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This week: How to Use Details and Not Tell Edited by: Vivian More Newsletters By This Editor
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Some people have decided that "showing, not telling" requires the writer to use no detail, no descriptions, which leaves a pie with all filling and no crust -- nothing to hold the story together. So, how does a writer keep the story together, interesting, and still "show" what is happening?
The January 2015 Writer's Digest contains an article by Elizabeth Sims that covers that topic well.
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Describing While Still Showing
According to Ms. Sims, "All that yelling of 'Show, don't tell?' in writing workshops has made some authors terrified to tell us anything at all, especially about settings and characters." Inexperienced writers, and experienced ones at times, believe that giving any detail is wrong. They omit everything except dialog and action. Description can be woven into the narrative in a way that reader "discovers" with the narrator or character, rather than the narrator "telling" the information.
The main goal in giving description concerns making the material "fit" in a believable manner, leading the reader into an awareness without boring him. The reader needs help to see anything that impacts his understanding of plot, characters, and setting.
Yes, some sections of a story do not require description and would be destroyed if the writer disrupted action with description (or with details about a character's past or memories or feelings). Needed description for the reader to visualize should be used creatively and laced into the narrative carefully. Ms. Sims states that if something is worth mentioning, it is worth describing. Writers need to learn how to describe without forgetting to allow the reader to visualize.
The article by Elizabeth Sims gives four suggestions to help include correct description: Some I knew; some are new.
1. Give everything a bit of descriptive detail: Her example gives a simple sentence and then one with detail. No detail - "We gave a ride to two guys." With detail - "We gave a ride to two guys from the seminary who looked like future child molesters." Not much detail was added, but the brief amount added to the visualization for the reader.
2. Take a risk and go long: The trick is to draw the reader deeper into the scene without boring him. Easy? No, but worth doing a good job and engrossing the reader. The idea is to describe with the "attitude" of discovering and not of informing. A writer needs to write in a way to experience the scene with the reader.
3. Go below the surface: One way is to give the character, place, or thing depth would be to add mood or atmosphere. The day is dreary becomes "The day filled with wisps of fog created a heaviness of spirit."
4. Allow a character to tell us: The idea of having a character tell the reader details does not mean we create an information dump, but that we allow the character give the reader his or her opinion/description. Ms. Sims says, "The best descriptions serve multiple purposes, advancing the story and developing characters, for instance." Her example, "That agency is in a death spiral! It's being run by a bunch of scared little kids," tells the reader something about the agency and about the character. The opinion might also be the cause of conflict if someone else disagrees.
Learning to use description creatively and weaving it into dialog and narrative takes practice and concentration. However, the result makes better writing.
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