Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

Losing you is still one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with. There was so much left unsaid. Though I am grateful for what we were able to resolve or to just express, I am heartbroken by what we weren't.

I still stand by my belief that Daddy was wrong to forbid us to discuss death with you. By pretending you would beat the cancer, he robbed you of a vital oppurtunity to say those things you may have needed to say. He did this out of love for you. He did this out of an overwhelming grief of the loss he feared. And so, you too pretended out of your love for Daddy. Your love for each other, a love that endured for fifty-four years, remains a beautiful, powerful example to us all.

Returning home to spend those last months with you was a gift. The conversations and extra bonding will always make the bitter a bit sweeter. Mom, I love you so much. I don't believe you ever understood just how much. Tending to your needs or just sitting with you as you fitfully slept was something I am grateful to have been able to do.

Mommy, that last day haunts me. I spent two weeks in the hospital going no further than to the lounge. And then that decision to leave for a little bit! It was going to be a quick meal than off to get Daddy some clean clothes. Why is it that you left then barely minutes after I drove off? Did you do this for me? Were you sparing me of further pain? This will haunt me forever.

The angels lifted you up and took you away too soon but how truly blessed I am to have had the most wonderful Mother I could ever imagine and to know that you chose me to love is a blessing that words cannot describe. Till we meet again, I will hold you always in my heart.

Your loving daughter,
MiaAkasha