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Printed from https://writing.com/main/newsletters/action/archives/id/931-.html
Fantasy: March 15, 2006 Issue [#931]

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Fantasy


 This week:
  Edited by: John~Ashen Author IconMail Icon
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Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

Fantasy! It comes in all flavors and subgenres. In the realm of the imagination, boundaries become meaningless. I'll be pointing out different styles and offering advice on key elements of fantasy writing. Enjoy *Delight* --John~Ashen Author Icon


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Letter from the editor

Information Dumping

         Ever start reading a story, but you have to put it away because it just drags too much at the start? Odds are, the author tried to dump too much information on you too early. He should have made sure to keep you interested before giving you the 4-1-1 (information!). Start with a hook instead, and only then should you test the patience of your dear readers.

         Let's categorize the main forms of dumping *Smile*

         *Bullet* The History Dump is a long preamble at the start of the story. The intention is to familiarize you with that world's particular history. While important to the author, this rarely interests the reader!
         Example: In the beginning there were twelve Major Gods and fifteen Minor Gods. They warred with each other until only six remained. They decided to make a world fair to all, but something went wrong. High in the mountains there was a confluence of peoples fighting for the same village. This village was named for one of the fallen Minor Gods. After generations of strife...
         Boring! This introduction doesn't hook the reader. There is no character to champion or crisis to resolve. If you want to interest someone with a historical fact, you need to make it snappy, like in the beginnings of movies.
         Better: High in the mountains, humans fought against three other races fought for control of a lost god's city. This is their barbarous tale.
         Later on you can sneak in pertinent historical facts during convenient occasions, such as an elder's rant, a teacher's lesson, or an artifact's inscription.

         *Bullet* The Scenery Dump is when the author gets too excited about describing his world and forgets to tell the story. Most often, the particulars of that day's weather don't even factor into the plot.
         Example: Nothing but the wind made noise on that cold, windy day. Dew could barely cling to leaf blades, and pollen splattered the foliage indiscriminately. A bunny hopped across a path, leaving little rabbit droppings on the packed earth. Our hero rode by, his horse sweating with every stride. Its glossy black coat glistened in the cool morning breeze...
         So what -- get back to the rider already! Readers are gonna fall asleep if there is no action forthcoming. Describe scenery later, when the details help the story instead of replace it.
         Better: Our hero rode down a trail, the cool morning air silently sucking the warmth from both rider and horse.
         If you want the humor of the rabbit dropping, describe it only after the hero dismounts and steps in it.

         *Bullet* The Name-Drop Dump is the too-early introduction of too many characters and placenames. This happens when the author forgets that readers might not be familiar with the cast of characters. Fanfiction is an easy genre in which to make this mistake.
         Example: It was your ordinary Monday when Dirk Knightly saw Marissa. Evermoor had been good to her, and she brought Kally along. Together they rode through Aranor and on to Pawtucket. Dirk liked Marissa, but Kally was her own kind of Manhattan trouble.
         This flies through proper names too quickly for the reader to digest. You must properly establish and characterize each name before throwing a new one at the reader.
         Better: It was Monday when Dirk Knightly first saw Marissa. She was wholly likable with her quaint sensibility that a small town like Evermoor instills. Though shy, Dirk was determined to know her better. However, following Marissa up the lane was a spunky brunette. Today's would be no ordinary trip.
         Kally has yet to be introduced by Marissa (plot action!), and you should save the other placenames to deal with once they get there.

         *Bullet* The Characterization Dump is when the author makes pitifully inadequate attempts to give background information on each character. He realizes characterization is needed to differentiate between names, but he doesn't want to make a real narrative effort.
         Example: Norm was standing in his usual corner of the bar. The bar was known for fast women and watered-down drinks. In walked Flo, the waitress. She was a 56-yr-old redhead who'd been doing this her whole life. "See anything you like?" she asked, pointing to the girls at the table. One girl was Mabel, a teenage artist into Emo and band. She was 5'4" and 105 lbs. Mabel saw Norm looking at her, and she studied him back. He was a little overweight at 180 lbs. and 5'6" tall...
         Um..yeah. Quick, dirty details basically make characters disposable. Instead, work the details in as the characters themselves notice.
         Better: Norm stood in his usual corner of the bar, since the stools were too narrow for his hips. The obviously experienced waitress walked by. "See anything you like?" she asked, pointing to the girls at the table. Norm's eyes were drawn to one in particular. She was a slight girl, but pretty and dressed with obvious taste. He wondered how old she was and if she liked short guys.
         Notice this second version replaced some omniscient knowledge with limited but related adjectives. We might learn the exact truth later in the story, but for now we only get what the characters themselves know.


         In summary, hook your reader before you bore them. You can dip into description and background, but keep the plot action going. One good way to do this is to include description only when people notice (Luke looked around, his eyes coming to a strange brown patch of grass in the otherwise green lawn) and background only when characters talk or think about it (Avoiding the brown patch reminded Luke of playing hide-and-seek in a graveyard with his brother when they were little).

         Like the film concept of not wasting camera time, in writing information should always help the plot. If you must launch into a three-paragraph ramble, make it a daydream of one of your characters. Then, as plot action, you can have them "come to" with another character waiting on him or interrupting his reverie. Always the writer's mission: tell the story. As for background and description, assume a medical mission: do no harm.


Editor's Picks

See if any of these begin awkwardly:

There is a 2-line caption as each character is introduced.
 Invalid Item Open in new Window. []

by A Guest Visitor

This one alternates nicely between past info and present action.
 The Skeleton's Shadow Open in new Window. [13+]
Suffering from loss Rainee encounters a creature of myth that needs her help.
by Lady Rook Author Icon

A full 5 paragraphs of preamble before any narrative begins.
 Invalid Item Open in new Window. []

by A Guest Visitor

Even the best can start slowly; 10 paragraphs before it gets moving!
 Invalid Item Open in new Window. []

by A Guest Visitor

Just the right amount of history before launching into action.
 Invalid Item Open in new Window. []

by A Guest Visitor

Nearly invisible background info inserted into a horrific tale.
 Invalid Item Open in new Window. []

by A Guest Visitor

Less of a lesson; more of a guilty pleasure.
 
Image Protector
The Chinese Box Open in new Window. [13+]
The surprising things you can find at a thrift store....
by W.D.Wilcox Author Icon

 Invalid Item Open in new Window. []

by A Guest Visitor

 
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Word from Writing.Com

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Ask & Answer

shaara comments: I'd love more information about keeping track of your characters' parts - especially in a novel. I always forget what color eyes someone has and what his favorite food is. I wish I were better at record keeping. I get so into the book, I forget to record it. Then I have to go back and search.

Response: When I'm writing a longer story, I keep index cards on my wall. I usually do only three story threads at once, so there are three lines of index cards which sometimes intersect. Each card is a chapter listing characters and the page numbers of their introductions and main appearances. Each card has its section's working title, which should be very summary so you know at a glance what happens in that chapter.

Hallgerd Author Icon comments: I would love to read an edition about fantasy short stories. So many of the classic fantasy works are huge volumes that have the space to create worlds with histories dating back millenia. Short works of fantasy don't get as much attention. It would be great to have an edition that looked at how you can be fantastic with a small word limit!

Response: Well, sometimes authors like Orson Scott Card have a world in mind but no plot fleshed out. What they do is write short stories set in that world. They explore the world, bit by story bit, for several years, sometimes reusing a character. After a while they have some favorite characters and lots of background information which can be assembled from the short stories into a novel, almost like a puzzle (example: Card's Worthing Saga).

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