The Ballad Of Jose Quirm

Jose Quirm, tequila worm;
had a crazy thought.
"I'm gonna live out every tale,
in all the porn I've bought."
This would prove a little hard,
like his mighty slug.
He'd never even kissed a girl,
by hell though he could tug!

Jose Quirm, mighty worm;
said from bottle spout.
“Hey there chicas, come and see
my big worm thing pop out.
I’ll satisfy you, yes I will;
you’ll have no time to rest.
For to be loved by Jose Quirm,
is to get it from the best!”

Sanchez Quirm, donkey worm;
hung like Cuervo Holmes.
Would make the senoritas scream,
while pounding on their bones.
He was Jose’s dad it’s true,
alike in every way.
But lack of conquest made him think,
“Dear God my son is gay!”

Jose Quirm, virgin worm;
climbed down the bottles’ side.
He said, “Senorita Puta
let me take you for a ride.
My papa thinks I’m queer, you know;
but I will show him, hey.
When I climb inside your mighty thighs,
you will cry and shout “OLE!”

Surprise a worm, Jose Quirm;
when all that he could see.
Was ten long inches of his girl,
now hanging to her knee!
He thought that when he peeled them back,
true secrets would unlock.
But God Almighty there he saw,
two huevos and a cock!

Jose Quirm, bug-eyed worm;
appalled by what was there.
Said, “I do think that what I see
is more than pa could bear.
I want some gato, then I’ll be;
just like my dad, a man.
But rub that gallo hanging there?
bull shit, you’re joking man!”

Sanchez Quirm, daddy worm;
bambino needs his luck.
If he can't get to make a girl,
he'd settle for a suck.
Crawling up to bottle high,
and screaming to the street.
"Will any senorita here,
relieve my massive meat!"

Jose Quirm, tenor worm;
yelled till he was hoarse.
When no Chiquita heard his words,
he thought of using force.
He crawled onto the bar-room floor
and found hisself a cow.
He grabbed her large plump ankle,
and thought, "O shit what now?"

"Hello meester Jose Quirm;
you lookeeng for a dance?
Or do you weesh I take a look,
at monster een your pants.
I love you long and ride you good,
and shake my hefty frame.
But eef I squeesh your tiny bod,
eet eesn't me to blame."

Jose Quirm, humping worm;
looked up into her face.
Said, "Baby, you can't hurt this snake
once locked in my embrace."
He climbed up in her gorgeous thighs,
and thrust his mighty tool.
Said, "Now you know just what it's like
when screwed by grande mule."

Jose Quirm, smiling worm;
lights up a cigarette.
"That is the best three seconds babe;
you're ever gonna get!
I think you tell your family;
and all the girls you can.
It's time the world was made to see;
That Jose is the MAN!"