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This week: Talk to the Teased Edited by: THANKFUL SONALI back on Jan 4  
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Let me start with a disclaimer. I am not talking of bullying or emotional abuse, I'm talking of light, friendly teasing here. Bullying and emotional abuse are another category, and need different handling. They're not in the scope of this newsletter.
I was chatting with the author of a series of books about someone who is called PETU ('The one with the stomach', in Hindi). During the informal chat, I brought up my concerns -- and she gave her insights. I learnt a lot -- and asked if she'd do a formal interview for the WDC Community. She said 'yes' at once, and the interview follows. |
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Dear Reader,
Here it is -- an interview with Arundhati Venkatesh:
1. Why the name "PETU"?
Pushkin is nicknamed Petu Pumpkin because he eats all the time.
Did you assume he’s fat, and attach a negative connotation to that?
Let me clarify: Pushkin is not fat. I’d written in my notes to Shilpa Ranade (the illustrator) that he isn’t fat at all, just that he has a bit of a belly.
In fact, the character was inspired by my skinny son, who’s perpetually eating.
Pushkin is comfortable in his own skin. He has no problem being called Petu Pumpkin. It is after all his best buddies who, most affectionately, call him that. They’re not sniggering behind his back; they call him Petu to his face. The books are about the great camaraderie they share and what each of them brings to the table.
It is important to make the distinction between bullying and teasing; the two need to be handled differently. There’s different kinds of teasing too. Teasing can be good-natured, but increasingly, adults assume an intent of malice even where there is none. Children, though, have strong instincts, and can tell the difference, left to themselves. Kids are far more perceptive than we give them credit for. They’re also capable of amicably resolving conflicts and working on relationships.
I speak from personal experience. Moving seven schools, in towns and cities across the country (from Ludhiana to Bombay, from North Karnataka to South Tamil Nadu…) meant I had seven very different sets of friends, and issues! I’d start off as the outsider everywhere, but, if I had the right attitude, that would change soon enough.
I was big and ugly and my skin glistened like roasted coffee beans thanks to all the swimming I did, and I remember how I felt about it then. A left-hander with big glasses, wild hair and a protruding belly, who didn’t fit in. It didn’t matter whether or not I was teased about any of it. What really mattered was how I felt within. One doesn’t need to be teased to be made to feel less.
Exclusion hurts more than anything else.
2. In a world where people are becoming increasingly conscious of political-correctness, how do your books fit in?
How many of us who read Swami and Friends growing up, ran away from home? Kids do know that it’s a fictional world!
Avoiding topics or treading cautiously doesn’t alter anything. Books can instead be used to open up conversations. For instance, this one we’re having here is a start.
At a school that is concerned about children’s inner lives, parents are asked:
We'll talk to kids who're saying something insensitive, but as adults can we also tell the child at the receiving end that maybe it isn’t as traumatic as all that? Can we address both sides?
Does the teasing bother me because I’m already touchy about it? Isn’t that something we should ask ourselves? What if we address that discomfort? Can a kid develop a strong sense of self, and remain unaffected? The answer to that is yes, and again, I say that from experience. It does take time and effort. The starting point, of course, is recognising that it needs work.
What if the teasers, too, see being skinny/plump/tall/short/poor/dark-skinned, being on the autism spectrum or following a certain religion as just a difference, and as just one of the many things their friend is?
Another question that I’ve heard the school mentioned above asking parents during admissions: How will you react if we tell you that your child is filching food from the kitchen?
I wasn’t surprised by the question, because a parent at another school had taken it personally and been offended enough to pull out his child, although the teachers had handled it most tactfully. It was the child that suffered, needlessly.
We mustn’t take ourselves so seriously!
3. How are children different from adults as an audience for an author?
While writing, I don’t think of the reader. It’s for myself that I write. Actually, I don’t really have a say in the matter. The words and images come to me while I’m asleep; I mull over them all day. This goes on for weeks, until it all pours out of me. Once the first draft is down, I labour over the revisions. This is when I think about how the audience will interpret what’s written.
The writing process is the same, irrespective of the age of the audience, but there are a few differences:
There’s always hope in children’s fiction, and humour.Fantastical things happen, because children haven’t yet lost their imagination.
Kids don’t care much for the credentials of the writer, so if the book doesn’t hold their interest, they’ll put it down.
Children are also more honest with their feedback, so if a little person comes up to me saying s/he liked the book, it means something.
4. What is your favourite form of writing?
Picture books and illustrated chapter books; I love the interplay between words and pictures.
5. Who / what has influenced your writing most, over the years?
Every book I’ve read, editors who have given me valuable feedback on my writing, and the two-day Duckbill writing workshop, where we shared our work and got instantaneous reactions.
Thank you, Arundhati, and thank you, reader!
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Short Stories: August 29, 2018 Issue [#9070]
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