This week: It's Okay to Shed a Tear Edited by: Kitti the Red-Nosed Feline  
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It still tends to be seen as embarrassing to cry. But why? To cry is a part of being human.
This week's Drama Newsletter is all about emotions.
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When was the last time you cried? For me, it's not that long ago. Ever since my surgery and the complications that followed I have been more emotional than usual. I don't know why. I don't feel sad, but the tears come swiftly, and it's quite annoying. Hopefully, everything will go back to normal. It has made me think, though...
Crying is a completely natural part of being human. We all do it. It's one of the first things we do after we're born. We cry when we're overwhelmed by sadness, and some people cry when they are angry. I've been known to cry out of sheer frustration. Yet, it's something many people feel embarrassed about. It's something that we're often made to feel embarrassed about, especially men, for some reason that I will never understand. There is no logic behind it being more or less acceptable for one half of the species. There is no logic behind it being unacceptable for anyone.
Some people, when they cry, look quite beautiful. I am not one of them. I belong to the group of people who full-on ugly-cry, with the red eyes and the scrunched-up face. My most recent cry was, fortunately, not in public. A company had messed up something that is very important to me, refused to admit their fault and refused to correct it. I'm not very assertive and I felt increasingly frustrated and powerless. I fully accept when people make errors. We all do. I do, then, expect them to admit to this and to try put it right. When they don't, and you really need them to as the result of their actions has a big impact on your life, and there's nothing you can seemingly do or say to change their actions, and you don't understand why they won't, it can be overwhelming. Or, at least, it was to me in my current state. It was a time when I very much did not want to cry, knowing that they'd hear it in my voice and knowing that it certainly would not help me make a coherent case. Unfortunately, it wasn't something that I was in control of. I'm still attempting to get them to correct their mistake. It looks like it's going to be a lengthy process.
When the tears started, I felt that familiar pang of shame. It's why I'd never watch a sad movie in a cinema. Or with anyone. I even feel embarrassed when I'm reading a sad novel and my husband's around and hears me sniffle. Weird that, isn't it? I don't feel embarrassed when a movie or novel makes me laugh... Why is one expression of emotion fine, but not the other?
I think a big influence is what we're taught when we're kids. My family has always been one that hides its emotions. Crying was something done alone, in private, if it needed to be done at all. In addition, society does not encourage the expression of emotions. Even when we're encouraged to be more open about it on the one hand, we're told that when emotions enter a debate, the debate is lost. And as said, men even more than women still feel the pressure of being strong and unshakeable, and crying is seen as weak. Why, again, I do not know. How many other bodily functions are considered signs of weakness or strength of character?
A good cry can help relieve stress and anxiety. Tears release chemicals, helping you to feel better. The fact that crying is more than a necessary evil is known – the drama genre would not exist if there wasn't a desire amongst people for stories capable of triggering emotions, even to the point of tears. Some of the most beloved stories are real tearjerkers, like E.T., and Forrest Gump, and Toy Story 3. Mostly, after experiencing these emotions, people long for a happy ending, but some tales such as Doctor Zhivago deny us that, yet still have a place in people's hearts.
Have you ever felt sad and then put on a sad tune to wail along to? Brought out the tissues in preparation of a night with an emotional movie? Rewatched or reread a story that you knew would make you cry? This, dear writers of drama pieces, is why we do what we do. Dramatic works help people channel their emotions. They help people to feel, and to cry, in a way that is safe and (more) comfortable. In a world where tears are frowned upon, the availability of such a means of release is rather important.
Hopefully, one day, we will get to a place where there is no shame attached to this aspect of our humanity. We people truly are strange beings, aren't we? Until then, let's keep writing! Of course, even afterwards, there will always be a need for good stories.
Wishing you a happy holiday season,
Kitti the Red-Nosed Feline
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Drama: December 18, 2019 Issue [#9923]
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