Bilb and Henry

In a world where any fool who has enough intelligence and/or coordination to use a mouse, can become the saviour or antichrist to countless worlds, its not surprising to find two beings of such supreme power, intelligence, and…

Faintly in the background, you make out the creak of a door opening and a quick succession of softly thudding footsteps. “Ello”, Cries a loud, deep voice. “What are you doing here, Little Man?”

Huh? What? Who is there… oh, it’s you. What the hell are you doing here?!

You hear a wet snuffle. “Bilb heard someone talking about him! Came to see… Bilb was bored.”

What? How could you hear me?! How did you know I was talking about you, I didn’t even say your name! I was telling the prologue to the story and now you’ve gone and ruined it… go away Bilb! I’ve got to get this done… you can’t have an epic without a prologue!!! Its… well… it’s just not done!

There’s a soft growl and another wet snuffle. “You no tell Bilb what to do! Just cause Little Man has italics and Bilb doesn’t, doesn’t make Little Man boss!”

I’m ‘The Narrator’… why is that so hard for you to remember?! I’m not Little Man!!

There are a few moments of empty silence before Bilb bursts into overly loud laughter before replying with, “You’re funny, Little Man!”

Oh my god, are you that stu…

Bilb chuckles, “Bilb isn’t your god! You’re a silly little man, Little Man!”

Gah! Henry! Henry, where the fuck are you!!

There’s a crack of thunder and a rumbling of the earth as you bear witness to the arrival of Henry, the self-proclaimed Golden Lord of Storms. His voice is deep, laden with power. “What?! I was online talking to Beth over MSN, what do you want?”

It’s Bilb! He has ruined my awesome prologue…it sounded so bloody great too! Isn’t there something you can do…? I don’t know… keep him out of my hair for a bit?

“Why should I?” Says Henry, calm, collected, and as perfect as always.

Because… wait… Bilb, what are you doing?!

Bilb’s voice sounds softer, as if he’s further away. “Bilb find black rope! Hmmm… Where black rope go?”

Bilb, no! That’s the power –

*DZZZUUUuuurrrph*