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Printed from https://writing.com/main/newsletters/action/archives/id/8026-The-War-is-Here.html
Comedy: December 14, 2016 Issue [#8026]

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Comedy


 This week: The War is Here
  Edited by: Robert Waltz Author IconMail Icon
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Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
         - Dave Barry

Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.
         - Andy Borowitz

This holiday season, no matter what your religion is, please take a moment to reflect on why it’s better than all the other ones.
         - Guy Endore Kaiser


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Letter from the editor

In past years, I've mostly ignored the totally-made-up "War on Christmas." One exception was my Comedy editorial last December, which you can find here: "The War on Christmas" Open in new Window.. In that newsletter, I made a plea for kindness and inclusiveness.

As usual, that didn't work out too well, since it appears that a large, vocal minority don't give a rat's tail for kindness and inclusiveness, and would rather politicize everything.

This is a problem, see: we're running out of safe topics for conversation. Everything's divisive, now:

"So how 'bout them Redskins?" "Hey, you know, they should really change that name."

"Sure is raining a lot." "Oh, yeah, definite proof of global warming."

"Wow, traffic sucks today." "Yep, we need to raise taxes to fix the infrastructure."

"Happy Holidays!" "Don't you mean 'Merry Christmas?'"

And for introverts like me, this is a problem. I don't know how to start conversations without pushing someone's political, religious, or social hot buttons.

So, I'm done trying. As I noted above, there's never been an actual War on Christmas. This is something that the propaganda mill made up out of thin air. All anyone wants to do in December, at least in the US, is wish people well, and it used to be the one month out of the year when most people seem content to live and let live; to acknowledge that while not everyone worships in the same way or celebrates the same things, people are people and deserve to have one nice day , even if they're barely tolerated on the other 364.

But, it seems, even that has gone out the window.

As with everything else, a few assholes have ruined it for the rest of you. The War is on. I'm done being nice, I'm through being tolerant, and I'm completely over being patient around the winter holidays.

Go have your Christmas or Festivus or Hanukkah or Yule or whatever. But forget about acceptance, tolerance or peace on Earth. It's obviously not going to happen. I'll just be over here drinking the true holiday spirits. Wake me up when winter's finally over.


Editor's Picks

Just some funnies to make it through the War:

 Household Clutter Open in new Window. [ASR]
About when I was young and broke. The days of many roomates.
by Sabbatha Author Icon


 The reasons for pursuing photography Open in new Window. [13+]
Reasons as to why a sane person would bother to take photos of inanimate objects
by The Pink Panther Author Icon


 Norman. Open in new Window. [13+]
A 'little' surprise. (-750 words prompt from Writer's Digest)
by Lapython Author Icon


 Email Open in new Window. [E]
Dedicated to the prompt: My Email: No new messages
by Lani Author Icon


 Dig It Open in new Window. [13+]
A dark comedy of love.
by henriburton Author Icon


 A Pelican Crossed Open in new Window. [13+]
Nonsense poem about pelicans, written for Writers Cramp.
by Jellyfish Author Icon


 "Grilled Pizza" Open in new Window. [E]
My childhood friend's first cookout. A comedy.
by MikeyTN Author Icon

 
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Word from Writing.Com

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Ask & Answer

Last time, in "It's Over!" Open in new Window., I rejoiced at the end of election season in the US.

As nobody saw fit to comment on said newsletter, I'll just take this opportunity to wish everyone a humor-filled holiday season. Until next year...

LAUGH ON!!!


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Word from our sponsor
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