The Christmas Gift

Close your eyes;
imagine a faraway land,
with snow so thick,
there’s no seeing the space between your face and hand.

Look in your imagination,
do you see a castle in the snow?
For that is where Santa Claus lives,
with his elves, don’t you know?

He gives presents
to good girls and boys,
spreading Christmas love
and handing out toys.

But what some people
don’t know at all,
is that he gives gifts to bad kids, too.
But they don’t come from the mall.

This is one tale
of such a bad kid—
a mean little girl,
who goes by the name of Sid.

Now Sid was a bad apple,
that was surely right.
She always got her way
and often got into fights.

“Give me the ball!”
she yelled at the other girls,
punching them in the face
and stealing their necklaces made of pearls.

When it was time for Christmas break
and school let out for the year,
she cleaned out her locker
and brewed a scheme to steal Santa’s reindeer.

“I’m going to rob Santa,
that fat bag of poo!”
she bragged to Bobby Stevens
and his best friend Josh, too.

“You can’t rob Santa!”
Josh chimed in and said,
“IF he comes to your house,
you’ll probably be in bed!”

“What do you mean IF?”
She shook her head full of curls,
“I’ll slug you hard,
if you tell Santa I’m not a good girl!”

Then before she left
to get on the bus,
she kicked Josh between the legs
and then grabbed her stuff.

She wrote to Santa Claus,
earlier in October.
She told him she wanted tons of gifts:
teddy bears, candy and a toy dog named Rover.

But then she stewed,
and then she thought.
She came to the conclusion,
that she will take the entire lot.

When she got home,
to her imaginable surprise,
stood her younger brothers,
little Carl and the baby, Guy.

“We heard at school,
what you plan to do.
We want to know, dear sister,
is it true? Is it true?”

Well Sid knew now
that she had been caught,
when she saw Guy’s tears
holding back, as his eyelids fought.

She said, “I don’t know what
you are talking about.
And Guy there is no reason
for you to sit there and pout.”

“You act like Santa
actually cares about you.
On Christmas Eve,
you will get nothing, you two!”

Sid turned and sneered
and then walked away.
“Christmas Eve,” she snarled,
“those goody goodies will pay!”

So when Christmas Eve
oh so finally came,
she was ready
to start her heartless game.

She set up traps,
throughout her whole house.
Sid even tested her little devices
on her brother’s pet mouse.

She froze water on the roof,
to make Santa fall and slip.
She imagined him tumbling,
falling off and doing flips.

Earlier she went to the farmer
and bought a hive of bees!
She placed it gently and carefully
inside the family Christmas tree.

Nails in the chimney,
Ex-lax in the cookies.
“This,” she thought,
“will give Santa Claus the poopies.”

Being mean to her brothers,
those two angelic boys,
she went under the tree,
unwrapped and broke their Christmas toys.

When it was all done,
she wrapped them back up again.
“This,” she said,
“will show them that Santa’s not their friend!”

And at the end of the day,
she hung her sock.
Then she scooted off to bed;
to twelve in the morning, she set her clock.

Fast asleep,
she heard a ring.
The clock went off
and she hit it with a loud ding!

Her plan was in effect,
no turning back.
She was going to steal
Santa’s big sack.

She crept downstairs,
in fear of waking her folks,
when she saw something in the living room
and it gave her a jolt!

Sitting in her father’s
easy chair,
was a man with red coat
and lots of white hair.

She knew in a minute,
as she stood there and paused,
this guy staring back at her
was Santa Claus.

With his bag full of toys
sitting by his side,
she about fainted,
as he looked directly into her eyes.

“Dear little Sidney,
do not fear.
I will not cause you
any harm, my dear.”

Then Santa stood up
and Sid jumped back,
as he dusted himself off
and picked up his sack.

“Your little traps
did not succeed.
And these gifts you wanted,
you will not need.”

“But there is one gift,
I want to give and leave,
a little reminder
that will make you believe.”

Then he reached in his sack
and handed her a box which was small.
She unwrapped the gift and
looking inside, this is what she saw:

Children and folks,
starving down the street.
They had no shelter, warmth,
or an ounce to eat.

Men and women,
in foxholes across the seas,
dying and suffering
to make this country free.

The mightiest vision,
came next to her eyes—
the Christ child babe,
who was born to die.

Not a cry or a whimper
did the babe make,
as wise men and shepherds
paid homage for Heaven’s sake.

Then she felt something
that she hadn’t felt in years—
down Sid’s cheek,
fell a stream of tiny tears.

Santa smiled
and to the chimney he darted,
but not before he bent down
and into Sid’s direction he farted.

“That’s for those Ex-Lax cookies,
you greedy, little brat.
I have to admit,
that I, Santa Claus, fell for that!”

Then he disappeared;
up the chimney he flew,
as Sidney stood there,
smelling Santa’s poo.

That Christmas
was the best she ever had,
with no presents at all,
but she wasn’t sad.

She discovered that Christmas
doesn’t come from the North Pole,
that Christmas comes all year,
from your heart and soul.

And ever since
that oh so fateful night,
Sidney worked hard,
and turned all her wrongdoings to right.