  Comedy
This week: Oh, The Horrors! Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥmas  
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October can be a spooky month in and of itself, but when your lifeline to your second home is slipping away from you, the horror story really begins!
Yes, you are in the right Newsletter --- the Comedy one. Read on folks, read on. |
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Okay, folks. I’ve had the glorious experience of being kicked in the rear by my aging, wireless router. You may have experienced this electronic-age phenomenon when you’re going along, writing a lengthy review, and things just don’t go as usual because the review is staring you in the face, with this strange ghostly apparition floating over the monitor.
You take off your reading glasses, wipe them down, place them back on, but the apparition is still there. It’s the veil of death, folks. It is the little circle vortexing around the drain of your cleverly crafted review containing all of your pearls of wisdom. Yes, I see those heads nodding up and down, it's happened to you, too. I know the choice words that came forth from your mouths as you realized all the work was about to be lost -- forever!
In a fit of frenzy, I ran to the side of the wireless router and checked its chords, cables, lifelines, and whatever else you want to call those things plugging from the ISP thingy connection, to the wireless router which gives me the untethered freedom I so crave. Yup, all of them were still plugged attached or otherwise intact.
Then, with the hopeful moment of a possible cure for the ailing machine, I tried the reset button. Nope, that didn’t help one bit, byte, or gigabyte. In fact it probably hastened its death because the faint tinge of a green light showing the internet connection that was there prior to the reset simply ceased to be.
I, determined to to bring back from the dead that which clearly has gone on to that great big electronic junk pile in the sky, did the only thing anybody in my position would do. I approached that wretched traitor of my trust, picked it up and stared pounding it. I wasn’t trying to desecrate the apparently dead body, I just wanted to give it my best attempt of manual shock therapy to its dark little heart via a balled fist -- just to see if it would show any signs of life. Nothing!
Defeated, I turned the lifeless object into a most interestingly unusual Frisbee, ever. I grabbed the beast by its antennas and headed for the kitchen door. With a wind-up that would make a major league baseball pitcher proud, I reeled it around by one antenna, getting it into full rotational spin and let it go. It proceeded forward and then experienced the physical motion of a swift change-up, due to the torqued twist of the wrist upon release. It slid in, to left of the base of the tree trunk and landed into the now, dug-out garden.  “There shall ye rest in beast all through winter!” I cackle. 
Ah, yes! Satisfied with my revenge upon that which caused me so much grief and time consumption, I headed back inside the house. A light went off in my head! I can do it the old fashioned way, by connecting the ISP connection thingy directly to my PC! Then I can hit backspace and retrieve my beautifully penned, lengthy review. I did the connection lickity-split, went back to my laptop, pulled it toward me with deliberate mastery -- a little bit too hard, because it caused the power cable to pull out of it. Yes folks, my lap-top was tethered at the time, to the electrical power source because I was trying to preserve the life of its battery. 
That’s right folks, reboot and kick self in butt, (not necessarily in that order,) and try to salvage any memory of the item I read, and hopefully relive my review as best as possible for a rewrite.
Curses! It’s much less brilliant than the original review that flowed effortlessly from my fingers just a moment before my router’s demise. I thought it would be best to put the review aside for a while and cool down, you know, read a few emails perhaps think about writing some poetry or a short story -- anything to get my mind off the router's path of creative destruction. So, I glanced through my email and noticed a review sitting there. Happy that my mind could now be separated from the recent trauma I experienced by reading a lovely review about some well-penned creation of mine. I clicked it open and with great anticipation started reading it -- slowly, trying to savor each word.
 One Star! 
Well folks, evidently I didn’t understand how emotional he was over the subject matter of my poem, and I didn’t quite capture his emotions as they deserved to be penned. Hello? Who are you, and did you hire me to write a poem for you about your emotions, because I really don't remember that transaction .
Happy thoughts folks, always time for happy thoughts! 
By the way -- don't even ask me about trying to merge the new router to a couple other computers in use at Web~Witch house -- I haven't quite gotten over those fun hours, yet.
With the above mentioned "happy thoughts" in mind, I wish you a frightfully delicious and inspiring Halloween!
That’s all she screeched for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter.
Until next time -- laugh hard, laugh often!
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Lynda Miller 
Love the newsletter! Didn't know it was here. There are still territories I have not discovered.  Lynda~Wishbone Laughing Tree Great Newsletter. Very upbeat and funny. Thanks for including my story.
 Thank you Lynda! I'm happy you enjoyed it. 
Quick-Quill 
WW you have my apology. I missed the point!
No need to apologize. I love feedback! I don't just print the positive feedback, I also try to answer questions from readers who may have found something they thought was a little off in my newsletter and bring it to my attention. Thanks again for the feedback! 
LJPC - the tortoise 
Hi WW! You really should have taken some pics of your car vs balloon exploits. I bet it looked hilarious! I hope you get your sweet Ruby back soon. Thanks for the laughs!
~ Laura
 I know it, Laura! I really meant to get pictures of it, I even had a camera with me -- we concentrated so hard on getting them and us there in good condition. My Ruby is safe at home and starting to get her gasoline appetite back. 
Barefoot Bob  [Via Email]
I'm glad to hear that Ruby is feeling better. I'd love to have an S.U.V. I live in the Northern U.S., where six months out of the year, Mother Nature gets her revenge for giving us a semi-comfortable Summer by slathering, even piling, our roads with snow. I can hear her cackle whenever my front-wheel drive Buick gets stuck-- and I can't afford to get stuck. I'm semi-retired and do delivery work with my own vehicle. I need an S.U.V. ! My kingdom-- a 300 square foot apartment plus one dog-- for an S.U.V. ! Anyway, Witch-- I say that affectionately-- Keep writing. But more importantly, keep laughing at the countless absurdities in life.
Bob
Well, Bob, I wish you lots of luck, a little  and a bit of magic. I sure hope you win the lottery soon, so you can get that SUV! I'll even throw in a lucky  and  .
Thank you for your comment, Bob! 
BIG BAD WOLF Feeling Thankful 
Submits:"What's Behind Me?"
Comedy is very tricky.
Indeed it is, BBW! 
Thanks for the feedback, folks. We editors really appreciate it!
Enjoy your Halloween -- see you next month!
 
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Comedy: October 08, 2014 Issue [#6585]
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