this easy for the both of us. I guess you can say I had a change of heart. I think we should break up, and see other people. But don’t get me wrong. I still want to be friends.”
Confused, hurt, and not knowing what to say she replied too cheerfully “Ok.”
He responded a little confused. “You seem happy about this.”
It finally sunk in and she started to cry. “No I’m not happy at all. But hey what can you do, right?” She paused, and the silence seemed to tear at her. She finally said “ I’ll just talk to you later I guess.”
“Wait…don’t you want to talk? Don’t be like that.” He said, acting like nothing had happened.
“No, I’m going to go. I’ll see you around.” Nik hung up the phone. She grabbed her coat and started to walk towards town. Walking always cleared her head.
A few weeks had passed, and it still bothered her that she had lost Adam. Adam had been her first love. To her it was the end of the world. Nik didn’t rest well at night. And this had affected her grades, and attitude. People had noticed she changed, but she wouldn’t open up to them so they couldn’t help her. So finally they decided to deal with the ‘new’ Nik.
Nik had grown sick of crying herself to sleep at night. Especially when it was over something she couldn’t fix. And it occurred to her. She was young, and what exactly is ‘love’ to someone in high school? She had heard people talk about ‘lust at first sight’, but what she felt towards Adam wasn’t that, not even close. If it was lust, she would have given in to his wants. She realized she was in love with the idea of being ‘in love’. This had put a new perspective on things for Nik. She was able to smile again, and mean it. She laughed, and said “I guess it did work out in the end.”