  Drama
This week: Exploring Emotion Edited by: zwisis
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French artist and painter Paul Cezanne claimed that "A work of art which did not begin in emotion is not art". Writing is a form of art, using words to convey emotional thoughts, actions and responses to the reader. As human being we all experience emotions - they are what sets us apart from the crowd and make us different to everyone else on the planet. Readers want to feel a character's emotions. Whether they want to identify or empathise with, love or hate an individual, those character's emotions will keep them reading a book up until the very last page.
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Your story may be exciting and a real page turner, filled with sharp, engaging dialogue and vivid, believable descriptions... but this all means nothing without that very human trait we call emotion. Emotions draw your readers into the story by making your characters seem real. One would expect that as writers we understand how to put thoughts and feelings to paper, but this task can be challenging. All too often the descriptions can feel less like a character’s feelings and more like the writer writing about how the character is feeling.
Because the distant third person point of view can and is expected to be somewhat detached inadequate descriptions of emotions may not be as noticeable. For those of us writing in the first or tight third person readers will not be as forgiving, and we risk losing that very important emotional connection with our readers. Here’s a very basic example:
Exhausted, I leaned against the wall, shaking with fear after escaping from the room.
Ask yourself if that sentence makes you feel the character’s fear. In that sentence no real emotion exists – it is simply a statement of actions. If you’re afraid do you analyse what has made you exhausted or why you’re shaking? Doubtful, because you don’t have time. You’re acting on instinct. Put yourself inside the character and describe her feelings – look out from the character, not at the character. Here’s an alternate version offering some emotional detail:
After slamming the door shut I stumbled forward in the dark, hands outstretched until they met the cold stone wall. I pressed myself against it, relief surging through my exhausted body. I wiped the sweat running into my eyes with the back of my hand, feeling the grains of dirt from the floor of the cell scratching my forehead. I felt my eyes fill with tears of joy. I did it! I escaped!
Here are a few different suggestions for showing emotions to your readers:
PHYSICAL
Emotions affect our bodies in various ways. Fear, tension and apprehension affect our heart rate and blood pressure. We sweat, feel dizzy or faint. Blood rushes to the temple and the heart begins to race. Some of us clench our jaw while others clench their fists. Fear can bring on a nervous tic or tapping foot. By contrast, love, affection and happiness make us feel lightheaded as our hearts flutter. We may feel dizzy, restless and breathless. All emotions cause a physical reaction that the point of view character will feel – tightening chest, breathlessness. The non point of view character will observe a physical reaction to an emotion – clenched hands, flushed skin.
ACTION
An angry person will strike out at something to vent his feeling – throw a punch, put a fist through a wooden door or throw an item across the room. Allowing all your characters to actively express their reactions to various emotions will help readers identify and empathise with your story. Use words that actively describe a physical action to an emotion: “He hit the table with his fist” is not nearly as descriptive as “he slammed his fist down on the table”. Choose an action work that emphasises emotion: “She slid/glided/walked/slithered/crept across the floor” all bring different emotions to play regarding the character because each one says something different about her.
IMAGERY
Each character reacts in a different way to any emotion. Understanding a specific reaction is a good guideline to understand someone’s feelings. Some of us analyse a situation and deal with it in a methodical manner, refusing to allow emotions to interfere. Others think too much and allow emotions to take control of a situation. So if these two characters are placed together, the emotions will work together for an interesting result – good or bad. This also helps strengthen the connection with readers who have probably found themselves in a similar position in their own personal relationships.
In poetry we use imagery to express emotions. This idea can work well in prose writing. Colourful language, metaphors and similes are excellent tools to convey emotions without using a single emotional word. Example: I couldn’t stop staring at his handsome face is pedantic and dull, whereas the world faded into grey, void of all colour except him, vibrant in the sunlight.
DIALOGUE
Covered in my previous newsletter, dialogue should aid emotional content without using common dialogue tags and punctuation like exclamation marks. With correct dialogue and detailed wording there is no need for exclamation marks because your words can convey the emotions you are describing.
Consider a simple sentence: “I’m so scared of him I don’t know what to do!” she screamed. With a bit of imagination and perhaps some experience any writer can write dialogue that replaces the exclamation mark and emphasises the character’s feelings. My rewritten sentence: “I can hear him moving around downstairs,” she whispered into the phone. “He knows I’m here alone in the house, and when he comes upstairs he will find me. I don’t know what to do”. Her breathing was ragged. “I can’t move from the bedroom. Please help me.”
I don’t think an exclamation mark is needed in the rewrite. Try to restrict exclamation marks to short, single word sentences: Stop! No! Help! Wow! Please!
Another suggestion is to consider word sounds for dialogue to help create atmosphere and emotion. Dialogue in tense situations tends to be short and featuring hard consonants such as b, c, d, g, k, p, q and t. The sound of these letters is sharp and direct: “Time to kill you, you pathetic creature. Get out. Go away, quickly, and don’t come back.” In contrast, softer letters work well for gentle, intimate and thoughtful situations. All the vowels and the consonants f, h, l, m, n, v and w give lilting, gentle words: “I love you so much,” she whispered.
SENSES
Intense emotions can heighten the senses, increasing perceptions. Love makes a person feel sensual and beautiful, while fear induced a heightened awareness of the environment. Use the senses to help build emotion; as fear may induce a dry throat and contracted stomach so a sudden explosion may cause ringing ears. A scent may trigger a long distant memory – cheap cologne or cigarette smoke can be used to introduce a menacing character from the past. The smell of lavender or a specific perfume or aftershave make evoke memories of someone special.
Emotions can be used to turn an average scene into one that remains with the reader long after the book has been finished. Don’t just describe a character’s emotions; make your readers feel those emotions. If you can capture emotions you will capture your readers.
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Jonathan often wondered how his mother could watch these talk show programs every day. After a half-hour of watching two couples yelling at each other about who was the father of a young girl's baby, he thought perhaps he finally understood; through all the passionate arguing, Jonathan actually forgot for a moment why he was in the hospital.
I recalled the tears running down his face as he described the scene of his arrest. He was at home with wife, Sharon, and their two small girls.
"Once I arrived, I knew something was amiss, but I buried the feeling deep down. I looked around the large space and in front of me stood Gabriel. He was magnificent."
I saw my Emily. I saw my love. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, and my heart dropped as I watched her. She was sitting near the stone, our stone.
Swallowing, Suzy bit her lip and did her best not to whimper. Even beneath the layers of dirty laundry she could smell the drink on her mother’s breath and clothing.
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#165490 by Not Available. |
Laura woke up. She rubbed her eyes groggily, the dream fading before she could grasp it. She could only recall that Nicole had been in it and that her daughter's presence had given her the strength she had needed.
| | The Promise (13+)
The distinct clickety-clack of an approaching train heralded the arrival of our destiny
#1226992 by Shannon   |
I don’t remember exactly how it started, but when father's bank shut down our meals became fewer and farther between. We bartered or sold everything of value just to put food on the table, but there were days we had nothing to eat.
And then, suddenly, he was there, right in front of the table. The boy had taken his voucher and was handing her a copy of the book .. and then .. and then Tom was just melting into her gaze, nestling in the soft music of her voice |
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Mrs. Nixie Clause 
Compelling NL, Sarah.
I'm wondering about your suggestion to vary dialogue tags. I don't see the harm, but the trend is to limit a tag, using only he/she said. The rationale being, no one "sees" the tag, or the reader might not agree with the author's choice.
However, your examples are stellar and appropriate, so there you go!
I was also thinking (it's a character flaw of mine lol) about books written using slang current with today's society. Some of it is really weird. Will it still be popular two years from now, or will it be meaningless and confusing?
~Nixie
p.s. Thanks for featuring my little short story. 
I do think there’s merit in using “he said/she said”, especially when using short sharp sentences. I also believe varied dialogue works well, helping build emotion and imagery for the reader. I’m thinking “he gasped” makes more of an impact than “he said”. Slang... that’s not easy because as you say it may become dated. However, if the slang is representative of your characters, their environment and their era then it should work and withstand the test of time. Interesting point!
dogwalker 
As a struggling writer with more than one genre on different burners, I can relate. Dialog is tough, and I haven't spoken in years; tracheotomy does that to one. So writing is my outlet, no - passion - (mistress?). A shirt pocket, notebook and pen are 99% of the time available. But sometimes a theme will just sneak up on one. How to communicate with an intelligent artefact, which has been out of the loop for several thousand years? And it *chose* the poor wizard! Much to discuss, much to find out, many travels and travails to go through. Too bad the original owner is dead. Much to discover. Keep up the good work. I've been offline for a while. Love the site.
I like the way you put this – being chosen to bring a story idea to life! Means we writers are really quite special! So how do we start? Research, I guess, which can be tedious and dull but if it brings the story to paper then isn’t it worth it?
And yes, this is a special site!
SantaBee 
Great newsletter on Dialogue! I like to use action tags with the dialogue to change things up and keep things interesting with the characters.
I do too, and I believe sometimes one dialogue tag can say more than an entire sentence. I love the way they can emphasise emotions to the reader.
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Drama: March 26, 2014 Issue [#6232]
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