For Men Tired of Male-Bashing Jokes

For Men Tired of Male-Bashing Jokes
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be open by the time she brings it.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It’s one of those evolutionary things” that allows them to stand closer to the sink.

Why do men break wind more than women?
Because woman can’t shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He’ll shut up as soon as you let him in.

A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on rodeo drive and said “I havn’t eaten in days” She looked at him and said “God, I wish I had your willpower.”

In the beginning, god created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then neither God nor Man has rested.

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a beer belly and I bald head and still think they’re beautiful.

I married Mrs.Right. I just didn’t know her first name was always.

Marriage is a 3-ring circus:
Engagement ring.
Wedding Ring.
Suffering.

The most successful way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

Young son: Is it true, Dad, that in some countries a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.

Our last fight was my fault:
My wife asked “what’s on the TV”, I said “Dust”