Spiritual
This week: Holidays and Grief Edited by: Shannon More Newsletters By This Editor
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Welcome to the Spiritual Newsletter. My name is Shannon and I'm your editor this week. |
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"There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief." ~ Aeschylus
Christmas is just around the corner and it's easy to get caught up in the spirit of the season, but for many, the final few months of the year bring sadness, heartache, and pain.
Unlike S.A.D. (seasonal affective disorder--clinical depression with resultant physical/physiological symptoms), the "holiday blues" are characterized by situational, temporary psychological sadness.1
The term "holiday blues" sounds too generic to me--too blasé considering what sufferers endure. It should be called something more meaningful--something that accurately reflects the devastating rollercoaster ride of emotion experienced by those left behind. Having buried a parent, a child, a spouse, a dear friend, holidays are the worst time of year for millions of people. Their loved one's absence at holiday get-togethers is a constant reminder of everything they've lost and the family member they will never see again.
Nothing you say or do will bring back someone who has passed away, but there are a few things you can do to ease someone's suffering:
Stop by and/or call someone who has lost a loved one. Ask if there's anything you can do, and tell him/her not to hesitate to ask for help.
Sometimes people just want to talk. Listen to them.
Include the deceased loved one in family gatherings by lighting a candle to symbolize his/her presence, serve his/her favorite dish, or write his/her name on an ornament to hang on the tree. 2
Donate to the deceased person's favorite charity or coordinate a fundraiser for a favorite cause in his/her name.
Invite those who are grieving to spend the holidays with you or offer to help them cook and/or clean.
Of course, these are but a few suggestions. It's most important to not ignore those who are grieving simply because the situation makes you uncomfortable and you don't know what to say. Acknowledge them, recognize their pain, think of ways you might be able to help, and always, always be considerate, kind, and compassionate.
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft star-shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.
~ Autumn Rain by Mary Elizabeth Frye, 1932
Peace and blessings to you and yours this holiday season.
Notes:
1: Holiday Blues vs Seasonal Affective Disorder
2: 7 Ways to Help Someone Grieving a Loss During the Holidays |
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The following is in response to "Kindness Matters" :
sdv413 writes, "Wonderful quote from 'Unknown.' Glad your Dad pulled through." Thank you, Steve.
Mia - craving colour writes, "'Today is a blessing and tomorrow isn't guaranteed. Every word, every action is a choice. We may agree to disagree, but my hope is that we do so with kindness. We may not get another chance.' Beautiful sentiment and very true, Shannon. Thank you for sharing. Wishing your Dad a restoration to full health. Happy Thanksgiving." Aw, thank you, Mia. I hope yours was blessed as well.
Vaughan Jones - ONE Scribe writes, "Yep, it's all about love. Some have it as a natural response and others have not. It all depends on one's spiritual state. I wrote a poem and then a song entitled 'Love Cloud'. Take a listen on Soundcloud here. Let me know your thoughts and inspirations." This is great, Vaughan Jones - ONE Scribe! I love folk music--it's one of my favorites. Love the guitar. Thank you so much for sharing.
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