A Velociraptor and Farm Equipment

Author’s Note: This is another one of my Tractor Dreams. You can see “When Sheep Get Rabies” for a longer introduction about what the Tractor Dreams are all about. Heh, and by the way, any semblance to reality is strictly coincidental.

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A Velociraptor and Farm Equipment

The road was barren; not a good sign. Something was amiss. I stood at the head of my driveway and studied the road as far as I could see both east and west. To the west, where the road sloped into a hill and disappeared into the wooded section (called the Tree Tunnel), I saw shadows playing about the top of the hill. The swamp that bordered the road on both sides at the hill’s base was vast and dark, and I knew a fall in there would mean death to anyone. But at least I didn’t see any sign of The Tractor or its minions.

The east (that road dubbed the Frogpond Road) didn’t look any more appealing in the dull gray light of the cloudy sky. I could almost taste the foreboding in the air.

Behind me, the front yard stretched out, darkness cloaking it as though it had been midnight and no stars. The house reared like a ghost, white siding gleaming of its own light. No, I wasn’t going back to the house yet. It wouldn’t accomplish much, as there weren’t that many exits… I mean, you can only break through the windows so many times before, ah, they get boarded up.

A prickling at the back of my neck alerted me that a car was coming down the Frogpond Road. I snapped my attention to the front once more. A red Jaguar roared by at 130 MPH, spitting a cloud of dust behind it. I sensed its wicked grin. Glaring after it, I felt an urge to cross the road. No rational reasoning for me, just a strange impulse. I stepped onto the hard-packed dirt and immediately had to sidestep to avoid getting hit as a small semi barreled past. The truck spun around in the middle of the road and roared at me again, apparently intent on making me roadkill.

I flung myself flat in the ditch on the other side and rolled over. Close. I hate semis. Peering up at the road, I saw its growing umber of insane drivers in various vehicles who had no clue what the words “speed limit” meant. Country roads aren’t highways, people, I thought. Slow down.

Maniacs didn’t listen, of course.

The ground trembled, and I felt the sinister presence of The Tractor bearing down on me. Its huge red bulk moved with uncanny speed, and its enormous black tires gleamed. I didn’t have to see my nemesis to know what it looked like: that visage was imprinted on my consciousness. I ducked, pressing myself into the weeds of the ditch. The coarse grass scuffed by cheek and interfered with my vision. I didn’t dare move. The Tractor rumbled down the road, its headlights sweeping the grass, barely missing my face. I flinched. What plot had The Tractor thought up for catching me this time?

When The Tractor was gone, I stood up and walked boldly onto the street. The Jaguar came hurtling toward me again from the west. As it reached me, I sprang onto the hood--the momentum flung me over the roof, and I scrambled for a handhold on the smooth red metal. The car spun in a tight circle in the middle of the road. I grabbed the edge of the roof above the driver’s window and held on. The driver, if a driver the car had (it might have been the car itself speaking) shouted inchoately at me, but I got the gist of the words: get off the car or I’ll kill you.

It figured. Everything wanted to kill me.

I slammed a boot down over the windshield, shattering the glass. That cowed the Jaguar and it ground to a halt, simmering but clearly surrendering. I bounded off and folded my arms over my chest as I watched the sleek sports car drive off. I smirked. Hah. Me: 1. Maniac: zilch.

I didn’t hear the small semi. It slammed into me, knocking me sprawling on the side of the road. My vision spun and I groaned, sitting up. What the hell…?

The Tractor spotted me from near the top of the hill by the Tree Tunnel and was rumbling towards me. Oh, great. I winced and stood up, my legs weak. I suspected I had some nasty bruises all over my back and shoulders.

I dashed into the field flanking the road and waded through the waist-deep grass towards my house. I approached from the back and I climbed in through a broken porch window. Everything was gloomy and distorted; I found it hard to navigate, even in these familiar surroundings. I slipped through the living room and into my bedroom. Lying flat on the floor, I hid under the bed as I listened for The Tractor. Its deep, threatening voice reached my head, even though I couldn’t see where it was.

Come out, come out, I’ll find you, I’ll kill you… you can’t hide forever.

“Don’t count on it,” I muttered.

The Tractor laughed, its megalomaniac voice echoing. Its headlights blasted on, piercing the walls of the house and seeking me. I pressed myself lower to the floor, gripping the carpet, nestling my body between the boxes of junk stored beneath my bunk. Don’t let it spot me, I hoped--prayed?--in silence. It didn’t. Whew. The Tractor rumbled off around the house and I slipped out from under my bed.

I smelled smoke. Fiend, it had started my house on fire! If I survived long enough, I decided I should sue The Tractor. But the only problem was if we wound up in a courtroom together, it would try and kill me, and there would be chaos. Nothing was capable of destroying The Tractor. I had tried; guns and swords didn’t do much against it, though in the past I had popped its tires.

I clapped a hand over my mouth to avoid asphyxiation from the smoke and stumbled through the kitchen to the front door. Where was The Tractor? I glanced around as my house turned into an inferno behind me. The blistering heat tickled the back of my neck, and I hurried away. Despite the fire, the yard was still dark. Shriveled grass spread out from the front sidewalk towards the driveway and across it. I froze.

A score of Nazi soldiers with assault rifles stood by the gas tank across the driveway. And they had two of my friends held hostage. I clenched my hands to keep back my frustration. I sensed The Tractor somewhere by the barn that bordered the swamp to the south of my house. The Nazi leader shouted something incoherent at me and I glared back at him. He pointed his gun at Jose, and I saw what he meant. Typical.

Grinding my teeth, I decided to needed to change into a more agile form if I meant to rescue my friends. I concentrated and transformed into a lithe Velociraptor. Baring my teeth, I bounded toward the Nazis. They stated firing at me, but I dodged the bullets and finally reached them. Crashing into their ranks, I lashed out with my long, stiff tail and foreclaws. “Run for it!” I growled at my friends.

They did, though Jose shouted at me to get out of there. I kicked the Nazi leader flat, then bounded over the gas tank and dashed through the bushes behind it. Emerging from the bushes, I came to the flat top of a hill that was covered in long, golden grass. Down the slope was the swampland that stretched out to the edge of the road, which line south. It connected to the east-west road and formed a T intersection.

I heard the shouting of the Nazis behind me. But they couldn’t catch me now. To my right I noticed something was amiss on the east-west road. An enormous T-rex was standing at the intersection, pinning a struggling figure down with one huge foot. I didn’t recognize the person, but I sensed it was someone I knew.

Bullets started whizzing around me. The Nazis were back. Damn, I really hated when they kept showing up at inopportune times. I dodged and bounded over the grass toward the ditch and the intersection of the road. Why did my friends constantly get into such situations? Couldn’t they just stay out of the way for once? It was bad enough everything was out to kill me; I didn’t need more problems, thank you.

Something hard and painful slammed into my ribs and I staggered. A bullet. Another one hit my in the shoulder and I dropped into a low crouch, biting back the pain and continuing to move toward the T-rex. I was getting weaker, blood loss and exertion. But I didn’t give up. I couldn’t.

I leapt over the ditch and landed awkwardly on the road. Racing towards the T-rex in the intersection, I showed my fangs. I was a hundred feet away. The Nazis, thankfully, had disappeared, but up the Frogpond Road I saw the red Jaguar and the small semi, along with two SUVs, all waiting. They were just waiting until the T-rex got off the road before they charged me. Nothing like a little pressure, eh?

The T-rex looked at me and grinned. He was big. All right, about ten times bigger than me. So really big. “Want this one?” he said, nodding his huge jaws down at the pinned figure.

I studied the captive. I didn’t recognize him by name, but I knew I had met him somewhere. If noting else, he was a bystander, someone who shouldn’t have been involved in my problems. I nodded and slowly advanced. “Let him go, this is between us.”

The T-rex grinned even wider, showing all his huge teeth, and then stepped off the man. The fellow jumped up and ran up the driveway of my neighbor’s house, which was adjacent to the crossroads. Oh, he was my neighbor. That’s why I’d seen him before. Typical nosiness.

The T-rex roared and lumbered toward me, changing as he did so into an Allosaurus. The huge predator moved faster and faster, bearing down on me with gaping jaws. As if the situation had to get any worse, The Tractor showed up. It rumbled over the fields I had crossed earlier, pulling behind it a combine. I shivered at the sight of those long blades. I had nowhere to run, because to my left, a bubbling black foulness had seeped up to fill the ditch, and I knew only nastiness awaited me there if I tried to cross it. Things that would sooner kill and eat you than look at you lived in that swamp.

Deciding on the least deadly foe, I leapt at the Allosaurus. Just before I reached him, I heard a plaintive cry and spun around. Someone had left a baby in a basket by my driveway, and the two SUVs were heading toward it, obviously intent on smashing the baby.

I ignored the Allosaurus and rushed toward the helpless baby in the bassinet. Everything seemed to slow, and I urged my muscles to work harder, my legs to carry me faster. I reached the baby just in time, grabbed it in my jaws, and tossed it to safety on the grass under the maple tree flanking the driveway. Briefly I saw the baby’s relieved mother scoop up her child before the first SUV slammed into my side, sending me tumbling down the road. It really hurt.

I skidded to stop abruptly at the Allosuarus’s feet. Before I could rise, the enormous jaws slammed closed around the base of my neck and shoulders, and the big saurian lifted me and shook me savagely. I felt something crunch; I think it was my shoulder blade. The Allosaurus dropped me with a chortle. I landed hard on my chest, and I felt ribs crack. Ow. The Allosaurus disappeared, but The Tractor took his place.

Triumphant, with an evil, gloating grin on its invisible countenance, The Tractor said, You cannot escape from me.

I didn’t have the strength to move or respond.

You should take more heed to protecting yourself, rather than your friends, The Tractor said. It stopped with its tires a fraction from my neck and ribs.

I tensed involuntarily. I knew what was coming was unavoidable; especially with that combine it dragged behind it.

“I’m not as soulless as you are,” I retorted, managing a defiant glare at my nemesis.

The Tractor laughed and rumbled forward.

<end dream>