When a woman says something like: “Do what you want.” – Seriously, don’t do what you want. Stand still as a statue. No blinking. Play dead.

An elderly couple goes to their favorite restaurant they’ve been visiting for decades. The man addresses his wife with all sorts of endearments, calling her his darling, sweetheart, his treasure etc.. When the lady excuses herself and goes to the bathroom, the waiter comments to the man, “Wow, you have an amazing relationship with your wife. All those lovely names you call her.”

The man looks at him. “To be honest, it has become a necessity. I actually forgot her name about three years ago.”